All Comments  for

Carlos Ch. 02

byYour Girl Daisy©
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Comments (10)
by Anonymous

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by ythebadger11/26/12

More about submission than anything else

and for that reason I didn't like it much.

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by RePhil11/26/12

Proof positive from a female writter !!!

Women are life support systems for their cunts with no other redeeming qualities whatsoever!! Oh if you bury theirs heads in the sand you can use them for bicycle racks

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by Anonymous11/26/12

WHAT SHIT

WORST WRITER HERE. YOU MUST BE A CHEATING CUNT IN REAL LIFE TOO.
ANYWAY YOU CAN NOT WRITE TO SAVE YOUR OR YOUR KID'S LIFE AND IF YOU TRY TO SAVE YOU HUBBY'S LIFE WITH YOUR WRITING THEY WILL NOT ONLY KILL HUBBY BUT YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND ANYONE WHO SHARES YOUR GENES

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by Anonymous11/26/12

hay fuck pig

"I wanted to spend the night and fuck all night but he clearly had other plans"his plans where to go out to the parking lot bathe in bleach vomit and purge then a hydrogen peroxide bath to kill any D N A from a pig fuck slut shit eater and those are your good quality's in pig latin oinker et horibilis a sad has been

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by Lickideesplit11/26/12

Formulaic stroke story

Writing mechanics are good (not great, 'whaled on my ass' vice 'wailed on my ass' - Carlos shed no tears ... any moisture was more viscous!) Character development is marginal ... Carlos is clearly a stereotype teen Chicano street guy - except he's over ten years older and seems to have a decent (at least fair-paying) job with some tenure! Sweetie is a successful executive cougar. We don't yet know (and may never) what line of business each is in...what we DO know is that they both enjoy hard sex!

To this point we know a little about Hubby, but he has yet to play a very significant role in this suck/fuck-fest (and may never!) Again, to this point, this might as well be in Erotic Coupling and avoid a LOT of trolls!

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by Anonymous11/26/12

To "hay fuck pig"

shouldn't you be in the gay category, seeing as how the thought of sex with a woman revolts you so? Here's an idea...why not skip Lit altogether?

Are we going to get more of the slut? 3*

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by LordSlamdawgg11/26/12

It's not bad for what it is !

This is more or less a page from a diary of a remorseless slut. I enjoyed it because it was- vivid and had minimal pretensions. To go to next level , the author needs to prowl around the psyche zone & answer a few pertinent questions. Does hubby have a clue what shes doing ? Does he care ? Are there time she feels guilty ?

I'd like to see the buildup to these heated trysts and the breakup process in some detail . I'm not complaining overmuch. The action had heat without lapsing overmuch into cliches. This could be very good with a bit more work but would have been MUCH worse without the aforementioned core ingredient..

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by m48gunner11/26/12

Consequences

Fine, she had her fun...how about some consequences for her lifestyle.

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by DWornock11/27/12

1*

"I was now 40"
Just another old folks story.

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by Anonymous02/09/13

These haters

are so boring!

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