All Comments on 'Honey, We Have to Talk'

This is a story that should be handed to everyone who is thinking about cheating. The consequences are always greater than a few seconds of pleasure. I truly hope this was not written from personal experience.

I can't believe a woman can be as stupid as the cheating whore skank slut wife was in this tale. The husband gave her every opportunity to back out and reclaim their marriage. Stupid cunt went through with her tryst anyway and couldn't believe her husband wanted a divorce. Fucking idiot. I also hope this tale is fiction.

Damn

Are you kidding? OF COURSE it's fiction! It reads like a by-the-numbers version of hundreds of other Lit stories in which the wife has an iq that doesn't match room temperature, the husband is a really good guy (with a much bigger dick than the lover) who wins all the way down the line. The only 'slight' difference is that he doesn't yet have sex with the lover's divorced wife.

Written in an unemotional and therefore uninvolving way, it's a poor, formula story.

Like all familiar old tunes.... Just about every cliché in the book here but it was fun.

The declaration near the end that his life would be better without Barbara is a reference to the favorite question of a therapist or a good friend, but it does seem strange because he has not had time to reach this point... TU author

Finally a protagonist that doesn't act like some love struck 10 year boy! I do not know too many MEN that would be "heart broken" if their wife was about to cheat on them. Pissed, yes, crying in their coffee NO! Get the goods on her, and make them pay as much as possible without getting yourself in trouble. The end. (If kids are involved then it is a whole other story. Having some cheating ass destroy your family and harm your kids is heart breaking. What's worse is that there are not many ways to "win" in a situation like that. No matter what the kids have a cheating slut for a mother that cares more about some other guy than her family. The best scenario is that she dies in a car wreck on the way to getting fucked. Even better if the scumbag dies with her. Then the kids can mourn for their mother and never know she chose cock over them.

How did she get in the house when she got back. He changed the locks.

You finally got it right, ive read some of your other stories and they were trash but this one was really good, hope you keep up the good work....

This is the way this should work out but rarly does. Cheaters get so caught up in the moment and don't think. If anyone get in the way of there plans they want to blame everyone else to justify what their doing. He sounds like he would be more fare about the divorce than I would.

Even better writing. Thanks

I like the theme, even though the dialogue was formulaic. But the author misused the word "coarse" which means rough, when the author meant "course," which means direction, path, as "choosing a new course" for my life (or my boat). There were other writing mistakes as well, and even though this is not Shakespeare Theater, one can become distracted by these mistakes. Thanks for writing.

A good attempt in the britease style - very matter of fact british

This story has a lot going for it....If you love me let me do it...I will do it anway.....Tells her he has an open marriage. Great, a few of the Lit authors can handle this theme, Nakdsub Rhein1 and cpete to name a few.

The parts about sending all sorts of stuff to their hotel love nest was funny. Keep up the good work.

this is the anger fantasy of a teenager. not well written, extremely illogical.

"my wife wants to cheat on me. I'll show her with my magical electronic skills against her stupidity and her lover's arrogance."

And of course the lover has a little dick; and he must be a moron to have the wife tell her husband what she planned to do.

Everything about this story sucks.

Chop shop story built in scavengence' mode. The author pleased the audience , he wanted to please. So one could term this story a success by those standards. This read like post-concussion Britease with Stang's insensibilities. Regardless, the show must go on. Deny the lions, their meat & things will get ugly at the Literotica zoo.

The story line was been done before, many times, in LW. And, it can be a compelling one. Here, the execution made rendered it poor.

A few criticisms (intended to be helpful):

There was no reason to have dialogue in both and itallics. Just use quotation marks and indicators properly, and the story will be readable.

There were no twists or turns to differentiate this story from the dozens of others with the same basic story line. That can be okay if the story is chock full of emotion and drama....

But this one wasn't. A couple of times the narrator's angst almost comes through in an authentic way, but never quite gets there. The wife's emotions are mostly hidden from us, due largely to her....

Incoherent babbling (aka: dialogue). She comes off as incredibly dense, with no deeper emotional life. I'm not sure why she loves hubby, why she 'needs' to sleep with the co-worker, or anything else about her. For that matter, I'm not really sure I get why hubby loves her-we are just told that he does. Having characters repeatedly tell the readers and other characters that they love their spouse is a poor substitute for showing that they do.

I will note that a couple of content errors also occured-protag called in sick to work for a couple of days, and then....went to work? Distracting.

This was a paint-by-numbers story, but then you consistently painted outside the lines.

all cheaters should be tossed out there is no making up bullshit

to write dialogue properly, or to learn to write it properly. You made up a scheme using italics and bold. Imagine the pickle you'd be in if there were four or five speaking characters in this predictable tripe. You would have to use colors and underscores and who knows what else. Too bad school was such a waste of time for you. You had no idea back then that you would want to write something forty years later. You, and all of us, are paying the price for your laziness back then.

...for a reason. Use quotation marks instead of italics and bold. The latter are nothing but distractions to the reader.

this is not good enough

3 starrs

why be suprised when the results dont match the wants. TK U MLJ LV NV

Stupid and stubborn. That was the dual combo that led to this simple cow's destruction.

He warned her over and over, and gave her every possible chance to not do this thing which no man with a spine and a set of testicles would put up with. Her headstrong response was to selfishly ignore his warnings and proceed with her own selfish wants.

That she did not really love him is self evident. When you truly love someone, you put that person's wants and desires ahead of your own. She clearly failed that test in a spectacular manner. He's much better off without her.

Four stars. Good job.

Complete and total GARBAGE!

Barb is the true central character of the story's plot. I can't fathom a loving wife becoming so completely stupid and falling for a married co-worker's line of bull shit without doubting anything. Because she was so stupid and pig headed she spent a fuck fest weekend with a man that didn't begin to measure up to her own husband.

Which her fuck toy proved to her again and again, but she was unable to stop herself from committing the dumbest thing she had evver done in her life. Why didn't she leave early when the sex was so bad ? Why was it a surprise to realize the her husband knew all about her plans, obtained audio and video of her liason, and after he had repeatadly told her before she went she would destroy the marriage that when she finally came home she had destroyed her marriage and that of her lieing fuck toy. ?

The bad news ... As previously pointed out by several, this was boiler-plate, formula, cookie-cutter in most aspects.

The good news ... I loved the stuff sent to their room to interrupt the tryst, not that common a factor. Tericd DID forget to send up a three-pak of SLIM-FIT rubbers. Or a checkerboard (for the bored!)

More bad news ... Unfortunately, the good news (above) does NOT jibe with any of hundreds of hotel/motel rooms I have reserved over the past umpteen years. A) The Bull had NO reason to specify a certain room be reserved. B) Hotels never specify a room number when a reservation is made! There are good reasons for this, especially if they know the occupants plan to show up at earliest check-in time. Rooms are assigned at physical check-in from those rooms which meet guest specifications AND which have been serviced already and ARE ready!

Therefore, Hubby could NOT pre-arrange the stuff in the room. He COULD have had the bouquet sent to Frank X's room and the front desk would have sent it up with a bell-boy. However, Bull could then call down to insist he NOT be disturbed. Thus, the pizza and sammie would have been intercepted.

It is also hard to imagine much of Sweetie's subsequent pleadings would have taken place. There were excessive warnings and displays of affect BEFORE the tryst. Besides, how unlikely is it for the fucking to start at a weekend 'vacation' planned for JUST that purpose (as opposed to an already established convention!)

3*

Superb! Captures the fine nuances of a totally dumb bitch who just so happens to be bi-polar with a split personality to boot. Good reading: maybe; plausible: not a chance...

For sharing.

I read this story this morning thinking no woman could be that clueless about how a guy would feel about an offer like she made, when a good friend of mine called me and told me his 30 year old son just had the exact thing happen to him. He (the son) is married to a knockout and they have 2 preteen kids and she tells him she wants to spend 4 days with her new boy friend and would he watch the kids. He had no clue and is devastated and she is mad he won't cooperate. He is begging her to not do it (she will be traveling 200 miles to see her bf), and my friend is worried his son is going to do somethin stupid to himself (not to her). The son hacked into her computer and found the evidence that the fling has been going on for 2 months. I told my friend to see if he can get his son to a divorce lawyer and make a plan as to what to do if she goes.

So many cliches in this one that I wonder if it was meant to be LW satire. The only thing original was the pepper spray in her underware.

Enjoyed this author's version.

I appreciate the effort, but there were simply too many problems with this story. You had the germ of a good idea, but need to work out the details to sell the story to the reader.

Here are some comments:

1. Once she announced her intention, the relationship should have been over - regardless of whether she would change her mind and not follow through on her plan. The husband's response is puzzling: "I also came to the conclusion that if she went through with this we were finished." Once she revealed her intention she revealed her heart. She didn't love him, and had already committed to being a cheat. End of story. Even if she didn't go through with her plan, she showed tremendous disrespect and lack of commitment. Of course, later in the story you have him telling his wife that he decided that night to divorce her regardless of her actions. This appears to be a contradiction.

2. Why pepper spray her panties? This was not well thought out. The whole point of wiring the room was to get proof of the adultery for his divorce and law suit. The pepper spray thing could have prevented that from happening by thwarting their efforts to have sex. The husband lucks out in that she fucks him before putting the sexy lingerie on.

3. After she leaves for the weekend he has all the locks changed on the house. When she returns she just walks in. I guess he could have left the door unlocked, but this seems a bit odd. Then after he bags her stuff and places it outside she comes home and walks right in the house. Again, he could have held the door open for her. However, why include the detail about changing the locks if she is never actually locked out?

4. The wife character was too one dimensional. When reading her dialogue i could not help but think of the teacher in the old Peanuts cartoons. She says little, contributes nothing to the conversation, lacks any discernible emotion, and no one has an idea what she looks like. She is background noise at best. He speaks for a whole paragraph, followed by one sentence from her. She came off very unconvincing. If you want to communicate emotion through your story, if you want them crying in the end just like the husband, you need more depth and character development.

5. Too unrealistic. He gave every indication that if she followed through, it would destroy the marriage. And yet she follows through, and acts surprised by the divorce.

I hope you take my comments in the spirit offered. Your story inspired me to write a lot, so I definitely see potential.

Have your friend divorce her ass. Why is he waiting to see if she goes through with it? He already knows she cheated for two months, and obviously has no love, concern or respect for her husband.

with a guy whose wife speaks to him...in italics.

But, you write and reason like a child.

Still. I read it all, thanks!

Keep trying!

Hey dude, if your friends son is mentally unbalanced, someone needs to help him go on(and with two teens) and stand for himself.

The SAME crap happened with a friend of mine nearly ten years ago.Their kids dont talk to her even now... stupid slut.Lost the whole family because of a week fucking her boss.

The format the author used was different, and wasn't distracting to this reader, but in my way of thinking, it was more trouble than using quotation marks.

It certainly made it easy to read, and the story was interesting.

Thanks for the read.

It seems like WHite Guys are either cock sucking, cum slurping cucks or they are pathetic miscreants totally obsessed with guarding the wife's pussy from the cocks of other men! These are actually just opposite extremes of the same thing. Its polarity.

At the root of the thing is the fact that White Guys grow up being fed lies and clinging to their delusions of superiority and grandeur. However, as they grow up, all these pathetic guys have got going on is that they have a cute MILF WIfe. So, they either become totally slavish to her and treat her like their goddess and let her do everything she wants, just to keep her. Or, they turn into obsessive, fixated, desperate pussy guarders.

The problem is that the WHite Male is basically flawed, weak, insecure, self loathing and fucked up. He can only exist as a tyrant or a slave. Either he happily sucks other man's cum from his wife, or he guards her pussy in a militant, vigilant, obsessive manner! The funny thing is that the pathetic pussy guarders consider themselves to be heroes. i guess White Guys just use anything they can to fan their delusions of grandeur and superiority! Oh well, everytime I fuck a married WHite MILF, I wonder, if her husband finds out, will he want to suck my cock, or will he wanna run up in my crib like his name was Search Warrants, and start shooting up the place like it was the Dark Knight Rises premier.

I guess the same pathetic BS could be said about someone like the Anon below that feels he has to come to a sight like this and brag annonymously about fucking married pussy. What you'll really notice is he just wants his dick sucked by the guy.

If copied from several stories presently on this site, with the same title, at least you changed the characters names, hotel room number, and bar scene.

With a real good one. Welcome back PS you owe us some stories :)

The wife was up front at least in her favor but her comprehension skills were non existent. The author had great description and emotion. The story seemed to entail the conversation of a husband and wife discussing her intrigue over her sex with another man. The husband pleas his non-acquiesence while the wife fumbles arrogantly and forthrightly with no remorse.

Why is this horrible nasty story here?

The only good news about this submission is that it got more serious criticism than any I can remember - the truth is that the story was completely unoriginal, the characters conventional and unconvincing, and the dialog impossible. I don't think that once one starts with the wife proposing to sleep with another man the story can be rescued unless the husband does something other than feel sorry for himself and seek revenge. A couple of good twists would (1) make the story readable, and (2) irritate the bulk of LW devotees whose idea of a story involves hurting dumb women.

The wife had no brains, no decency, no humour-nothing that would make a real person. She was just a caricature. It would help the story a little to give her at least a little intelligence.

he didn't let her get away with it, good for him

I think that some of the critics are too hard on you. I have to partly agree that the wife's character is a little...well, hard to believe. After she got all of the warnings even a total ditz would have said, "Ok, dear" and then did it behind his back. But on the bright side, your writing is technically very good. Great use of dialog and the strategy you used to distinguished her statements from his was creative. My review is a little mixed but it is a credible effort and you have talent. Keep writing. Also, almost no states have alienation of affection lawsuits. Maybe four or five and I don't think anyone files them in those states but I could be wrong about that; there might be a few.

That's how you get rid of a stupid cheating skank wife. This was my second read and I liked it more now than the first time.

You´ve done a great job here. I really enjoyed reading it. Give us more of this! 5 Stars.

In yor dialogue with her you kept narrowly divulging your plans, she had to know your intent. If you really wanted her to make a decision based on Love, you screwed it up with your constant nattering.

At any rate, the story was good, just a little juvenile with the line of bickering, not adult or mature in any sense.

Just wanted to give you some food for thought, keep writing but don't be so childish with your encounters, talk and conduct yourself as an educated, grown adult.

Thanksagain,,,good effort!

The wife was not very realistic. Not many people are truly that stupid.

i like it well enough but rare to get you want that easy.but still a good read.

Since he had changed the locks when she left...how could she come back in on sunday? As you stated: he didn´t even acknowledge her return as she walked in...

Nevertheless..I liked it very much.

Lots of people leave their doors unlocked during the day.

Hi there love this story how about a follow up to it as it has stopped very open ended. thank you so much.

Cheers Owen

I think the second time around I think I like the style. Made it pretty easy to follow.

As for the story, if you're BTB member it worked. But really, are there any people out there that stupid? He should have just packed his bags and left after the announcement. But then there would be no story, right? Unless you want to write about 2 miserable people. And who wants to read about that? Yes there are better stories, but this one was just another take by a decent author.

I agree with EgoTrixi on the lock thing, also If it's his house why give her half. It's his house, fuck her. 4stars

Blowjobs are not high on the list of kinky sex, so it seems farfetched that she would not give him a blowjob. If she complied as expected, would he really forgive her and resume their marriage? If so, he's a dimwit. And if he knew from past experience that she doesn't give blowjobs, then he should have gotten a new sex partner long ago.

its always best to maintain as many options as possible. TK U MLJ LV NV

This story had a total lack of vision and emotion. I rated very high but it had serious flaws. For one thing, why didn't he have a very very serious conversation with the skank beforehand. Divorce divorce divorce.He should have said it a thousand times over before the weekend. The stupid bitch thought she was very aerodite and special that he'd just have to go along with it. That stupidity made this story work. His stupidity detracted from the story seriously ...when he agreed to half the house? Obviously there are rampant plausibility issues but this is a work if fiction after all. He also could've waited at the door and through her cases in the street when her lover arrived and brought attention to all the neighbors to the cheating skank.

I've never understood why so many of these stories involve the husband hooking up with the wife of the man who fuck his wife and destroyed his marriage. I can't think of anything worse than spending my life married to a woman with the baggage of being the ex-spouse of the guy who managed to destroy my marriage. It's literally a slap in the face every morning you wake up next to her, no matter how stunningly stunning hot she is.

Oh yeah. Lay off the word stunning as well. It loses impact after the first time. If the cheating whore simply got over "being stunned" the first time like it was nothing, went ahead and cheated anyway, she clearly was not stunned, because stunning entails a realization that you are fucking up. Being stunned over and over again means the guy is a fucking idiot who married a half-wit.

thats the funniest revenge story Ive ever read. great!

Open up a big olde can of WHOOP ASS on her and get rid of the cheating slut. Good story. Well written.

retarded eunuchs - spoon feeding this tripe to illiterate imbeciles who have no gonads is admirable in a perverse way.

Carry on.

Learn what quotation marks are for and try using them. This is almost as bad as I/you stories.

Don't do that bold/italics crap anymore.

I think being totally over the top is great, so I gave it a 5; of course I have to believe that in real life no woman is that stupid, but this isn't real life any more than a James Bond movie, it is?

Well, you know the difference between a cheating wife and a light bulb don't you?

No, what is it?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

It's funny because it's true.

5 Stars.

@ Not white Anon The sperm detection home infidelity tests are brand new invents, which the labor diagnostic industry introduced. Some tests detect prostate antiganes so the vasectomised loverboy's sperm could be detected well in the holes, bodies and cloths of cheating wives. Clueless husbands attention the creampies are detectabled.

BTW I used infidelity kits in my two stories on SOL.

Putting the character's words in bold face or italics does not help! Italics make the speaker look weak while bold face looks like shouting. This affects the story negatively.

The plot was stupid. No woman or a man would ask their spouse that they were going to cheat need their permission. Tthe sending of flowers etc was unique but unlikely in real life.

Overall the story sucks

Kudos to the author.

Extremely well written fun story. Thank you!!!

5 stars..... Like the comment no woman or man would do this... really... watch Dr. Phil ..... read the advice columns lately... To be honest with the price of gold, I would have shown her the rings smashed in a zip lock baggie,, to prove there is no coming back.. its over.

well done.

I really liked this story! Good writing! Loved the way he really got back at his selfish, self-seeking, stupid, cheating slut wife! Great job!

Quite frankly, I loved the touch of waiting until just before Frankie plumbed her cunt and having the flowers, the pizza, the sandwiches and all, delivered to their room door, making them stop, answer the door and screwing up their fuck session, so many times in a row! What a gas that was to read! :)

As for "anonymous'" ravings about how stupid a cheating partner would be, asking their faithful spouses permission to fuck their new lover; anonymous has some learning to do, I guess. Hope it isn't the hard way!

I've known well, several women, just that nit-witted stupid! Can think of a couple more local women I know, just as ignoranrt, right now!

Outside of going back through and doing a very clean and thorough spell-check and grammar sentence structure check, doing good proofing before you post another story here, I'd say the way you wrote this out, the dialog in bold font or italics, really made this an easy read and this was a very good, well written story, regardless! :)

I'm going to note your authors handle name, so I can read any other stories you have already written, or may write in the future!

This story was well thought-out, very fun and quick, good and easy reading!

Thank you!

Would have liked more details about little Frank's destruction.

closet cucks eat this shit up, guys with 'nads piss on this kinda crap. Story is just an immature fantasy for insecure virgins.

Stupid fucking cunt. Women who think with their twat's usually wind up divorced and alone. Wow, that's pretty profound. I amaze myself sometimes.

what closet did you come of cuckboy

But the dialogue sounded too trite and unemotional.

it seems a crime to be able to know one another that well. Or Not. TK U MLJ LV NV

It was had a straight and simple plot ... The story telegraphed where it was going then slowly went there . So prototypical of other cheating wife stories. She is dumb, he is clever, he is a saint she is a hell bent on sinning, he is loyal as a hound dog she is a treacherous bitch (yawn) Character development was minimal. neither character was delightfully evil nor very likable. I would not cross the street to have a beer with either one of them. I kept looking for the twist that would make it the story special, or at least interesting, but it never came.

Funny how she says, "If you love me you'll let me do this," but it never occurs to her that if SHE loved HIM she wouldn't even THINK of doing it, let alone do it.

Great story!

If I had a wife that was so dumb , then I think I would have divorced her before getting married!!

At least it wasn't the husband this time. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one fed up with plots that require someone to be brain dead for it to work!

You have a good theme for your story, but do you EVER read what you write? You suck as a writer! You leave out letters in words and you need to learn how to use to. As in, TOO MUCH, TOO LITTLE, or TOO SERIOUS. It's not TO MUCH OR TO LITTLE or TO SERIOUS. Either learn the language or get someone else to proof read what you write.

and now it's Piper Time. TK U MLJ LV NV

Well, I think that to get in your spouse's face and demand that they let you cheat on them and be happy for you calls for this level of stupidity. I know that this is a persistent theme in the LW category, as it would be if there was a LH category, but I can't imagine there being a story if someone wasn't monumentally stupid.

Also, I don't think that the "if you love me you will let me do this" is such a reach. I would bet that most of the people who try to get their spouses to go along with a decidedly one-sided cheat think that they are so loved that the cheated will forgive them anything. Unless they could care less what the spouse thinks. In that case, different scenario. Loving some people unconditionally seems to empower them with god-like or Teflon-like power to do anything they want. Consequences don't stick to them. I liked the story, but my marriage would have been over before they even left town, absolutely. And their happiness and good health would have been in jeopardy.

He did the right thing, no wimpy stuff. BTB. I would not have been as fair on the split of funds.

to bad there wasn't a second chapter

Tericd, you wrote an interesting, and sometimes humorous story. One suggestion I would make for your future stories is this: when Barb realized how badly she had screwed up, there was no transition in her change of mind. I would suggest you give that more detail next time. In your story, she was defending what she did one second, then suddenly she realized she had trashed everything. More detail into how she got from denial to reality would help.

Well written though some parts were a little farfetched. Still it was fun.

Thank you and please keep writing.

You know, the wife here should be ecstatic. She fucked her guy and now she can fuck anyone she wants. Oh, but there's a problem. Her husband was a man who believed in wedding vows and didn't take kindly to her extra-marital indulgence. So now basically the cunt can go fuck herself.

ha

...you quoted at the beginning: "I went back to my house and changed all the locks and the garage door code. I grabbed the suitcase I had already packed then drove to KC."

So: HOW DID SHE GET BACK INTO THE HOUSE? If he allowed that, then: WHY THE LOCKCHANGE?

Yes, this story went right to the point. (This wife almost reminded me of a stangstar wife...stupid). I don't recall how long they were married but doesn't she know her husband at all? How did she think that he was going to accept this bullsh*t. I think this stupid wife got more than she deserved in the divorce...he was too generous. I know I have asked this before, but are there really women this stupid out there? I have a hard time believing that. I believe that there are cheaters out there but to tell your mate that you are going to take a lover??? Thank You for an enjoyable and entertaining story.

This is the fantasy of the loser whose Sweetie does EVERYTHING exactly wrong whole Hubby is saying and doing EVERYTHING exactly right! Life is never that kind to losers! Hell, life is not even that kind to winners!

What else makes for a crappy read is that Sweetie cannot muster more than one rationale for fucking around ... "Hubby should love me enough to let me shit on him!". That got boring very quickly. Make the Vixen more imaginative!

2*

There are like 3,000,000,000 guys on Earth... she can STILL fuck like 2,999,999,999 of them... just not the single one she stupidly professes to love.

"I need this and if you love me you'll let me do this." ...???

How about answering that with "I love you and if you love me you'll be ok with me REFUSING to let you do this." ...?

What is with that type of argument...? It's like, "I love you and if you love me you'll let me..." Do cocaine? Heroine? Drive while drunk? Kill little children? Butcher your parents...?

Who's really stupid enough to think that starting a sentence like that makes it automatically become true...?

Seems a more accurate question would be, "I love ME and if you loved YOU little enough you'd let me do this."

She decided to have a little tryst with some loser she had met. So at the appointed time I decided to take her worst enemy on the planet and screw her brains out on the bed that we had once shared. And then every time she was not around me I screwed anything that moved.

Finally I met someone that I liked and married her. I rubbed the cheating cunts nose in it and have now been married for 25 years to the greatest woman on earth.

Oh and bye the way I made sure that the cheating cunt got to know about it all. Every other woman, every other time that she thought she was getting away with something. And what a great day we had on our wedding.

She is now in her 60's and still alone. Life is hard then you die. DEAL WITH IT!

Not too awful for a 14 year old writer. If you are an adult, try fishing or bowling instead. What's wrong with this turd? Everything! Characters, dialog, plot; all completely and tiresomely wooden. Absolutely without the spark of life or believability. Not even self-consistent. Did you ever read it through after you spewed it out? It at least has to keep the same set of facts and character attitude from one paragraph to the next. I don't care if you want to BTB or RAAC; just write with life and meaning. This mess is excrement.

Don't think like it's real life. This was though up (A STORY)

As one commentator said "juvenile writing" that a 14 year old would be ashamed of and so bitter...