by dawoolef
I loved your story, it was hot. A sequel to it would be amazing I think
Absolutely red hot,sucking and fucking to a mind blowing cum, more and more please and soon. Cunt lapping sex maniac, Lanc's UK
So I want you to stop teasing. Please submit a full story, but please complete something.
You've got great ideas, but it will piss off a lot of readers if you make it a habit. It just feels unfinished.
I hope we get more from you though.
ES
a proof reader since you obviously are unable to do it yourself!!
There're times when you even write 'i' instead of 'I'!!
This is a website that offers amatuer writers the chance to publish their works for the rest of us to see. If you have a critique that does not involve the grammatical errors, than by all means share. But if you cannot be bothered to write anything else, please quit leaving such reviews.
I just stumbled upon this while browsing through the public comments under the Incest category.
Anon #1 was just a damn rude person, but he had a point to make. Literotica, as the site is named, I suppose is about writing erotic materials in a literarily manner. Therefor, readers leaving comments about spelling / grammatical mistakes should not be denied or discouraged, contrary to what Anon #2 seemed to suggest.
Come on you guys, it's an erotic story; read, enjoy and leave positive comments. If you didn't like it or the grammar mistakes write direct.
For me it was great such a shame it wasn't in time for the Summer Loving entry it would have had a good chance.
Please keep writing, you are good.
Very hot. She's such a slutty, naughty little girl. I hope there's another chapter; and I hope she gets spanked after she asks her Daddy to spank her.
Good, if slightly formulaic - and too short.
Not sure how I would have fared reading this later in my reading session, but as the first thing I read this morning it got me maybe a third hard. I think it was all over a bit too quickly for more blood flow to occur.
This story was amazing!!! Not my all time favorite but if I had to place it, it'd be pretty high up there. This was really a memorable story for me. I hope you continue to make a sequel to this one because it was very hot!
SO THE SLUT USES DADDY'S CREDIT CARD.....THESE STUPID CLUELESS CUCK FATHERS ARE PATHETIC