All Comments  for

The Killing Season

bymadam_noe©
All
Comments (4)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by twelveoone10/14/12

5ed

this has a nice external structure, 556,556,56, 6 being refrain, rhyme follows a strict pattern, internally it would have been nicer if word choice were better, and a little trick, change somethings in the last refrain, i.e.
Secrets we knew
Have faded in the killing season

sure my bud Tazz can add to that

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by tazz31710/14/12

A DREAM KILLER IS INSENSITIVE

to all others sans self. TK U MLJ LV NV

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by madam_noe10/14/12

TY

As a note: these are lyrics structured poetically. It's adapted slightly from its original form. I wrote in high school for my metal band. Just up here for fun :)

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by twelveoone10/14/12

as lyrics

quite nice, you really don't want too much poetry, doesn't work often, still some minor changes in the refrain, often does wonders. another thing, ambiguity, unless you're doin C&W, in which case stick to losin'
your woman
your man
your parkin space for the oversize truck
or pickin' & chosin'
a woman
a man
a bumper sticker for your truck

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to The Killing Season  or
More submissions by madam_noe.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission.

Post comment as (click to select):

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel