Nicely structured and paced.... TU for writing it.
Except the plastics part. It's a fact of modern day life, but I try to use that shit as little as possible. Part of what I savored was this story explored that ineffable attraction, a man has when his attractive woman has attractive female friends ( funny how that works ) .
You can look. You can flirt but better not touch unless .... well that's where a helluva story can start. Like this one.
Nicely written. This one goes to the heart. Please write more of these as they seem to be the appropriate style for you. TU. 5 Stars,
It was well written and had some drama, but the ending was exactly what the reader expected and wanted. That doesn't make it a bad ending, but it prevents it from becoming a really good ending. That was just way too predictable and expected. Nice story.
I could read this one over and over again. 5***********'s
Thanks for sharing.
I've read thousands of stories on this site and this story is by far the best I've read! Thak you
Great Story, you are one of the best!!!!
I just love your stories. No doubt about it, you rank up there with the best. Thank you for writing this story.
A lovely romance story, a great gift to open on the day after Christmas.
Always nice to read a morality play where the bad are punished and the good win. Predictable, but so many readers like to hear it over and over. Well written in general, but a bit too cuddly formy taste..
Also, If you don't want to use a editor, at least use spell check.
Just reread teh comment and I'm sorry if it seems snarky, it wasn't meant that way..
A distinct absence of any true-to-life characters in what was, at heart, simply another tale using an old and tired formula.
Interesting and well paced. One of the comments was that it was predictable, but for me that was ok - the good writing kept the journey real.
Moral of the story? Sounds like good pussy (as evidenced by screaming orgasms) turns off the character-screening portion of the male mind! A snapping pussy devours that part of a guy's brain (not sure of the way that actually happens!) It could make a (guy) reader thankful his Sweetie is a lackluster sex partner! WELL, it COULD! (Yeah, I'm not buying it, myself!)
No, not because it reads like a sappy Nicholas Sparks short story. I actually embrace the over-the-top playing of the reader's heartstrings. The reason I hate myself for liking it is that Dan and Lori, the moralistic hero and heroine of the story, were unequivocal cheaters themselves. Physically, no. But emotionally, what wife would not feel victimized by a husband who told her best friend that he could be her soul mate? Cheating can be on many levels, but Dan and Lori shared an intimacy, while married to others, that should be reserved only for husband and wife. And yet I truly enjoyed the story. Go figure.
A 5, you are a very very good writer.
One suggestion, you developed two of your characters completely. i would have liked to have seen more about the cheaters and why they did what they did
This story is an example of what I hope to see more often on this site! Thanks for making the effort!!
Great work and engaging story.
Interesting thing to mixmatch the sexual fantasy and sexual attraction with the cheatig. If we read good romantic erotic story that does not mean we wants to cheat on our mates or our spouse. One of my good friends told his wife he woved fidelity and blindness at the wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His saying demonstrats exactly what Dan and Lori did they attracted each others but both WERE NOT LOVE EACH OTHERS AND THERE WAS NOT SEX BETWEEN THEM. Lori lived with them for more months and Dan and Lori were likelable to each others and NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!! They said each others as 2 friends and ONLY THIS!!!!!! The Author showed with last common sex scen Dan loved his wife alone only he (and Lori) was (were) not blinds. Slirpluss's story "Big Mouth" showed in the other excellent angle this. Yes It may be cheating without sex, when the other spouse, constant mate destroys the common interests (common fortune, working relation, health status, etc..), for example the gambling/drug/alcohol/violance abusers cheat on their spouses-constans mates so!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sorry, I fix my sentence: One of my good friends told his wife he woved fidelity and no blindness at the wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cruel Revenge Story 5***** from me. Now the critics from me: The Authors several times forget to increase the level of the revenge at their Cruel or Modern Figaro Type Revenge Stories with a good Remantic Revenge Situation at the end or before the epiloge. For example here the exwife lives in same city as the Dan and Lori so an ACCIDENTALY (because the power of the surprise to obstacle for the fake mimic and body talk) meeting Dan, Lori + 2 children with happiness and the lonely or periodic dating exwife is excelent possibility for Revenge Story Authors to contrast the revenge to bigger!!!!!!!! Azpiri "shattered 03 Chapter is an excellent example for it!
Very good and excelent story and I enjoy much with the Second Chance together, I like the longer aftermath, but I am greedy a little how it would be better ..........
Exactly: Romantic Revenge Situation...............Very good revenge level increasing writer instrument: Examples:
BeerMaker "Dawn: A Cheating Slut Wife" After the fantastic Modern Figaro Type Revenge the exwife's son has not wanted to meet his biological mother for 5 years only with his NO BIOLOGICAL DAD, the exwife's daughter DID NOT INVITE HER BIOLOGICAL MOTHER FOR HER WEDDING BUT HER NO BIOLOGICAL DAD!!!!!
StangStar06 "Back on the Block Ch. 01" The exwife's parents force their daughter the exwife to go the exhusband's wedding!!!!!!!!!
MrRobur "Thy Name is Whore" After the divorce the exhusband meets the exwife and newer constant mate candidate in a restaurent and the exhusband tells the new constant mate candidate to see a place in the exwife's house, where there are hid DVDs with orgy during dating time with the new constant mate candidate. The new constant mate candidate runs away to the house (he has key) to look at DVDs.
Crazy CRYING SLUT EXWIFE IN THE RESTAURANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
once again lack of communication ruins lifes, TK U MLJ LV NV
Revenge followed by romance. Good stuff well written.
@ JonATaylor You are wrong, because this story is 1 story. The clasical revenge story consists of 4 parts: The past of the pair, the discovering of the cheating, the revenge and the aftermath. The aftermath is in a classical revenge story a succesful finding of the Second Chance woman as this is best healing from the betrayal.
Several times the finding the right woman will be the Romantic Revenge Situation against the cheating exwife...........................
2 stories in 1 as a previous poster wrote.
Both well done, thanks for the fine tale
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story.
Certainly worth 5 stars.
All is well that ends well..
I don't know if it was intentional on the author's part, but the blatant emotional adultery on the husband's part was a surprising change-up from the usual loving wives story. Because there's absolutely no way to justify that "soulmate in another universe" chatter between a man and a woman who are married to other people; that discussion and realization of such a connection is meant for and ONLY for the husband and wife. Almost all common variations of the marital vows include some variation on faithfulness, and that faithfulness is not just limited to where you stick your dick or who you kiss. It's a firm, committed and sole devotion to one's partner, with utter respect for that commitment. When you have such an emotional bond with someone you are not married to that you consider them a soulmate, you've still cheated whether you consummate that relationship or not. You can't divide your heart in two and call it faithful.
I'm sure the die-hard BTB fans won't like that a bit, but to be honest, they don't seem to like any story that doesn't allow the husband to get away with everything including mass-murder, gang-rape, theft, and any other crime under the sun. I like traditional BTB stories myself, but they've been done to death. Ignore the cucks and anti-cucks. To quote South Park, they're Jimmy and Timmeh all over again.
No rating, because I'm not sure what your intent was.
If the way I'm reading it was the way it was intended, a story about cheating on both sides of the equation, then five stars for an awesome non-standard story.
If it was a traditional low-grade BTB story, then three stars for churning out the usual "she won't give me children because she's cheating" story with nothing new to offer the vast pool of cheating/loving wives stories, and poorly written as the husband is no better than his wife.
What's the difference? Creativity is the key ingredient in a winning recipe.
Typical QHM1 story, with tangled relationships and tough situations. I don't agree with the others, it is clear that Lori and Ron had feelings for each other but I don't think they were emotionally cheating with each other, nothing they did was below board and they were careful not to get entangled in a way they shouldn't. Dan says Lori was becoming a soul mate, but the implication was they both knew where the line was, and it wasn't like Dan was freezing Jane out. Emotional cheating is when you are sharing with others things you should be sharing with your wife, and this doesn't sound like that, it sounds simply like Dan and Lori were good friends who loved each other but kept up the appropriate walls.
As far as Jane cheating with Ron, I suspect she was angry at Dan because he wanted kids and knew that Ron simply wanted to fuck, that there was no pressure with him, no having to explain abiout not having kids. Could also be that Ron convinced Jane that Dan really loved Lori or otherwise lied and told her that Lori and Dan had cheated or were planning to.......but the blame here is with Jane primarily, she lied to Dan about wanting kids, lied about the birth control and then was fucking Ron,which sounds like he thought, that she was self centered and such.
I would be interesting to see an epilog to this one, maybe from Jane's view, to see why she did what she did, did she really love Dan, or was she with him simply because she knew in the future he would be well off? Did she screw Ron because she had been told Dan and Lori were screwing around, or was it sheer lust, where she thought Dan wanted her to be mommy in mu-mu's and Ron found her sexy? And did she regret what happened, or was she resigned to it?
@ Dear Anon the puritan life rules are unsustainable principle in the modern world.
In the true life the 100% comintment may be an ideal only. I think the maximum what it must claim the lack of the physical cheating (from the blowjob to the hardcore sex, from the kiss to the anal etc.) the mutual respect and the common struggle for the family (with the children), this can give 100% mutual trust. However to say COMPLIMENT for others as Dan said to Lori (and vica versa) is agains to the PURITAN LIFE RULES, but NO CHEATING AT ALL in the modern World!
To read erotic stories by married people IS NOT CHEATING FROM THE PURITAN POV?????
They lived more months together and they knew each others almost 100% (the sex was not between them). The true life ovewrites the puritan life rules.
From a revenge story fan.
@ Cpete An clasical revenge story wants to show the readers the living well or better plote, so second part of this story is the dealing with the total emotional heal up. The problem is the Author does not use the Romantic Revenge Situation possibilti in the story. The exwife lives same town, they Dan and the exwife meet accidentaly (common friends, occasions) the Author himself writes in the story, I did not imagine it, why does not he increase the revenge. The majority of the revenge is against the loverboy (A well written Cruel Revenge) the exwife gets the leftover after the prenuptial, but no more revenge in the story. To show the total happiness with 2 children in an accidental meeting, or to write an abuser second husband (this was not omit by Matt Moreau in the "Madifan And Jessica Carlisle")or whatever something others ideas..........
You Cpete publishes on SOL (storiesonline.net), so you can read A.A.Nemo excellent revenge story there "Fiftieth Birthday". In that fantastic revenge story is everything (for example 2 romantic affairs for the betrayed exhusband), but the Author does not omit the accidental meeting with happy exhusband with the new wife and the children and the exwife.........
I wrote in the title the Hungarian way of saying: "Owl says sparrow You are big headed bird!" You wrote such way your excellent revenge stories, that the Romantic Revenge Situations were filled in your stories and the Romantic healing up from the betraying was filled TOTALY IN YOUR STORIES!!!! 3 examples
"Family Guy", "Postcards" and "Ugly American".
BTW I like very much your stories Cpete!
And you turned it into a romantic story that could easily make the transition to a Hallmark made for TV movie! Well done!
For the read.
Very well written, with excellent characterisation and development. (Two teeny points: spermatazoa are checked for 'motility', not 'mobility', and the marital agreement is called a 'pre-nup'.)
I liked it so much I C---d.
A true romance classic. Just had to get rid of the other cheating spouses to discover true love.
Ahhhh. fantasy is grand, isn't it?
A little melodramatic with the romance stuff, but I liked it. I appreciated and understood the hubby's "fuck it, it's over, and I don't want to hear about it" attitude. That said, I was curious about the wife's emotional sexual connection to hubby the night after she found out her friend was leaving. Was it motivated by guilt? Love? Fear (if so, of what?)? I thought that, maybe, the wife was going to repent, but perhaps it would be too late. But, she hops back into it on Saturday, as scheduled, with only a passing suggestion that maybe they stop, or maybe they should change locations. Frankly, I was curious about the wife's story.
I thought this was really well done, and could have used a longer treatment. While I appreciated the allusions to the growing attraction between hubby and wife's friend, I didn't quite see how she had been becoming his "soul mate." I didn't see how wife was evidently self centered (asside from the cheating and child-bearing dishonesty, of course; but hubby didn't know about that) upon hubby's reflection: she seemed like a good friend, etc. I must say that it is a sign of a good story when the reader wants more, and I did.
Really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
Naïve Wives Turn Naughty, Amazon (3 Volumes): http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-a lias%3Daps&field-keywords=jake+wittol
Naïve Wives Turn Naughty, Nook (3 Volumes): http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/jake-wittol
and I agree with BTTap
I love and hated this story. I was teary-eyed in the end. The situation of Lori's availability was not clear at first. What I mean is she could've remarried or been off the market. The situation of Dan was obvious. The love was omnipresent and the author let it hangout like the preverbial elephant in the room. Janie and Ron were despicable and got their just cold platters of revenge which could've been a little more extensive and dramatic as far as I was concerned. I enjoy a great revenge, that's just me I guess.
The central theme of Dan Lori was well adhered and well developed. I would've loved to have seen more at the end but the author was clear in the point of the magic of Dan and Lori's nuptial bliss. The emails were a magnificent touch and quite conclusive especially with Lori's colleagues intervention and Dan's reciprocity with the flower bouquets. Great story nicely done one of my favorites. Thank you for a great read!!!!
no tears but i loved the story. crazy about love stories.
Excellent writing, as always. Very engaging storyline. Very unique it how he found out and then ended the marriage. Usually I expect more closure when a marriage ends, expecting the cheating spouse to beg, plead and suffer. While that didn't happen here, her relative silence and quick exit fit perfectly with your description of her. You set it up perfectly - usually hard to do in such a short story. That takes skill.
While it is entertaining to read a BTB story Dan's reaction would be more like real life. Yes there is heartache. Yes there are feeling of inadequacy that would surface. Yes there would be feelings of immense loss and anger.
Not hiring a private detective would be more like real life as well as most guys I know of can't afford one and most states don't give a damn if there was cheating done or not anyway so it is a complete waste of time and resources just to get evidence that tortures the heart further.
All in all I give kudo's (and 5 stars) to a well written piece that more accurately portrays a real life crisis and solution. Great job, Q. Keep it up and most of all keep writing.
A excellent storyline and a well written story.
A lot of heart felt emotions are writen into this story and the author has brought out all of the hurt and anguish that the characers felt.
Thanks for the good read.
and despite the fact the ending was predictable, I liked it. However I AM really struggling with this Janie character because you let us readers be completely clueless. There was not the slightiest hint why she did what she did, not even a giveaway. Some preceding commenter tried to find some reasons but I am not really pleased with it and to say she was a stupid woman ist just not enough for me. Unfortunately you even decribed Dan as a very good lover. Because it is a very well written story with a good emotionel background I already edited it to my satisfaction - like I do with a lot of stories - that I could give you five stars.
Thanks for writing and sharing it with us.
It's certainly nice to get away from all the garbage posted on this site lately. Keep up the good work. Cheers.
That was well-written, enjoyable and had a good ending - a love story in fact. Well done and please write more.
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