All Comments on 'My Sensual Excursion with Dakota'

Sorry, but your story was so unlikely, with no build-up or reason for Dakota to even meet up with them at first, that it just made it impossible to read or believe.

If you want to improve your story, have them find out where Dakota is staying / going out and "accidentally" bump into her and try to build something from there. Don't jump into "you're on my freebies list, so lets have sex" its way to immature and unrealistic.