All Comments on 'The Building Maintance Man'

sometimes its repair whats broken. TK U MLJ LV NV

after she had cheated on him 5 years.................

A serial cheater wife. 3 years later after the Bahamas she will have the next loverboy, but she learnt to hide secretly her affair avoid any divorce........

Reconcilation with Revenge Story. I think RAAC. The revenge part was good, but the Author did not show the pair's future. Chuck could live in the family with his children, but he should follow the husband from itmgr2010's story "Disco Nights".............

Taking the whore wife back is a terrible letdown. First husband is given some balls and than make into (like it or not) a wimp.

Needs an editor! Flow of tale is not good at all.

stupid story !!

Needs some editing. There was a switch from first to third person just before Chuck went up the elevator. There were also some grammatical and spelling errors. The story had originality and was reasonably cohesive. I do suspect there would have been an investigation into the rich asshole's death, and Chuck's type of repair business would have made him a suspect. Taking Annie back leaves a bad taste (pun intended), and no mention was made of testing her (or himself) for STD's. Thanks for writing.

Nice try at a first story. The early plot was fairly common, but the elevator accident was unique. The ending was much less than satisfactory. The worst part was the grammar and the incorrect spelling chosen for certain words. That might be picky, but it really affects the flow of the story.

Good first story! Always nice to have new pens in this section

Ilooks like Huedogg has a hardon for MM - he can't make a comment without referring to him. Kinda sweet in a sad way.

I liked your story. It brought out some very realistic things that can happen in everyday life. Your grammar will improve with time. Now the next chapter should be a strong one; about how Chuck and Annie restore their life plus learn to have limited new adventures that they both can accept. Thanks for your story !!

I'm going to favorite too. Love your style - that's a real voice. Sounds just like a huedogg stroy! Oh. Wait a minute. Let me check your profile..1*

No way i would stay with the slut she isnt sorry.

hope they both catch a disease now cause he is a wimp.

cheaters deserve to get the worst in life and be treated like shit.

Needs a bit of editing. And be wary of the advice about using a spell checker. Mad instead of made and the spell checker still thinks it's right!

so how could he want that piece of trash back.. this was not a mistake, it was an ongoing affair. he didnot have to kill him . he could have used those videos of the other women to destroy him.. pretty weak story if you ask me. why take the whore back he shuld have made her take that elevator ride with him. if you like a gory conclusion...sick sick story..

Thanks for the feed back. I know about the spelling thing and I check and recheck but some things get by me. The gramar and second and third person thing, you have me on that one. I will watch that in the future.

I know some of you would have rather seen Ann take the fall also and Chuck is a wimp for not letting her. But we all know this is fiction right?

I graduated high school in '75 so I may be a little bit rusty, so bare with me please.

Thanks

trashmantx

A Very well told tale (except for the grammar). Original and interesting. A "5." What I don't understand is why readers look at these stories to be exercises in morality. The moral was clear....evil is dead, the wife who stuck with her husband when push came to shove (and more) gets her just reward. Just one question....did the big man get to drink his cup of coffee when he came in to work?

I liked the story. Good overall. You could definitely use some help with grammar. You could stand to break up some of your text into more sentences, you could also make better use of commas. I caught a couple spots in the story where it felt like you got a bit ahead of yourself while typing and forgot to put in some information in what you were doing. Interesting how you turn the wife into a bit of a sub after everything else.

In many revenge story there is not any moralilty. I recommend Longhorn__07 "Fool Me Once". Wife's loverboy gets 20 years prison INOCENTLY for fucking somebody's wife!!!!!! Inocent was sent to 20 years prison, what a morality!!!!!!! In the good revenge story there is no morality, but MUTUALITY. If you cheats you lost her/his possibilties for fair treatment in the marriage. THIS IS NOT MORALITY, IT IS CLEAR REVENGE!!!!!! If you have such possibilty to do harm without police/court problem, if you have possibilty to start law suit and make the loverboy/exwife's company kick him/her from their job, If you could use everything to get the children custody YOU ( and AUTHOR) USED IN A REVENGE STORY! In the World Literature the husbands was the negative person in the novels, novellas the Authors wrote their stories with husband bashing direction and this changed with the Revenge Stories as a new literature genre!!!!!!!!!

BTW In the revenge story that is one of the erotic things, when the betrayed husband can change the cheating wife to a younger, more beautiful Second Chance woman and the ex knows this. This is a very good erotic fantasy and better erotic fantasy as the creampyeating willing cuckold husband stories.

violence settled less than nothing. While killing the "Bull" might make you think you are a man, all it does is make you a murderer. The real criminal in this piece gets let off with a worning. Wow are you ever strong. She fed the zero/hero another man's cum for years and he does nothing about it. That spells cuck and as he now knows it happened that spells willing cuck. Aside from the fact the story lacked a single character worth hearing about, I thought the author made a good attempt at a plot. Yes there were spelling and grammar errors but these will fade as the author writes more stories. Honing your craft. Next work on likable character developement so that a story has something for the majority of your readers not just the cucks who will love this.

I gave this ***.

Really enjoyed the story. Justice isn't about the value of the law. Many times a higher law is often, in the eyes of the extremely rigid, illegal. Who cares. The jerk had it coming to him. Give us more.

What a morality there is in FrancisMacomber's some excellent Revenge stories.

In "The Six O'clock News Slot" her job and future job possibilty of the cheating wife was destroyed total, so she lost the daughter custody with very rarly meeting (She lives LA California and her daughter lives in Alabama).

In "The Honeytrap" or "Divide and Conquer" the betrayed husbands destroy the future connection of the loverboy and the soon to be exwife.

From the fundemental morality the majority of the Revenge Stories are a deficit in morality. In the life a betrayed husband will lost against the cheating wife with the assisting of the court system, moreover he will see his children rarly after divorce so the Revenge Story has some Robin Hood supporter effect. In the XII Century England the anti moralty forrest bandit could become the central hero for such people who think themself they are beside the morality. It is good erotic fantasy read such husband heroes who were succesful with revenge to the loverboys and the cheating wives and could change the cheating wives to better (younger, more beautiful) Second Chance women. I think many husband who remained in marriage with a cheating bitch for sake of their children (we call them whimp) think this a good erotic dream! However several male (and women Danger09) readers who live in normal pair connections likes the Revenge Stories as well.

If somebody looks at the World Literature the husband bashing stories, novels, novellas, dramas are in overhelming majorities during 2 thousands years. The past was the male dominant World and the dumb, violanced, abused husbands were too many. However the gender equity this disapeared and the World went to the other extremities. So the Revenge stories arrived to us as the signal of the Robin Hood supporter mentality in the outherside of literature............

I think that possibilty the exhusband pays children support only for his DNA realitive children a steps to the good direction and will give newer writer weapons to the pen or keyboard of Revenge Story Authors ).

I found the small errors did not interfere with my following the tale except that once or twice I had to stop and get back on the rails. Everyone needs an editor as reading the comments shows quite clearly....

The basic idea was interesting. The protagonist was lucky that he did not get killed in the fight. Note that many readers in this category use a check list and if you do not hit all the items the story is defective...?? What I think they want is to read the same revenge story every and to read nothing else! TU for your fine effort and hang in there....

she was not taken out with the days trash? The fact that he kept her was a disappointment, but liked this guy and the fact he did not simply submit to the circumstances.

Some gave this dribble a five. You got to be kidding.!

It would have been considerably better if he had used the information on the computer to destroy Jackson without killing him, especially since he used it anyway. The way to really hurt Jackson was to take all of his toys away.

The only possible reason for using the information after killing jackson would be to shed the suspicion around as to who actually did the deed. You can bet your bottom dollar that a fatal elevator crash would be investigated carefully and anything that didn't belong in the elevator controls would be found. It seems pretty natural that the first place the cops would look is at a building maintenance man whose wife is screwing the dead man.

You do need an editor. Lack of commas, wrong word use and misspellings detract from the read.

Excellent first story. The good guy wins big time. The story went straight to the conflict and that caught my interest right off, not an easy thing to do. I'm looking forward to more.

Yeah good guy wins , but he'sstill married to anigger fucking wife. Well I suppose at least he knows what a skanky nigger fucker he's married to, if he divorced her and found another woman he would always have to worry if she was a nigger fucker too.

..story, bad grammar, bad spelling.

He should have kicked her ass. Why keep the cheating whore?

Good story concept. Absolutely hideous writing.

So confused and many errors that it was almost unreadable at times.

Hard to read, but the story is (eventually) comprehensible. Since Hubby waited several days after 'maintaining' everything, I'm sure Bull got a taste of Hubby JUST like Hubby got to taste Bull (hot but mixed-in with another flavor)! Granted, Sweetie was more culpable than Bull, but she was also Mother of Hubby's kids (as she stated to the Bull)! (And better in the rack!) She DID have a decision to make and made the better one. Sweetie will (now) be a TLW...she just caught on to exactly how her 10" filler got squashed flat as a pancake! And knows how close SHE came and how she got spared!

3* coulda been a Fiver!

If you can't be bothered with that simple task, if you care that little about your own story, why should anyone care about your story?

Like many I liked the story. The ending with the elevator "accident" was as many have said unique. As to keeping the wife, I wouldn't have, but we all experience love differently. Great job, as a first story or a fiftieth, this was a fun read.

But the storyline pulled the story through.

A great revenge storyline.

Thanks for the read

Well, you should never try to "screw" a building maintenance guy, or for that matter, an engineer either. We do know how to exact revenge. Really liked the story.

You switched back and forth between first person and second person. Sometimes it was I did this and I did that. Other times it was Chuck did this and Chuck did that. You need to edit yourself better. Sitting downstairs getting drunk while the wife is getting laid upstrairs, and admits it had been going on for five years, and humiliates and threatens him during his humiliation. Taking her back under any circumstances was foolish. But hey, the guy was clearly a fool.

how dare you confuse the poor fools by changing persons and probably tense also. well done and fuck those that cant keep up.

iloved it , i know now for sure i will never let my husband catch me

ofcousre i have always been very very carefull when meeting black guys

a good lesson to learn girls

Them rigs the hard wired controls to an elevator forcing a crash? No one finds that suspicious?

Don't get me wrong, this was a good story because the hero got the girl and beat the pants off his rival; but it was unbelievable as well.

She deliberately and maliciously cuckolded him, yet he's still staying married to her? Why? She hasn't learned a lesson, she believes Jackson's death was an accident, and she'll do it again. Anyone can commit murder - this man has no balls where it COUNTS, which means ditching cheating whores, instead of letting them infect you with whatever diseases their manslut lovers gave them.

Good read and very funny!!! Thanks for sharing

There was one problem, however. He stayed married to the cunt who cuckolded him for five years. She should have been on the elevator also.

Harsh? Yes.

Disagree with me?

Who gives a fuck.

HA

@ kathy2b46 When you cheat on your husband you must ask your loverboy for using rubber. The STDs are good cheating signal for no dumb husbands.................and in case of STDs a cheating wife may be very very VERY CARFUL , BUT the no dumb no willing cuckold husband could guess ............Every 4th USA citizen will have or had STDs............

The constans loverboy may not be sure, because he may be other woman mate (wife girlfriends) who also cheats with a vector of STDs and he gives to others.........................

BTW I wrote such humorous comments, the PI companies should give random spouse (wife/husband) investigate package for clueless spouses so the betrayed spouse can start change the cheating spouse earlier and the betrayed spouse could be more time to find Second Chance mate (woman/man).

I think the biggest problem of the cheating is the STOLEN TIME from the betrayed spouse for LOOKING FOR Second Chance Woman or Man. The STDs, humuliation, bastard trinty may be seriouse things, but to get rid of the cheating spouse IN TIME the best BENEFIT for everybody! A slut wife may be positive for a husband, because the cheater behavioral will be guessed by the husband earlier as a picky careful serial cheater wife's hid affairs! Look at kathy2b46's comment.

I am sorry it is better so: A slut wife may be positive for a husband, because the cheater behavioral will be guessed by the husband earlier than a picky careful serial cheater wife's hid affairs! Look at kathy2b46's comment.

Did you change your name, or is there a new bitch writer on the block?

Do us all a favor and go away!

Regardless of the theme of this story, the editing really needs to be taken into account. Other than that I personally liked the story.

Good first effort. No way can you call Chuck either a cuckold or a wimp. He didn't put up with her conduct and he killed the son of a bitch that tried to cuckold him. The decision to take her back was his alone to make. For that matter he still has time to throw her out when the kids grow up. Between now and then let him take her frantic attempts to make it up to him. By the time he really has to decide maybe she'll redeem herself. If not, did he really lose anything?

She's damaged goods.

And he's still a cuck.

Nice story, thanks for posting

@ Anon the positive story examples for it: Cpete's story "Family Guy" and itmgr2010's story "Disco Nights" and the negative example (the story is good, but the example....) Stangstar06's last story "Guess Who?".

he should have done all he did, and not done anything to stop her from being on the lift. A claim for damages to be made, money for the children and future and the loving wife meets the fate with her lover. Nice clean resolution

should have let her go with him into the elevator

I like that he left his wife's fate in her own hands, as far as letting her decide whether to stay with the bad guy or come back to him. I did have a couple problems with it, though.

1. Why change from 1st to 3rd person perspective with no warning? That didn't make a lot of sense to me, since we didn't get to see Jackson drink the cum laced coffee... which would have been an awesome addition to the story, by the way.

2. He really didn't do much to punish his wife for her affair, except to kill her lover. To be honest, I would have made her watch as I fucked a string of hot women as my revenge for her part in the whole deal. But then, that's just me. lol

All in all, I still gave it 5 Stars for the storytelling. Excellent. :)

the whore was fucking the black bull for 5 god damn years and feeding her husband his cum and she is still alive? not hardly.

but not quite falls way short, but just take her out to a 3rd world country and kill her,a large hole your cheating wife is using hers, so why not use ours "cheating holes r us no bitch we cant bury in extreme agony".

It could have been made more interesting with editing help.

Always good to see the "little guy" win one. And the manner in which he did it was a clever tale. I especially liked the fact that he was spanking her at the end as a constant reminder that she was a bad, bad girl! Good story.

And now the sluts in a collar - have some fun there dude 4*

he wont stand for being a cuckold but he kept her around after her lover locked him out of his bedroom to fuck his wife and she acted like it was nothing... great story

*

Bad bad bad, He burned the fucker, after he got his ass beaten ... good, that was expected; but why he kept the whore after she betrayed him that bad? No research on her to see what dirt she has; the only thing i see is she revealed her true colors ... Once a cheater, always a cheater.

3 stars. Not good material for a sequel unless he finds old dirt on her, divorce her ass and break the fuckers, that could be a good twist.

Author's only story. Bio indicated he was from TX. Why did I picture/hear England?

I don't understand why he didn't let her enter the elevator...Maybe just asking her to come home...If she choose to go with the lover, she would have the same destiny as the stupid bull...3* for the death of the bull...

Good to read that there are some authors who write good under dog stories on poor, clueless husbands.

The story was a good read, humorous and did alot for anti cuckold stories which are awash on this site.

For me I would have like to have known what dirt, if any Jackson Could have found out about chuck.

Perhaps he could have been an ex special forces, have family in the criminal under world perhaps.

This may have changed Annie and Jackson's treatment of Chuck for the better and even made them a little nervey !

The story did not fill in the gap between husband leaving the hospital and relaxing in the holiday restore. What did the wife actually do to win her husband back. Apart from otal sex, CIM , bit more sex, spanking, being collared, some mild BDSM, well to me that is natural evolution of a couples sexual journey and exploration. So exactly has the wife done to make it up to her apart from being faithful !

The wife could have arrange for her husband to have sex with other women and she can watch. This will take her on a journey of being a cuckquean, a true sacrifice of sexual gratification , Re big cock Jackson and making her husband a cuckold.

The story I feel can have a sequel of the gap in time, and how the wife has made it up to her husband.

Goid revenge story

NO VOTING, ONE STAR WERE TO MUCH

happened to the elevator.

would benefit from a good editor

The cunt had been fucking and sucking Boss Jig-a-boo for 5 years,and got off on having her husband eat his cream pie?! To hell with leaving her,he should have drugged Mr. Big-Dick,sliced off his cock and balls,and shoved them down Annie's throat 'til she suffocated!!! ~ The End!!!

I agree with betrayedbylove, and I also don't give a fuck what you think

The story starts out with Chuck in the first person ("I did...."), then ends with third person ("Chuck did...."). Even an amateur writer should know better. Knocks story down to two stars.

What a sap, or cuckold, or maybe wimp. So he killed the guy, big deal, he's was still a cuckold.

I guess...it was good that he was able to get revenge and all but seriously, you want to stay with a woman who threatened to send you to the poor house should you divorce her for her affair, enjoys having the affair which has been going long enough to question if your kids are yours, and to top it off makes you eat sloppy seconds, i"m all for the regretful cheating spouse reconciliation stories but seriously, there should be a limit.

Better if Chuck let her get on that elevator. Her and her big-dicked friend could have gone out in a grand bang together. And he’s a simpering wimp for not kicking her ass and kicking her ass out.

Can't believe he would keep the slut, let alone save her from the elevator ride. What a wimp, it's no wonder she fucked around on him.

For a first effort it showed good flow though unbelievable at times. On a side note....

NoWay would any real man have ever touched that nasty desease riddled pussy. The revenge on asshole was expected. The only problem was not having two occupants in the elevator for its final ride.

He had revenge on him took money life and his reputation etc

Wife basically punishing her every day but enough?

3 stars

Switch use of him and her etc but live with it

what is she, three years old?

she a grown ass woman.

three stars, would have been a five, but you gave some thot a pass....treating her like a three year old. all you had to do to keep this a five was force the bitch to watch him fuck hot young escorts with her lover's money. hell, he could have kept the worthless hoe, she did give him children. in the end....the cuck is the man that never got to breed. no one actually cares what hoes think and feel. their opinions don't actually matter.

...from first person to third person. Lots of spelling errors, for example: "I dont want to loose you". Instead of lose. It was somewhat unique with the cat burglar/ elevator repairman angle, but the worse part is the wife got away with it with absolutely no consequences. 2 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

Thank you all for reading my story!.

I have hundreds of other crappy stories on my computer with bad grammar poor punctuation lack of depth lousy character development and unclear point of perspectives.

I can post some if you want to read them :)

Well played. Not sure it wouldn't have been better had his wife made the trip to the basement Jackson, but there's other ways to skin a cat. Or a whore. Thanks for the story.

4 stars

You can say he got his revenge in the end but he was still a wimp. Not doing anything when walking in on his slut wife having sex with her lover, getting beaten up by her lover and then taking the slut back straight away. Yeah ok....

Taking her back just makes him nothing but a wimpy cuckold! TBE author should have just let him clean her up after she got fucked. Same thing.

Should have let her get into the elevator also. Drop both of them into Hell!

Imaginative and humorous.

I liked it. Not the normal LW fare.

You don’t keep her. It just doesn’t compute unless he really IS a cuck. Maybe Jackson was right?

At the end of the day all this was was a cuck story.

Why keep her? She disrespected him, degraded him, and should have been tossed aside.

Two stars.

Had the making of a pretty good story with the safe cracking and videos, yet failed.

He had the videos of the Jackson doing powerful men's wives. Just make them public, including his wife's. The powerful new enemies would make Jackson life difficult.

Or just crash the damn elevator and kill the guy. Keep video in hip pocket to cast suspicion others with resources and motive if needed.

Why in the world fight the guy in the lobby before the elevator crashed. Announcing to everyone Jackson was fucking his wife. Seems to me that would raise suspicion and put him in the police cross hairs.

Finally, why stay with the wife. I'd say 5 years of eating another fellow seed would be a pretty good reason to leave. Maybe even a good enough reason to let her get on that elevator as well.

Agree with the previous comment. Overdramatic, huge gaps in logic.

Still very rich short story. Many emotions, subplots, events.

Liked it. Thanks for sharing.

People have no idea what a good building maintenance engineer can do. We have to know all of the trades. The elevator was a stretch but the rest of the building could easily be fair game.