All Comments on 'no she said'

and her actions outweighed the words. TK U MLJ LV MV

Nice idea, and reasonably erotic poem. Thanks !

but your choice of imagery and your rhythm needs some improvement especially in the last verse.

'She grabbed hold of my ass cheek' is a terribly clumsy line,

and 'into my pants' twice is a bit unimaginative.

and 'doing wonderful things doesn't scan quite right or sound right

A better last verse, I humbly suggest, would have been something like -

'Her hands had also

wandered,

one gently traced

down my spine

squeezed under

the elastic line,

and cupped a buttock,

where it pawsed.

The other led a soft

frontal assault

under and down

where her feather tips,

like little ants,

crept slowly

into my pants.

"Ohhhh....No, No", I smiled.

"Oh yes, yes",

she whispered.

----- we say ! Initial reluctance converted to full-fledged arousal as manly enthusiasm overcomes maidenly resistance !!