All Comments on 'Amber and Jack Ch. 01'

by horny8191988

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  • 31 Comments
irishkenny1974irishkenny1974over 11 years ago
Enjoyed it.

The dialogue was a little mawkish in places, but overall very hot! Would certainly like to see this continue. Perhaps with the wife included? Or maybe take it down a BDSM path? :-)

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
yes, more please!

I would love it if they did it again and she got pregnant.

knotthd44knotthd44over 11 years ago
Great start to a very hot series of hot adventures for these two. Keep up the good work.

Great start I think to some very hot sexual adventures for these two.

Keep up the good work!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Great start

Love to see her become his little sex toy.

VikingboyVikingboyover 11 years ago
Irishkenny has it right

Let the wife "discover" them, and let her and Jack take care of Amber. Some nice three-way with a little bondage and spanking added in.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
So hot!

Loved this. Would love to read more and more of their fucking adventures!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
HOTTTT

Very hot, very delicious....Jack will likely have a lively imagination and will inspire Amber's as well....well written

praetorian23praetorian23over 11 years ago
Very well done !!!!!!

Keep it comming, so to speak!!! Great so far....

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

Parts of this story were very good, parts needed more polish, but a very worthwhile read. Forget everyone's ideas for the story line and stay with your own; you seem to be on the right track. But, seriously, whoa back on the use of "smirk." Way, way too much smirking going on. It's a word with a smug connotation, no matter it's broader application. My own preference would be moan, rather than grunt -- just seems more like pleasure, less like taking a dump. Please understand my critical comments are offered in the kindest way possible, and not as a personal offence. Anyone who writes a yarn is worth about 20 times more than a donkey ass critic.

secretlynaughtyladysecretlynaughtyladyover 11 years ago

Look forward to reading more

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

emergency brake

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
GREAT START

yes, you're a good writer make a series about these 2 or maybe add Mrs. Callahan

mghoppermghopperover 11 years ago
more please

Great start please continue the story, I loved it.

masterslave00masterslave00over 11 years ago
Good...

Good first attempt. Continue, I will be coming back...

Outsider505Outsider505over 11 years ago
Great work

Great story! Will be waiting for the next chapter

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Yes!

More please! Got me hot in seconds - more!

tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
DO YOU NEED ANOTHER RIDE

call me and I will cum to you. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
More, please

Your story develops well, but could be improved by proofreading. Spellcheck will not catch the use of improper pronouns, which tends to confuse your reader.

Example:

"He quickly pulled his cock out of her tight pussy before slamming back into him"

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
More More More

What a hot little babysitter! I want to see more of them. She's such a naughty little girl! Maybe his wife catches them. Wow. There are many ways you can go with this storyline.

Nemesis1066Nemesis1066over 11 years ago

Really enjoyed the first installment, so there has to be more. Thanks

Joe_RobertsJoe_Robertsover 11 years ago
more please

include in the next writing if Amber is on the pill or not... and how fertile she is if she isn't on the pill...

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

love this story! please write more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
More Please

Please continue. Very good so far...

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Crap

Just plain rubbish why was she letting him Rubbish

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Wow

You got me so wet, the foreplay a the beginning, Jack's orgasm description... I couldn't stop touching myself.

I'll stay posted, thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
More!!

Loved it and lQQk forward to further adventures with Amber. She sounds so refereshing and in Need of further guidance and hands on experience. If she needs help l will be more than happy to help;o) Joe

William smythWilliam smythabout 11 years ago
Joining the majority

Adding one more compliment for this writer.

I read her second story today and liked it so well I logged on to this one and found it every bit as good. Both of them 5 star!

So by all means use those ideas you have twirling around in your head and give us more of this real good honest porn.

MRSheaMRSheaabout 11 years ago
Anticipation...

Yes the sitter and the dad is a bit taboo, YET, the anticipation of what was to cum was done very beautifully. I really enjoyed it. GREAT JOB!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Amber and Jack....

Definately continue this series please, very hot indeed!! I love to read stories of cheating husbands ( turns me on soooooooooo much ), so feel free to submit many more. Thanks for a great read.

Great job!!

horny8191988horny8191988about 11 years agoAuthor
Next Chapter

If anyone is interested... The next chapter of the story has been posted. It's under the "Erotic Coupling" section. It's titled Amber and Jack Ch. 02

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