All Comments on 'Guillotine Shawl'

Wonderful characterisations, you really presented two believable flawed characters. I really liked the build up and where it was going, but the ending felt kind of incomplete or rushed? Normally if it ends in a rush there's an unexpected twist, which didn't really seem to be present. In all probability it's just my expectations leading me astray with it being filed under "Erotic Horror".

My only criticism is that letting people get away with playing that kind of game is a bad idea. One of the four should have called in the police. Good on Ben, though, for having examined the thing earlier.

Or, one more thing. I found the occasional jumps into present tense and POV jarring. ("Another dispute is worrying me slightly. Ben and I together have won more ... ", for example) If this was deliberate, I don't see the reason; if not, it's sloppy.

Oh. And surely, "La Maison", not "The Maison"?

An excellent story, which I greatly enjoyed despite things like these. Mostly I've been avoiding your erotic horror stories. Decided to try this one, and I'm very glad I did.

- WWC3