All Comments on 'My Father's Second Wife'

Why do male writers try to write from a female perspective? It makes no sense.

The grass is always more exciting on the other side of the fence. :)

We all wonder what someone else is thinking. At one time or another, we might feel we know what they are thinking. A lot of women think that they have "figured out" the male psyche. We are just as delusional as you in thinking we have you figured out. Nice story, by the way.

To add to what pontiacwhite said, when you write a story you choose the perspective from which you want to tell it. This is the perspective I chose. It is a story of discovery, and I wanted to tell it through the eyes of the person doing the discovering.

I also believe that while "write what you know" is good advice, but it's not a rule. I personally know a professional author who has written scores of YA novels, most from the first-person perspective of teen and pre-teen girls. His books are successful and popular, particularly among teen and pre-teen girls.

My f-i-l was a wealthy veterinarian from PB, FL and his daughter, (my wife) was his office manager - for thirty years! They started their sexual relationship when she started HS (seducing him, btw) and though I realized they were close, I didn't learn HOW close until we were married a few years. I was telling f/d sex scenarios in bed which guaranteed wife's orgasms. I noticed it became necessary to include f/d sex stories or f/d Literotica scenes, (such as yours here, a fine ultimate fantasy f/d tale...) which I've read to her while she soaked or I'd incorporate a story that I had memorized the plot line to and substitute her name. To this day she goes fucking NUTS with sexual excitement! I early on encouraged a no-bra/panty, short-skirt or dress only code in front of her dad, (spaghetti strap or tank top dresses making up the bulk) realizing amazing sex at night, and at first, not realizing I was assisting them in their relationship!

My epiphany occurred when she spent a weekend with her father in Mexico (Antique buying junkets together traveling in his plane since she was a teen). My wife would come home with no tan lines, and her dad had no tan lines either... I knew for the longest time they were involved sexually, but couldn't get her to admit it. It wasn't until we had two teens (b&g) and smartphone video capture sophisticated enough to record them. By then my wife was quite the exhibitionist, her main hobby staying tanned, toned..., and nude! When porn-video confronted, my wife confessed all, begging me to keep it secret. She said it would all end and her father was absolutely terrified of scorched-earth divorces, none besides risking jail, and ruining his reputation. Besides, she argued at me, wasn't she a GREAT wife who was willing to do anything as I bid, sexually? She admitted that she was VERY willing to make our own son - a 'man.' (I had been talking to her about fucking our son - also with great effect in bed - for both of us!)

She realized that her and her dad handled it wrong, but was erring on cautions side.

Since I allow her to live her hedonistic familial lifestyle, she is very happy everything is open, though not talked about too much, my wife and daughter entertain at our family pool parties, while nude. Normal barbecues don't cut it anymore...

This is well written and very erotic and not the normal trash..

I look forward to more of your writing.

Mistress Moondancer

What I mean by "not clean" is that there's a LOT of typos riddled throughout the story. It was masterfully written and featured a unique, interesting plot line- great story!- but those typos detract from it. Why? Because they cause a train-of-thought-wreck. The reader, when encountering a typo, is forced to stop and realize what word was actually supposed to be there. I noticed, in particular, some trouble with the words "quiet", "quite" and "quit." I implore you, PLEASE weed out every typo possible before submitting such wonderfully-written work! Even if it means reading through it sentence-by-sentence three times through, spectacular writing like this DESERVES to have absolutely perfect flow. In all honesty, I cannot critique a single other thing about this. Magnificent work and I look forward to seeing more!

What I mean by "not clean" is that there's a LOT of typos riddled throughout the story. It was masterfully written and featured a unique, interesting plot line- great story!- but those typos detract from it. Why? Because they cause a train-of-thought-wreck. The reader, when encountering a typo, is forced to stop and realize what word was actually supposed to be there. I noticed, in particular, some trouble with the words "quiet", "quite" and "quit." I implore you, PLEASE weed out every typo possible before submitting such wonderfully-written work! Even if it means reading through it sentence-by-sentence three times through, spectacular writing like this DESERVES to have absolutely perfect flow. In all honesty, I cannot critique a single other thing about this. Magnificent work and I look forward to seeing more!

Thanks, nightshadow, for the kind words of encouragement. Yes, I know it has some typos and spelling errors, and I was cringing while re-reading it online. I'm already working on a revised copy, and I hope to have it updated soon.

A well designed, beautifully descriptive story. Sure, there were occasional typos but the brilliance of the story won the day. I wish I could give it 6 stars.

I don't know exactly how to describe the story. Decadent, full on fetish, or maybe I should try to find new words. I liked the story and you took my focus to a few new places when it came to sex. The father certainly had a unique point of view where sex is concerned. My mind would not have gone anywhere near the sexual hi-jinks in the story.

RS

...and it needs a sequel or five, going into the adventures she has as an intern. Then onto the full blown 'assistant deal maker' position her mother had.

I'm most definitely cooking up a sequel or two, where I plan to explore the father's motivations and his curious relationships.

This will take me awhile, so please be patient.

Liked it, can't wait to read another part.

In regards to the first comment (asking why male authors write from a female perspective), I'll reply by saying that many of some of the greatest and most successful novels of all time are written from a different gender perspective than that of the author.

Frankenstein, The Scarlet Letter, Alice in Wonderland, Anna Karenina, the Portrait of a Lady, the Harry Potter series if you like those...the list goes on. :)

Loved it!

Would have given 6 stars if possible.

Thanks for this well written tale, good length. Hope to read more father daughter stories from you soon.

Absolutely awesome work!

Would give you best of best if there was such a category.....please continue to write

A very enjoyable read. I look forward to your further works. Like the fact that it really doesn't need a sequel but would support one just the same. Just wondering, is there perhaps a little influence by E L James in your writing style?

jusstahornyguy asked, "Just wondering, is there perhaps a little influence by E L James in your writing style?"

No, and I say that only because I'm probably the only one left who hasn't read Fifty Shades of Grey. But I'm flattered by the comparison.

THIS NEEDS A PREQUEL OF WIFE/FATHER

That's an excellent idea. The housekeeping has a backstory. Exploring that in a prequel would be a lot of fun. :)

I love the story and build up, and the tongue in cheek sass of the main character. Very much looking forward to more debauchery! *****

I hope you take your time writing. I can tell that this installment was well cared for. All aspects of this piece are soundly good according to my humble mind. I long for more!

btw I read an earlier comment and you are not the only one who has yet to read 50 Shades of Gray.

Keep it up.

What a roller coaster ride. I know it is only a story from the authors fantasies but I can't imagine anyone having that much power to do what ever he wants. As the scenes were described I was trying to visualize how the girls were positioning themselves to hold up, lick, suck, fuck and to position the daughter to get fucked by dad. Any way I liked the story

this was an illustrated story. I would love to see the acrobatics and gymnastics on the patio.

While I enjoyed the story, the Cirque du Soleil sex got quite confusing. I kept having to re-read and try to picture, if the Solid Gold back-up dancers picked up Char this way and bent her that way then...

yummy, I like the way your mind works!! had a hard time figuring out the acrobatics on the patio,,would have liked to have seen it!! as a previous commenter said, wish it was illustrated,,, anyway,, its all good and kinky,,lovin it and horny to boot!!

I admit I am far away from a native speaker. Nevertheless, from my perspective you proved real writing skills. I am addicted! Single words, sentences and complete structures, no kidding, you hooked me with the third paragraph. I am looking forward to read the next parts.

What a spectacle! Much beyond the norm for literotica. Thank you.

Incredible and outstandingly erotic.

Stopped reading when it was apparent this is about a whore becoming a high class whore and reading about whores is not what I like to read. Glad others like so they can have it. 1 star

So lingerie. I know you’ve never seen it in person or even on the net and are just using words that you know nothing about.

What’s a “teddy”, do you even know? Well it’s like a one piece lace bathing suit for a woman, however it has a couple of little snaps that join the crotch together right on top of the cunt. Now lace is one material, stretchy tight Lycra is another. Either way loses of coverage maybe see through but covers tits, tummy, cunt and ass and joins in the crotch.

G strings, simple underwear that has a small front coverage, minimal crotch coverage and only a string going from the waist between the cheeks and joining at the back of the crotch.

So combining these two is stupid and not really possible, well you can physically do it but it’s like wearing two pairs of knickers. You also say the g string went over the teddy, so that means the string couldn’t go between her cheeks as the crack was completely covered. It’s like putting a T-shirt over/on top of a jumper. You could physically do it but you just don’t.

Your writing about incest, an already very implausible topic to start. So that means that everything else has to be as plausible as possible to give the story some credibility and make it flow.

So hire a hooker and ask her to bring all her lingerie and give you a show and tell. She’ll do it as she’s being paid and doesn’t have to fuck, just look sexy and educate a client.

Oh and considering that a lot of rich people think they are above the law and her dad was there I’m amazed he just didn’t let them ream your ass and pussy out, leaving a nice sheen of cum around your holes just as a lesson. Waking up sore only for your dad to tell you that your loose and sore because the owner of the pumps fisted your used cunt and used the guys cum as lube.

So when you use fine details get them right or don’t use them.

Fucking Hellhiem .

A year later and I see I’m back with the same complaints about an author who write about that which they know nothing.

This story has or had a fair amount of promise and then you get to the end of page 2 and the fuckups and grating errors begin. So I pointed out some errors over a year ago and they obviously still exist because I skipped the entire story, again, to comment. Only to find that my own comment from ages ago was the last comment on this very story.

Dude, pull the story fix the errors and resubmit it. How hard can it be? I’m not being a cunt here as you are just plain wrong, in error or fucked up, whatever it is you can fix it. Yet again a teddy is just a lingerie version of a one piece swim suit and nothing else and they definitely don’t have frilly skirts. You can’t claim artistic license either as the lingerie article is a known and defined thing just like an aeroplane. If you have an aeroplane and you say aeroplane 10 times in the story then readers have for knowledge on the matter and when you start saying it can dive to a depth of 100m below the Pacific Ocean and has a 6 inch periscope readers will call bullshit and the break in the story is striking and grates and destroys the flow.

So this proves the need for an editor no matter how good you think you are as anyone can just make a mistake. If you can’t get or don’t want an editor then a method of self editing is once part or all is written then you put the story aside and forget about it, put it right out of your mind. Then a couple of weeks or so later pick it up and read it. And I mean READ IT as in read what’s actually there and not what you think is there or what you think you remember writing, no skimming and no speed reading where you chunk the sentences and skip half the words.

This way if you’ve left it long enough then you will trip over you errors and think “What was I thinking there?” And then fix it. It’s not 100% foolproof as you do remember writing the story and you do know what you meant to say or what you were meaning to get across. Also you have a lot more of the story in your head that never made it to the page and this story insider knowledge will make some parts of the written story make sense where as a editor without this background knowledge would be lost if there was a story hole and they could point that out.

So whatever. Your a lazy fuck for not fixing your story when you know there are errors. Stories like this and incomplete stories should be deleted if the author doesn’t complete them or fix them within a reasonable time frame.

And anonymous comments should be deleted where they exist and disabled so no more can be made.

By far the best part of the 4 .

The story started good but the last scene was much less about a father and daughter and just a sex scene. It was more akin to debauchery than a fantasy. I'm hoping the rest of the chapters have more depth and connectivity to them.