All Comments on 'Bee and David Ch. 01'

Sounds familiar.

please update soon, love the beginning

Good start.

I love it! You're doing a fantastic job with this story! I love the characters, please maintain Bee's sweet, non-confrontational disposition! Great job!

I love it.....

I am curious as to

1. Why is the white guy in here married.

2. Why do I get the sense that the guy is using her as expensive "tail". He takes her to a lavish hotel while he's married. He says the hotel is fit for a queen.

3. David knows right away that he's going to get into Bees pants which tells me that this is not the first time he's cheated on his wife.

4. Although I like Bee because she seems sweet but this looks like a case where an older man gets to take advantage of a young black woman without really trying to do right by her. Why does he have to be married and what makes him think that she is even interested in older guys or white guys for that matter? Are you going to write from her point of view? I'd love to see what you come up with. I also want to see how this story goes. In the end is he supposed to leave his wife for the black woman or more than likely let the black woman go because he's too scared to allow his attraction to the woman flourish, or the age comes into question. Anyhow. Good luck on this story and although I'm not to thrilled at the known facts of the story so far, I will entertain the idea that the story may come out some what decent.

Promising debut.

Five.

needs a little editing to expand but its really cute. Can't wait to read more...

couldn't have put it better myself!!!

I liked it a lot UNTIL Navaura got me thinking >;l sheesh.

While I liked the story; I had pretty much the same questions as Navaura.

Black women have gotten shitty press for years and it ain't right. What was that saying? Good enough to bed, but not wed.....in the eyes of some here in the U.S, still a valid notion.

I agree also with writing from Bee's perspective and let's make her less country fresh and more urban savvy. The reality is that most sistahs know "the deal" well before eigthteen even if they choose not to mess with "the deal" before then. Give her some substance in the next the chapter.

The other thing is why do white men continue to put us on the exotic list. We're women with the same desires, hopes, and dreams, although more often than not more challenged to fulfill them. While difficult to surmount; we remain queens in our own right.

Looking forward to the new chapter and happy new year.

Ok I'm liking it thus far. Keep going.

Nicely underplayed. I never really see these stories as being about "white people" or "black people" (the generalisations always pertaining to America anyway) but rather the individuals involved. She could be blue for all I care - I'm just interested in the fact she is hot :D What a naughty chap being tempted when he is married, but then again, there is no sin in thought.

Love how the readers get to tell the writer what to write and in the first freakin chapter. I thought this was erotica writing site not the Black Panthers and I'm black for goodness sake. Wow I just found the comments way much. I think the point of the site is for people to post their own stories (aside from the rampant plagiarism) but if you have that many issues w/the story how about WRITING YOUR OWN.

I for my part am interested to see the character development. Thus far I find it interesting. I'm curious to know the deal w/David. What's his story?

so freaking good so far