All Comments on 'Shortcut Home'

by Desejo

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HarryHillHarryHillover 11 years ago
This is the second time one of your writes transports me

to the blessing of the monsoon or an ill advised walk that leads to a crawl through the web. thanks!

..

P.S. ...M.S.?..(Francis)

DesejoDesejoover 11 years agoAuthor
Corrections

Yes, there are two mistakes in the last stanza that I'll fix (when I figure out how to do that): it's Frantz Fanon, not Francois and there is a typo in the first line that demure pointed out. Inexcusable, but apologies. I just submitted a corrected version.

twelveoonetwelveooneover 11 years ago
i5ed

this is a wonderful write, so much is alive, best line:

The dirt is a millipede on his head

however, the psychology of the read all leads up to something that takes the average reader of the page, probable bad tactic, it's like an inside joke. you either know it going in, or it not have the same effect when explained. if you must do off the page, it's best to keep it in a subsidiary position. jmo

HarryHillHarryHillover 11 years ago
For 12 oh

Yeah ... but .. the squalor of the images implies (correctly) the subject of the unknown authors work........and I do believe that it is Suhail that is looking at the socks then for an answer in a book ....anybody?

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