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Love Thy Enemy Ch. 02

byIronDragon©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous12/01/12

Just thoughts...

... Please take them with a grain of salt. I've read the first two chapters and think there is definitely something to your writing. There's more than enough body to the story to make it fly, but I think the sex needs to be either embellished a bit more in a descriptive way or left to the imagination of the reader. To me, as it stands now, the general idea of the feeling is there but there is no heat.

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by IronDragon12/01/12

@Just Thoughts

Thanks for your input. The story itself is more geared towards romance than pure sexual heat. My apologies if the feel I was going for with the story was lost in translation. I was going for a romantic soulmate story with a twist, if that makes any sense. I just happened to set it in Mr. Roddenberry's more popular universe.

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by Anonymous12/20/12

Earth slang

I know its a bit harsh to expect a writer to come up with minute details with an alien, so I let it slide in the interest of making it easier for you: would a Romulan necessarily use a word like "Baby" as an endearment?

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by IronDragon12/21/12

@Earth Slang

Why not? They have very similar speech patterns when speaking English in the series. Honestly, outside the movies, there is very little Earth slang in Star Trek. If you read the sequel series Love And War that takes place after this one, they use quite a bit more, and I've fleshed out the characters a lot more in the new ones. Quite a few enjoy 20th and 21st century music, as fighter pilots live fast and party hard. I hope you enjoy the series as much as I enjoy writing it. :)

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