by Nudeandmiddleaged
This is a good "quickie" story. Some people read for the eroticness of the story; others see thier purpose in life to be a critic and not accept an offering for what it is.
Please keep writing and do follow-ups on this story. It is a good beginning. And keep using punctuation for yours and our pleasure.
I go along with the other commenters and reckon that was a darn good job.
Please can we have more in the same vein.