All Comments  for

Swallows

bydemure101©
All
Comments (3)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by tazz31710/16/12

CAPRISTANO AWAITS FOR THEM TO RETURN

and for those who remember the migrations ..TK U MLJ LV NV

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Ashesh910/16/12

you word-paint like the Maestro ....

that you are !!!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by ishtat10/20/12

Edit?

This feels to me as though it might benefit from an edit. For example do you need any of the first three lines before "I Did" - "wonted" is accurate but is its archaism distracting? - I dunno. You might consider a comma after "rain." - Two syllable "nestlings" breaks up the musicality just a tad. One syllable, young, or something like that possibly? - Drop "away"? and "beyond the hill" perhaps. A 4.5 so I'll go slightly higher

On the other hand, you can ignore my meanderings.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Swallows  or
More submissions by demure101.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel