All Comments on 'Unextpected Change..'

Who ever wrote this needs to learn how to write in real English! This story is utter trash because it's unintelligible! At least use the spell check part of whatever word processing program you have.

Your written English could do with a little more practice and perhaps a consultation once or twice with a dictionary (especially so in the title of the work!), but in no way whatsoever is the story unintelligible - it's quite readable in fact, although you do mix your tenses one or twice. Even so, it's an enjoyable story, and I'd like to read more chapters of it, please!

Sure, you could take time to spell check, make sure the verb tenses match, and so on. But, really, they are easily fixed.

I like the idea behind the story - and I think you do too - but it needs a little tightening up. It doesn't feel right. Try to tell the story without the dialog.

Good job so far, though.

when the author can't even spell the title.

You need to either spell check on your word processing application or have someone proofread your story!!.

what do you mean "it needs a little tightening up"? also how do you "to tell the story without the dialog." and what is "although you do mix your tenses one or twice."

please reply

i thought ur story was good especially when she dresses him up plz continue

Great story put more parts on please

great story, need to use spell check, but really need to continue

the story.

Spelling aside, good story. would like to see more of their fun, now that he is all dressed up.

bobbi

Good beginning, now add a few more chapters.

I will bet that the extra weight being added to his chest and hips is from female hormones being shot into his ass from the dildo when he feels something wet during sex in his ass.

when you going to finish?

good story, but lots of spelling mistakes, including the title

It a cute erotic story of teens having fun and exploring