I was completely hooked on this story from beginning to present chapter. Even thought this chapter broke "my heart." Part of of me wanted Malik to be a "better man." I wished that he would have had better control of himself, but he seemed like a man possessed, insecure, and cruel. Although it is clear that he has affection for her, he seems to be obsessed with keeping such feelings at bay. There are subtle cues that he feels ashamed about what he does (keeping her face away from him while raped her). However, I found the main servant to be an enabler towards Malik's darker side. Furthermore, his cruelty is excessive. Why? Was he abused? Who taught him? Is he driven by revenge? Frankly not enough is known about him.
if this might be a little Beauty and the Beast action. But, I keep hoping Malik will turn out not to be SUCH a beast. So far, he is an utter animal. Fingers crossed, though!
Just a little F.Y.I. Chapter 7 has just been submitted so it might be up Friday or Saturday.
I stumbled across your story and really love it. The story is great and I'm excited for the next chapter. My heart goes out to Brynna and the cruel way Malik devastated her. I want to hate Malik, and part of me is very angry at him, but another part of me wants him to redeem himself.
Yeah... I read it again, and I'm not any happier with it a second time. Unlike as in your previous rape scenarios, I no longer have the comfort of knowing your "hero" is at LEAST - ahem - loyal to his victim, if not somewhat likable. The real trouble is, Malik isn't even remotely likable. He's a manipulative, lying, soulless rapist. And now he's not even faithful with his physical attentions and even insults his rape victim in front of the women he drags home to... what? Rub in her face?
We're all trying to kid ourselves with that whole he's-just-misunderstood-and-wasn't-taught-how-to-e xpress-love business that women who like to be victims tell themselves, but his actions scream heartlessness. I have a difficult time feeling entertained by this, anymore. I wish I could say I did, because I liked it up to this point, but honestly, there's just nothing to appreciate about this man.
Or beast. Whatever he is.
She might BE better off if a horse throws her off a cliff somewhere. Then, maybe Malik can call the loan Paid In Full and move on to some other weak father with a daughter who needs to be made into a hollow shell. Apparently he gets off on that - not that we even know what's going through his caveman brain.
I've liked your previous stories, and I'll probably like future stories, but I like a little affection with my pain, or it's just pain. This one has lost me. I will probably read the remaining chapters because my mind doesn't like to leave things unfinished, but I'm completely finished with Malik. Brynna is a decent soul, though. Maybe she'll either die by horse trampling or find some kind highwayman to do the deed with a short sword. Or a long one. IDK.
Thanks, though. I do like your writing style. (Belated compliment, I know, but sincere.) I just prefer to spend hours and hours of my time with men who are at least barely tolerable.
I get it, and I get him... but her recovering from this and finding peace at the end of this story in his arms is ridiculously unrealistic. She better go off and marry a king and have him executed. You are an amazingly talented writer because not only was I hurt by what he did, I am enraged by it. Excellent work.
Just where are you going with this Malik character? There is a difference between a slow reveal and just confusing the hell out of your readers.
This chapter has me really happy that the next one will be posted soon.
He's not the only fuckup guy I've ever encountered. More to the point, Malik YOUR character and this is your story. I'm all for constructive criticism, but people need to try to resist the urge to tell you you went wrong with your characters. This is your show. I hope you will continue to own it and do with your story what you will. I trust you, and, even if I didn't, screw me. Let's let you handle it and let the haters hate. :) Carry on.
I started reading your story and couldn't stop. Now I am sitting here so anxious for the next chapter. I was captivated by the many twists and turns but then BAM! I was not expecting the rape and 3 whores following. I thought I kind of knew where it was going, but now I am totally lost! There was just a redeeming quality in Malik, that kept me pulling for him, but now I just think he is a totally jerk. I am not sure if he can come back from this, nor am I sure I want him to. You brought in a few interesting twists that have me wondering.... He is trying to pay her back, but for what? Was all this, just out of revenge or does he have sincere feelings for her? Can you possibly still have feelings for a man that raped you? I agree with the others, you are an amazing author to have us all in knots! Usually I read older stories because I don't like not knowing what happens, and didn't realize this wasn't finished. Now the anticipation is killing me!!
Ack! I'm addicted! I'm must know what happens next!!!
Next chapter now please
I think you need to resubmit Chapter 7. It's been quite a while since your submission. They probably lost it.
Just when I was thinking, 'here's another dewy eyed so-called Master giving in too soon' you threw in the rape and the betrayal and pulled me back in. I love a good, hard twist and you do it in every one of your stories. Please, please pay no mind to what those who cannot handle a good jerk of their senses and continue on exactly as you always do. I can't wait for the seventh chapter.
So addicted to your writing! PLEASE post chapter 7! I am dying of curiosity!!!!
Chapter 7 should have been posted by now. What happen literotica?
keep going. i love your writing. you should do books. thou publish it in your pen name so we will know its you:) supporting you all the way!!!!!
Well what the heck, ch. 7 was supposed to be posted, what's going on?
The suspense is killing me!! I keep checking whether it's up, and keep getting disappointed!! Please please please post soon! :)
It should be under new submissions...
This installment literally brought tears to my eyes, so poignant was your characters' plight. Thank you.
Wow you are an amazing writer! Please continue your great work!!
I know I have 4 more chapters to get caught up but omg. U offically have left. Me stunned wow
Not your story, of course! Your story is frigging amazing! I am totally hooked, and will soon be sauntering over to the next chapter for more! The characters are deep, the story line is riveting--filled with twists and turns--and the sex scenes are so uniquely detailed, they are beyond engrossing. But Bryanna needs to get her head out of her groin and run away. Malik isn't just evil anymore. He's now become a vile monster in my eyes, incapable of redemption. So, kill Malik! Kill him in a fire! Bryanna and Brom would work out nicely, though. Keep writing!
This one was a gasp inducing story, a remarkable achievement. There could have been nothing worse than the sight she was met with. My heart sank as hers sank, and my stomach turned from the sheer evil of his actions. Were I her, I doubt there would be any way he could attain retribution from me. Aside from the wicked spell he has cast, nothing else could allow forgiveness. If he does apologize at all, I will be interested to see how it goes. Superb work! Thank you and I hope you will continue to share your brilliance even after this series is complete. You must!
I am in so much awe of your amazing story. And so jealous! If I could write like this, I’d be sending my work to a publisher ― but please don’t ... at least not until I finish the remaining chapters.
Loved this chapter, such drama! I never expected a brutal rape scene, as the fic seemed so soft. So glad Brynna found out the truth, and confronted him about it, and showed him how much she detests him. Seems he was horrified with himself after, as he should be.
Bit annoyed that Brynna is having some kind of jealous reaction to him, when he's in bed with the prozzies, as he should be dirt on her feet to her now. Perhaps I read it wrong, she must just feel quite broken after their last meeting, and by his current words. I hope she hasn't just conveniently "forgotten" the rape, and gone back to mindlessly pining for him. That would be very disappointing, and completely against her character.
Can't wait to read more.
(The story is really hot, but I'm still really struggling with this guy's name, whenever you write 'Malik' I get a picture of a skinny nerdy little Indian boy with a nasal voice and bug eyes, it just doesn't suit him, and I need to block it out to maintain the.. mood of the scene :). I must be associating it with someone I've met called that LOL or how the name sounds when pronounced..sorry)
I really hope she kills herself and he feels bad forever!!!
Methinks Malik has poor people skills....
Malik just showed a new level of penis behaviour!! Poor Brynna I wanted 2 cry fo her... Your writting is amazing, you bring each of your characters 2 life, thank you
love all the angst! 3 women is a bit overkill though...
I would've throw the tray of food at them, if I were her, which thankfully I am not. amazing writing as always titania123!!!! love love love your story....sitting on the edge of my seat to read more!!!
He did trick her father. I always thought that something was fishy when he acquired her as his slave. If I remembered it correctly, in the first chapter, he acted like he was surprised that the old man had a daughter and thought that the daughter was still a child. But when they arrived at his castle, everything was prepared for her arrival like everyone in the household anticipated her slavery so that alone made me question. But then again, I want to hear Malik's side. Who knows, maybe he is not as bad as he appears to be.
Love your story and I'm hooked!
I'm so sad!! I don't like where this is going.This is becoming painful!
I'm tempted to stop reading right here.
I still want her to murder him and run off with the stable boy.
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