- All
Comments (10) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
nice
this seem like it's going to be a good romantic story, can't wait to read more..
Not bad.
You should work on your tenses, though. It has a good foundation and plot, but you keep moving between the past, present and possibly transitive. Pick one and stick with it.
good start to a romantic story it is shaping up well love to read more .
Awwww, that was adorable.
eagerly wating for the next 1
Thanks!
Thanks for the comments guys. I'm glad you pointed that out anonymous (I'm being sincere) about the tense discrepancies, I'll definitely keep that in mind for the future installments. Will post soon!
Great start
Good start to what is hopefully a great story. The slow build up is excellent. A few surprises on the way would be good, so it's not all predictable. If its drawn out a bit that's ok too. Looking forward to the next installment.
Cute beginning
I very much like how you're building the characters up and I'm definitely looking forward to the next installment. You've created a good environment, a sweet story, and engendered reader investment in the characters. But (for there must always be a 'but'), I would advise you to review your grammar a little bit. For example, you're changing between past and present tenses when instead you'd be better served by picking one and sticking with it. Nonetheless, still a very cute beginning. :)
waiting for chapter two
A great start to a great story. Hope number two comes soon.
It's starting good, although it would have been better if you had included the first couple of chapters in the first story. Transexual romance are one of my favorite genres of erotic stories, because I am a lonely transgender myself and I yearn for some love to warm my heart.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to High School Love or
More submissions by f1dude_lotus.