All Comments on 'The Missing Dragon Ch. 03'

As always fantastic. I have been logging in periodically for the last few days waiting for this story to be available. Good luck with your novel. Let us all know when you have finished it. :)

Just like ksin, I've been reloading your submission page since I saw your status update, just waiting for your story to publish. It certainly did not disappoint! It was a great continuation of the story, and I can't wait to see where you take it next. I just hope that the next chapter doesn't take 8 months to complete :P

That being said, I would much prefer a complete story that takes a while to get finished then one you half-assed to get out early, so I say take as much time as you need. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in this, and in all of your stories. Good luck with the writing!

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. I have the feeling it will be very exciting.

As always, anticipating reading whatever you churn out next.

On a parting note, love that you name dropped Lady Winter.

Another enjoyable chapter, always glad to see another update to this series.

Really interesting to see the plot thicken about Gregory, nice to see that his presence in the world is more unique than we would have thought. It's also an intriguing link to the whole 'dragon' theme as you expound on your world's history and current affairs.

The action this chapter was quite entertaining, though seeing Gregory get his ass kicked wasn't as fun as seeing him thrash an orc (albeit an out-of-shape one). It does raise one's hopes though to see that he's about to train with Algra, who's already been shown to be one of the best warriors, the orcs have ever seen.

On another note, I have to admit that I was really disappointed that Talina slept with and ended up with Torren. After her whole 'You're my master' spiel, I'd thought that she'd stay true to Gregory.

I'm also curious as to what happened to Gregory's teeth, you mentioned that some were knocked out by the bash to his face, though nothing after was said. Did Valise's potions regenerate them?

Also glad to see that you've gotten yourself an editor, though you might want to go through the first few pages in your chapter since I noted a few missing words and grammatical errors here and there. Nothing that detracted from your story though.

As always, looking forward to your next chapter.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter of the Missing Dragon. I'm also hoping you revisit The Defiled Temple and Aphrodisia. Your writing style and imagination are thoroughly enjoyable!

Another great chapter. The story is developing in a definitely interesting way and I cannot wait to see how more of it turns out. I love the personalities of the characters so far and i look forward to seeing more of their development.

Been waiting so long for this chapter hopefully the next one wont take so long but i love it

Would have liked more sex, but hey, you can't have everything. I really hope the next chapter doesnt take as long. Youa re one of my faveorite authors on Lit. And definately can't say your chapters are too short. :P

Seriously, every new Missing Dragon Chapter tells us more, and I love it!

The reason that I loved this chapter so much was because you showed that Greg did have his weaknesses and wasn't a complete god of war that could win every battle, yet you also showed us that he might not be completely human...

Seriously though, the Proving was brutal. You described the fight in a great way, and the injuries in such a way that it made you wince...and honestly, I didn't think I would enjoy reading about his surgery as much as I did. But it was interesting, and well written. I'm not saying that it thought me how to perform surgery, but it was well done!

You also gives us some more insight in the side characters, such as Talina and Valise. During the surgery I had half expected Valise to be a surgeon from our world, who had picked up alchemy during her stay in Arolius. But her actual origins were far more mysterious...and really? How the elves exile their own? I have to admit, that clipping their ears seems like a good punishment. Only...how the hell can you take away an elf's immortality and magic? Please tell me that that will be explained in the future...

As for Talina?

She's still a mystery...

I guess she is some sort of spy posing as a courtesan,

But only time will tel... I did like the fact that she and Torren ended up together, it's good for both of them. ;)

Also, I like how Janette is getting into her role as courtesan. I wonder if Talina will teach her other things as well...perhaps she can be the Rogue to Algra's Warrior? :P

But you do some more worldbuilding as well, you tell about the First, the relationship between humans and orcs and how they are fighting demons...the second thing especially made me want to hate Ulag a little less for being such an ass, you bastard Lien! Why can't you just make me quietly hate some of your characters. But nooo, you have to make them relatable and have faults and all that stuff! : P

In all seriousness, that makes him a more interesting character. ; )

All in all, I'm looking forward to seeing chapter 4. I want to know who Talina really is, I want to know of Valise's past, I want to see Greg train with Algra and beat those damn Beserkers! And finally, I want to see more of the world...and figure out just who set Freddie free. Perhaps it was the same person who was watching them in the stream?

5/5 stars, and I'm not so patiently waiting for chapter 4.

I look forward to your next work.

-Risax.

PS: I loved how you had Torren reference your Lady Winter, but it just makes me wonder all the more which of your universes are connected and in what way. Will we see the Defiled Temple showing up on Greg's journey for example?

Once again great job with the chapter, but I am disappointed with the whole Torren arc though.

I am so pleased that you have blessed us all with this new chapter.I realize that you have a life,but I can't not urge you to continue with this as soon as is possible. I am selfish that way.Thanks to you,I eagerly await the next installment.

WTH Talina says that Gregory is her master and then she turns around and sleeps with Torren. Pfft disappointting :(

I haven't even Started reading this yet, but I'm going to go ahead and say

THANK YOU for another entry in your Great story!

I've been impatiently waiting for ages!

(There goes my weekend)

:D

Hm...this chapter seems more about setting up future plot-points rather than advancing the plot. I liked how you made Gregory seen more realistic, how although he's got at hand-to-hand fighting, he's not fit for real combat yet. Not really much constructive criticism I can give about this one honestly. Maybe 1 or 2 grammar mistakes (ex: He'd had quite a few fantasies...) but not really much else.

@people who are disappointed that Talina chose Torren even though she called Gregory her master:

Just because you serve somebody doesn't mean you have to be in love with them (ex: king and spymaster). Gregory hasn't really done anything "worth" falling in love with for Talina and vice-versa. Imo, they seem like really good friends/friends with benefits. Sure, they enjoy each others company and the sex is great, but there's no deep love between them.

Oh gods, the energizer bunny line!

Made my Friday soooo much better!

Actually, the Energizer line is even funnier once you remember the phrase "rutting like rabbits".

Very much for the wait. Also re: Talina and Torren, remember that Master is applicable in more than the Dom/sub context. Talina is Greg's property by right of combat, not by willing sexual submission.

Beautiful!

I'm glad to see another chapter of your wonderful story! I was very happy with the first, and even more with the second, and the third is just as good. You do a great job of not only writing a hot, sexy read, but one with a very good plot as well.

Keep up the great work!

first thing first, Chapter #3, Finally! lol. OK that's out of my system.

Wonderful work Lien Geller, I love these sorts of long, multi-paged, multi-chapter stories, you have a wonderful talent for creating a colorful world, then putting it into writing and it shows.

That being said however, I did notice a few minor grammatical errors here and there, mainly a few words that were easily filled in with what we knew you were trying to say. I give you and your story a 5/5 non the less, its compelling and engaging. draws the reader right in.

My gf calls me the Energizer Bunny with the battery in backwards. She says I keep coming and coming and coming. LOL

But seriously, outstanding story! I just hope we don't have to wait quite as long for Chapter 4! 5/5, mate!

The worst part of this series is you won't let us give you six stars.

Unforgivable, really.

I'm hooked! I'm very thanking he put the time table for this coming out. I most likely would have missed it. And that would mean missing a whole lot!

one word for now amazing

As always more sex scenes then story, in others this could be seen as a negative, but you write both so well I literally cannot jerk off to all the sex scenes in one go. I find myself skipping to the actual story, more absorbed in the plot then my own satisfaction. I care what happens to this character, i want nothing more than to see him kick some Orc ass. Previous chapters Greg was a one man wrecking crew, but this time around he was pressed into the role of communal bitch. Although it's interesting to see the change of place I almost feel like its a step backward in character development.

I've read all your stories and I love them (Defiled Temple was sooo hot) but this series in particular is something special. You have really upped your game with this latest installment and we, the readers, are the beneficiaries of your effort. Thank You for elevating storytelling on here to a whole new level. I am GIDDY with anticipation for whatever comes next, both for The Missing Dragon and your other works such as The Warlock!

I understand the relationship between Talina and Greg, I just don't like sharing :P. I like it when the main character get's all the cool girls.

Dear Lien Gieller,

I really enjoy the story though sometime, I kind of wish chapters were a bit shorter or that you post sooner like 1 month or something. :)

I completely skipped the Talina and Torren sex scene. I would have read it if the female had not been screwed by Greg and was less involved with the plot. Other than that, I loved it!

Keep it up. This is one of the rare stories that I actually read for the plot. Your ability to draw us in and get us emotionally invested in the characters is dumbfounding. Its gotten to a point where I kind of skim through when it comes a sex scene simply because I can't wait to find out what happens next =P. Nevertheless your descriptive ability is unparalleled in those scenes. Regarding the comment about shorter chapters and faster postings. I say disregard that, I rather agonize through the longer wait and have these long polished pieces of work. Top notch stuff.

Yay their a couple now(sarcasm :P)After Torren/Talina finish their part of the story:

Banish them from the story

Exile them from the story

Make them outcasts

Throw them away

Cast them out

Discard them

Get rid of them

ELIMINATE THEM

I think it's obvious at this point that they are not my favorite characters. One more!

Excommunicate them

The further and further you get into this tale, the less it becomes about the great sex scenes and more about the overall development of the story. Keep up the great work. Just keep it up at a better pace *grin*.

The missing Dragon is going really well. I love the plot and how its developing, and I can't wait to read about Greg kickin' some ass in the Proving :D. Keep it up, and post more often

Ive gotta agree with JOSE. You had talina too involved as a main character and i ended up skipping her and torren. They both gotta go.

great story as all ways dont listen to the people about torren and talina I like that twist when the heroes harem gets to big sometimes it takes away from the story I will be looking forward to your future work, still hoping for an unleashed chapter 2 or prologue

In a society like this, it will be almost impossible for all of the females in Gregory's Harem to survive. Also, never limit yourself when it comes to enemies. The douchebag's death is the perfect excuse for the "alliance" to be broken, and the demons and black orcs are not stupid. Just a thought for the future. One more thing, in order for the runts to survive, they must work as a unit especially since they loathe Greg. It would be ironic if the first person to befrend him was the female that hates to recieve help.

Great story keep it going looking forward to the next part

thank you thank you thank you for posting the next chapter.. more please.

Seriously, dude. Do you even know how to write a story that doesn't leave the reader obessing over it like Gollum with his ring? Don't leave us hanging like this! It had better not take you another eight months to get the next chapter out. I really cannot wait for the next chapter.

Also, I didn't mind the Torren and Talina bit. It adds depth to the characters, and adds another perspective on the relationship between Gregory and Talina. Gregory may be Talina's one and only master, but he sure as hell ain't her lover, just a really good lay who is worth a good bit of loyalty. Torren on the other hand, has nothing but love for Talina, something that Gregory cannot offer Talina, and it would seem that Talina is developing feelings for the innocent, klutzy blacksmith. Gregory certainly won't begrudge them their love. If Gregory does find out, it'll probably be while he's banging Talina, and he'll get all guilty about banging her when she has Torren, and Talina will have to work to convince him that he shouldn't feel guilty or jealous and to keep banging her. However, if Torren does get some hurt feelings about that, well, I'm sure the characters will work out some sort of an amiable compromise.

Now for the shameless plug. For those of you who don't know, and those of you who do, but haven't done anything about it yet, bashfullyshameless has put out a new story that is available for purchase on Amazon and Smashwords. It is titled Poor Man's Fight, and I just finished reading it. Let me tell you, it is one hell of a goddamn, motherf-ing, badass epic story. There is no sex in it whatsoever, and if there had been, it probably would have had a negative impact on just how epic the story was. I'm almost sorry to say this, Lien, but bash's Poor Man's Fight has your The Missing Dragon beat by a mile (which is farther than a kilometer, for those of you who use the metric system). Pretty much the sole reason why PMF has TMD beat is because it is a complete story; it is done, there is no waiting for chapters to publish or anything. You buy the story and can read all 218 pages of the .pdf at your lesiure, which considering how awesome it was, you won't be wanting to take days to read it.

So, what are you waiting for? Go over to bashfullyshameless' profile, follow the links to his new story, buy it, read it. You. Will. Not. Regret. It. Trust me.

That is all.

I'm okay with Talina/Torren pair, just don't make the female character bang BOTH. Example being if a female character has sex with a side male character , that female MUST not have sexual relations with Gregory. You can still let them be friends, comrades, you get the point. I think this will appease almost everyone, from the people who are happy for the new couple to the ones who don't like sharing :)

Also that 'anonymous exhales sigh' guy sounds like if Janette slept with another male he'd banish her to the other tower(you won't understand this joke if you haven't seen "Land of the Lost" film, if you haven't do so! Funny movie)

Just write this shit full time, I'd pay for it.

Alright commenters, let's rock!

To all of y'all who commented wishing me well and wanting more then thank you very much and rest assured that there's more to come! Though, as usual, it might take a while. ^_^ I hope it doesn't take 8 months though. Now, onto answering questions and addressing some of the points y'all have made.

limoS - Thanks for noticing the Lady Winter namedrop!

ladidah89 - Gregory has in fact lost three of his teeth! A wisdom tooth, and two of his molars on the upper and lower jaw in the back-right corner of his mouth.

Risax - Thanks for the epic feedback! It's nice to read that the main beats of the plot resonated with ya. Oh, and The Defiled Temple is indeed in the same world as the Embervine Forest. Though this story takes place quite a bit after that one.

HommeVivant - Greg isn't a Mary Sue. He won't always win. Especially when the odds are so massively stacked against him. I don't think he was a communal bitch in this story. He got hurt and had the fortune of having people that cared about him enough to help. I definitely wouldn't say that it's a step back in character development. A step back in his progress in getting what he wants, maybe, but that's not what character development is. Really glad you like the overall plot though, and I'm sure Greg will be getting back on his feet soon enough.

"truth is painful" Anonymous - The alliance might be on shaky ground, but Grolfir isn't going to dissolve it for a single prisoner getting free. Especially when it was obvious that another human did everything he could to stop him. Also, The Runts don't hate Greg. They don't respect him but they're all on the bottom rung of the ladder so they don't have much high ground to stand on. Plus, Gregory already has a friendly relationship with Ulf, the occasional bludgeoning aside.

Jedi Kahn - I think your heart was in the right place, and I'm quite a bashfullyshameless fan myself. But I'd take it as a kindness if you wouldn't write plugs for other author's on my comment sections. Especially when the gist of it seems to be "This is ok, but don't read this half finished crap, go and buy a proper book from a proper author instead!" I mean, c'mon. I'm doing my best here dude.

"I don't care about the master/slave thing but..." Anonymous - I was going to have Talina just stick with Torren. But I also don't like to be told I MUST do something. *Evil grin*

Other issues -

More vs less sex: Look guys, I can't please everyone with this. The last chapter had more sex and I had people telling me to tone it down. This chapter has less sex and I've got people telling me to tone it up. Rest assured that there will always be SOME sex, and that I'll try to make it the best it can be, but I promise no more or less than that.

Talina & Torren - Getting some hate for these guys! That's disappointing. A lot of you have obviously seen that Talina isn't nearly as close to Greg as Algra or Janette. She's just promiscuous and she likes Greg as a person. Torren gives her a lot more, even if he is a bit of a dope. This was never a choice between Torren and Greg because Greg was only a fuck-buddy and a friend. Plus, Greg supports the relationship in the end largely because he knows what it's like to have an enormous crush on a girl that doesn't seem to think twice about him. He had that kind of thing going with Janette for years before they landed on Arolius. Talina also views the idea of Greg being her master in a different way to what the rest of the humans did for reasons that will be explained later. Anyway, she's he's friend, was his fuck-buddy and never ever was his sex slave. Just a slave who liked sex ;o) Also, these two characters aren't going anywhere for a while, so if you really hate them that much then now might be a good time to stop reading!

It's good to see the shy dope get the girl every once in a while. Greg's already getting more than his share of the ride, so Torren getting some too is cool by me. :) Talina seems to be some sort of agent or assassin... or probably both. Loved the practical jokes she played on Ulag! Great addition to the story, IMHO. Keep it up, mate. As Larry the Cable Guy says: Git 'R Done! (The Next Chapter!) xD

I'm thinking there is a prophecy Wren knows about it and doesn't want to see it happen and Gregory fits it, therefore he needs to get rid of him. If you did mention a prophecy before then I forgot about it since I read this story. You write excellent stories this is an erotic site so...helllooooo...sex is a given. I am going to be selfish and cheap and say please keep posting your stories here on Lit so I can read them for free. If you ever did publish for real I might have to break down and buy, gosh darn it! So when are you gonna finish the other stories....hhhmmmnnn? I also wouldn't mind if you wrote some more about Jenny and Larry from Unleashed.

more!!! i need more!!! awesome!!! i like sci-fi with sex thrown in, have read all oh your stories and want more! a whole book maybe?

Read it, liked it. Am keen for more.

Loved it Lien - more please and soon!

I'm very sorry for offending you Lien; I really didn't mean for what I said to sound like how you put it. Sure, your story may not be finished yet, but I'm sure that when it is finished, it'll be just as awesome as bash's story. In fact, if your story (when finished) and bash's were both in physical book form, they would probably both occupy places of honor on my book shelf. Finished or not, your story is far from being "crap".

To help explain things (maybe), I'll put this into some possibly unsavory terms: reading can be an addiction, and you and bash put out some of the best, most addictive stuff on the market. Bash's new story, due to it's finished state, provides one hell of a high, which I was still riding when I did my review above. Your story, which I had actually read before bash's, provided a bit of a lower high, but because of the unfinished nature of The Missing Dragon, it can keep providing that same high with each new chapter, with the potential to reach a higher level each time. That is something bash's story can't do because it is finished.

If the situation were reversed, and it had been you who put out a finished and complete The Missing Dragon, and bash was still putting out chapters of his new story, I'd probably have done the same thing to him as I did to you, because I'm an ass like that. And I'd probably be using the same words to explain myself to him if he called me out as well, just with you being in bash's place and vice versa.

Hopefully, I've acquitted myself a bit and not dug myself a deeper grave. Either way, I'm gonna apologize one more time and then shut up.

My sincere apologies.

Jedi Kahn - It's totally fine, man. Like I said, I thought your heart was in the right place. I don't even mind people plugging their own stories if they're relevant or if they want me to take a look at them. Yours just seemed a bit out of place is all. No need to apologise, just wanted to mention it. It was a bit disheartening to read the "Hey, yeah, this is cool but this other thing I've found is way better!" on a story that took me quite a while to do! No hard feelings though and it's always nice to read what you think of my stuff since I know you've been commenting on my stories since the early days of Aphrodisia. :o) I just wanted to mention it was a little out of place and it put me down a little, which I don't think you meant to, so I just wanted to let you know! Sorry if I sounded angry or anything like that. It wasn't the intention!

First off, I'd like to apologize for missing some of the grammatical errors. ;)

With that said, I think this chapter was great, for it proved that Greg was, indeed, human (well, maybe a little something more, but still), and that he can fail. Also, I actually loved that Talina got together with Torren because it showed deeper character development for Talina, whose character I absolutely adore. There were also so many questions that were introduced with this chapter that can be further explored in upcoming chapters. Hook, line, sinker! Can't wait to see what you do next!

Darn the written medium; it is a horrible means of communication. You can't tell if someone you're talking to is scolding you or just giving you a heads up, because you can't tell if they're glaring at you or if they have a comforting grin on their face. It is often the reader who is left to decide what the intention behind the words are, and they are sometimes wrong. The written medium is great for stories, though, and you're one of the best, Lien.

I'm actually a little surprised that you remember me from the days of Aphrodisa. I can barely remember that story, let alone what my comments were on it. I just remember something about some guy opens a bottle, ends up freeing a goddess, and gets some of her power in the process. Things are great afterwards, he bangs the goddess and a couple of women, then things start going sideways and getting a little weird (as if dealing with a real life goddess wasn't weird enough). That's about all I remember. Maybe you should put out another chapter so I would have to go back and reread the previous stuff? :-)

Anyways, enough of this back and forth. You get back to writing, and I'll get back to muttering to myself about how you take so damn long to write a chapter then countering my own complaints by reminding myself of how great your story is.

By the way, you had mentioned in your earlier response that The Defiled Temple takes place in the same world as The Missing Dragon, albeit separated by a great deal of time. I would love to see how you tie the two together somehow, if you plan to tie them together.

Damn it, now that I'm thinking about it, I kinda want to go back and reread The Defiled Temple. How about another chapter of that one too?

I sorta feel compelled to at least mention to other people that if they want a LONG story, (51 chapters today, and planning for upwards of 70, according to the author [each chapter is usually at least 3 pages, some as much as 6]), look up "A Big Blue Marble" by TaLtos6 while you're waiting for Lien to bang out another chapter.

(Also, Lien, you'd probably like it too -- it's an enormous world, with loads of well-written characters.)

[I don't think his is better or worse than yours, just that it's awesome, and it's very long already, so it's a great distraction.]

Also, Lien, thanks for the response to my feedback -- I agree, writing an Epic tale as a first-time writer would be nigh impossible, so I'm going to first write something on here which I hope will be good, and then I'm gonna try for my other story.

Thank you for another great chapter :) Looking forward to the next.. with patience, since it will do no good to look forward in any other way. ;)

I'm really enjoying your story, particularly in how cohesive the characters, plot and erotica are interwoven.

In this third chapter the plot is clearly moving along nicely, and I'm liking the setbacks to the hero (it's good things aren't too easy for him, as it strains believability). In fact, I think your characterisations in this chapter have really enhanced the story immeasurably, and giving the readers more investment in the erotic elements.

Talina really shone in this chapter, her intelligence and pragmatism was refreshing and very welcome, as in harem plots the women tend to always act a little 'slow' and are almost always reactive rather then proactive. My one gripe was the 'lust vs. love' thoughts she was thinking, seeming to imply that she wouldn't fall in love with Gregory simply because she only felt lust for him initially. I'm not objecting to her branching out with Torren at all, but it seemed she was concluding on Gregory too quickly.

I liked Valise a lot too, but I think I'll run out of space and don't want the post to get truncated. Janette remains a clear reservation with me. In chapter 1 we basically were introduced to a beautiful but shallow girl we couldn't really respect because of her appalling taste in Freddie. In chapter 2 she hitched her wagon to Gregory, and despite what genuine feelings she had, her character as depicted to this point would have done so anyway because it was clearly the best move in her current scenario. Janette has never been shown to sacrifice for anything or anyone. She has only gained from from attaching herself to Gregory, and likely benefited from Freddie in the modern world in some manner. I guess the point I wanted to make, is that she still seems like a hanger on, secure by a shared past with Gregory but bringing nothing to the group, and having done nothing yet to have any respect from the readers.

But Janette is my only major criticism really, I am very much enjoying the story. Looking forward to more!

I just thought I drop a quick comment to thank you for another excellent chapter, I can't wait for the next one. I know you said it may be a while before you submit anything else but I wanted to let you know that there's at least one person eagerly awaiting your next submission regardless of which story it is.

i loved the new chapter. can't wait to see what happens next.

I love all 3 of your chapters and can not wait for a new on, thanks.

the first two chapters happened within a span of something like 3 days ? the third occupying a more than a month and had somewhere around 7 pages of pure sex?

i realize this is literotica but the story and character development could have probably been fit into 4 or 5 pages.

you noted at the start of the chapter there was going to be lots of violence and i grew excited for development only to be struck in the face with the same progression in the first 2 chapters of nonstop sex that seemed to occupy all worldy time and the actual story was just shoved in somewhere between the lines.

i understand that his "insatiable hunger" is somehow connected to him being the hero of this world or whatnot but at this rate, if this series were novels, it'd take 10 books for him to actually get anywhere.

please add some balance to the plot and sex, i have high hopes, but if this is going to be a nonstop sex spree then i can just as easily tromp over to incest and lesser categories with their sudden and dull transitions between normalcy and redundant somewhat boring orgies and "intense overpowering sex"

i love the setting and ideas behind the plot and have high hopes, but non stop sex with multiple partners doesnt make a good story, nor do harems as they lack any true depth in character development.

although i'm sure to receive some hate for this please consider my words.

IronDragon - Glad you liked what Talina got up to in this chapter. A lot of the cool stuff here was her showing off, so I'm glad it worked! Also, looking forward to the next instalment of your story too!

trubblemakur - Well your theory is completely wrong but I'm glad you're interested enough to have theories in the first place! :o) Also, Unleashed is finished and underlined for the time being. I mean, never say never but that story was meant to stand alone and I'm happy with that and Lady Winter being the stories of mine that actually have endings!

Hurbster - Thanks man, glad you liked this one. ;o)

"Awesomeness" Anonymous - Thanks for the feedback! Again, glad you liked Talina's antics. She also chose to take Torren not only because of the mere fuck-buddy relationship with Greg, but because Greg has to split his attention several ways right now and although he can handle it, she gets Torren all to herself. Also, thanks for mentioning Valise! This was a big chapter for her in the same way it was for Talina. Janette isn't meant to be very well defined as her own character at the moment because she's not a very strong person in her own right. She's also still dealing with this crazy new world and finding she's not nearly as well equipped to deal with it all as Greg is. Janette's story is going to be about her transition from this state into becoming more of a strong and defined character with her own shit to be doing. So it's more of a build-up type of thing.

"frustrated" Anonymous - Not sure if you're trolling me here but I'll answer anyway. Yes, there's lots of sex in my stories. Some chapters will have more than others. I've said this already. I've also said that this is an element that likely won't change as the story continues. If you don't like it then that's fine. Bugger off. ^_^ So no, I shall not consider your words! I agree with you that stories involving harems can often lead to some truly cringe-worthy female characters that are mere cardboard cut outs with vaginas. But I don't think that has to be the case. I think you can have a story with a lot of sex, a lot of girls, and still have good characterisation and evolution. There might be quite a bit of sex here but it usually means something. Algra forgiving Greg for his actions, Valise finally letting herself go and sharing her past with Greg, Talina giving the awkward kid a break and finding something more in the union. I don't think it's just mindless fucking. As I said, if you don't agree with that then that's fine and I understand your frustration. But you are reading a smut story here. Sure, it's a smut story with ideas of grandeur but I also have to stick with the ones that brought me. So there'll continue to be lots of sex. So there. :op

Yeah you have a lot of sex in your story, and so? I mean this is litEROTICA, right? You actually have more than I "need," but then I am 70 and suffer ED. Now if I were only 25 years younger I would be asking for more sex :)

Even though you do have a lot, it is well done and consistent with the story. (Even so much that it was noted in the things "different" about our hero. You surprised me a little by not having Talina report back to the breakfast club yet about the fact that obviously the elder is especially keen on getting rid of Greggers. I can see some interesting interactions coming out of that information and how the different personalities might deal with this powerful ancient. I am also looking forward to seeing Ulf develope into something more along the way of living up to his father's hopes and seriously upsetting old nutless.

I like your sexy kitten and was tittilated by thoughts of how elves might be involved. You certainly have left yourself room for a great deal more story, and you have served up these first three chapters with great sapidity. I have been so exited by the alchemist that I was pleased that she finally "got hers." She had become a major character and had not yet been pulled into the erotic part of the tale (tail?).

Yesterday would have been to late to have me happy about the arrival of Chapter Four. I understand that art takes time to create, but I really want more NOW! Oops, I apologize for slipping into Orc mode, but I do hunger for more. Lynn

As the title says this story is listed as a 3 part series, but it feels like there s a lot more to write about, as the main plot line has yet to be resolved (he hasn't made it home, if hes even gonna try, magic ring, getting all his stuff back from the chief, that whole dragon thing that was hinted at)

that being said, this is a very very good series and I would love to see it continued

Thank you soooo much for the new chapter it seems like years since the last one :-D I had been wanting more that bad and you didn't disappoint. Loved that your rounding out your characters, and the hints for the future. To the previos poster lit will say it's a three part series as that's all that's published yet as more are added it will increase saying 4, 5, 6, part series etc. And there best be more or I'll cry LOL.

Hey Lien,

I loved it and in general I love your stories, especially TMD but man it took you eight months to write it so I was actually hoping for a little more plot ;o). I was really disappointed because I felt that it ended too early :( I would have loved if you would have included the rematch *dreaming of the future*

That being said I am looking forward to the next chapter so keep up the good work and PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE don't keep us hanging ;op

I was so pleasantly surprised to see the latest installment of the story. I am enjoying the storyline and look forward to the rest. No pressure but please do hurry with the next chapter ;)

Chain the stories update as the author adds more. When he adds another story it will say 4 part series then 5 then 6. Its automatic and not something you can preset.

Cant wait for the next part :) Its f...... great

I am enjoying this story. Great balance of sex, mystery and action. Look forward to the next chapter.

Thank you been looking forward to this. Should make this into a movie!

So many points on which to touch.

I had previously commented on the sex:story ration. I think with this chapter you found an excellent balance. You injected a lot of story, especially character development, in between sex scenes. And the scenes themselves were not overly long. I think you also uppped your game when it comes to the sex scenes themselves. I'll comment more on that below.

With regard to Talina and Torren. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING! I am very relieved that Torren did not get the shaft. Having the two of them come together adds depth to those characters.

You know there is a common trope that seems to run through a lot of the stories I read on this site. And that is "ever growing harem" for the main character. Sometimes less is more. Sometimes the main character in these stories, quite simply, has too many women. I realize this is all fantasy, but the fantasy still needs to be interesting and maintain some sense of credibility. I think you have a fair balance right now with Gregory having Algra, Janette, and Valise in his regular harem. Having him hook up occasionally with others for a one time or a once in awhile thing maintains a good full set of options for that character.

So moving Talina out of Gregory's harem and letting Torren have his love fulfilled and allowing her to find something she may not have realized she was missing is a great move on your part. And I liked the sex scene with those two.

You added a dose of reality to it that is often sorely lacking in stories on this site. Sometimes sex is not perfectly timed and balanced. And the characters held a level of maturity about it. I am glad that Talina is showing good grace and basically said "oh we're not done yet just because you came". Good job, because so many others would have one or both of the characters run off in a fit, which I usually find irrational. Again, I realize these stories are about fantasy. But you know what also make a great experience when you are with someone? Understanding. And that can translate really well into stories of sexual fantasy. I think you did that with Talina and Torren. I also want to note that in of the other scenes, Gregory did nto come at all. He basically let, Janette I believe? use him for her own need for release. Again, great depth added to sexual relations. For me, it adds a great deal of eroticism because the characters and the scene become a little less two dimensional and more relatable.

So while others may be complaining, I actually think your entire approach with the sexual relationships this chapter, showed a lot of maturity on your part and a lot of depth of thinking as well.

Now having praised you for your balance of sex scenes and your presentation of them, I will say that I was hoping that Janette or someone could have given Gregory and languid, relaxing handjob when they were all round him and he awoke and got that hard-on. Because that's very specific fantasy I have. hehe.

Onto other things:

I was really thrilled that Gregory got the crap beaten out of him. Don't get me wrong. I like this guy. But having him face failure really adds depth to the story and to the character. Up until this moment he had been a little too perfect. This upped your credibility as a writer for me. I have only read Aphrodisia and The Missing Dragon so far. I want to read your other stories, but that's all I've gotten to so far. I think you have come a long way as a writer.

I hope you continue to make Gregory a multi-dimensional character. Not just Gregory, but all of your main characters. It is okay, during the course of the story, for Gregory to fail through no fault of his own. It is also okay if he makes mistakes because he overlooked something or because he let emotions cloud his judgement. You have touched on this with his beating of Freddie, and now he has to face not just consequences of his guilt for losing control but also in the more tangible aspect of losing his possessions and the fight in the proving ground. And Ulf by himself nearly beat the crap out of him. It was a real wake up call that Gregory may not be entirely prepared for this world and that he might have to struggle to get by. This makes the reader pay more attention to the story and more uncertain about the outcome of events. So yeah, good job.

Not all is what it appears to be.

It's obvious Talina is not what she appears. The real question is whether she has a mission she is fulfilling, or if she is like Valise, outcast or escaping a role.

The revelation of Valise's history is interesting.

Wren, Ulag, and Ulf all have some things going on that make them a little more interesting.

And, I am getting the sense that Gregory is not what he appears to be. I have a very strong idea of what is giving Gregory his physical prowess. And if I am right, then that is very cool. I am looking forward to finding out.

Great job on this chapter. You are really developing your talent for story telling.

and all your work. Please keep them coming. You are one of the best authors on this site. I would be willing to buy this series when completed as an ebook

you just went and ruined it for me getting talina and torren together.

oh, and btw what's the verdict with the Aphrodisia series? are you gonna finish it or not?

Great story and Thanks for the chapter. been eagerly waiting for this chapter since I read the first 2 chapters..

Keep up the good work..

lots of love and best wishes.........

Loved the plot development so far. Please keep writing this story. Harem stories get unbelievable after a while but I like the twist here where there seems to be a creation of a new love that comes from the introduction of the main character. Something analogous to the creation fire mention in the dream, the interaction of the characters and the main protagonist seem to be healing past hurts and creating new possibilities.

Thanks for the story

every time i read one of your chapters of this book im left at the end going NOOOO wait just a bit more grumble now i have to wait for the next one :(

great work keep it up

how long did the healing take him totally to get fit enough to take on the proving again!! weeks ,months or just a few days??? I like this story and can see a good deal of potential in this story thank you and finish the story !!!

Its going to be great to see greg whip the runts into a fighting force. Those are often my favorite stories.

Dude!!! Please,moooooooore!!! Keep it coming!!

I really like your work. Thank you. Please keep writing.

It is rare to find an "adult" fantasy story that remains as captivating in it's successor chapters as in its origin, rarer still to find one (on this site) that spans more than 5 pages a chapter, and hasn't degenerated into plot-less thoughtless sex scenes by chapter 3 in an effort to stay fresh and fill the genre.

This tale has is one of the (very) few expectations to the humdrum level quality of narrative that can be found on this site. I place your work on par (and above par in many cases) with quite a lot of published literature in the main stream fantasy genre and I'm waiting desperately for the next chapter :)

YOUR STORY EXCITES MY IMAGINATION , THE FIGHTING THE WONDER THE SUSPENCE BUILD UP .... I LOVE IT , GREAT STORY LINE GREAT ADVENTURE AND THE S*X IS JUST A BONUS. DON' T STOP YOU ARE DOING SUPA.

LOVE IT

I'm guessing she is going to be a big part of the story.That probably why them people flipped out when the shy boy and chick got together. I think they would not flip out if it were like this: Greg and assassin chick(or anyone who is important to the story)=just friend(no benefit) from the beginning. Then the flippy people would be okay with shy boy and assassin girl.

To the people who flipped the fuck out:

Is my theory correct??

To author Lien_Geller:

1. Were you expecting negative comments about the couple?

2. What was your reaction to the flipped-out people and their post?

3. Will future important girls stay just friends with Greg(so she can carry out a relationship without getting hate) or

will you puff your chest out and be like 'grr! screw you! fool!'?

DragonDragos - It took Greg about a month to heal up fully with Valise's assistance.

michc - Thanks for the uber feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I enjoyed reading what you had to say!

My theory... (Anonymous) -

1: I was not expecting negative comments about the couple! I don't think anyone really has complained about Torren or Talina as individuals. It's just that she's "not fucking Greg like she should be". That's not exactly a good enough reason and although she's a "slave" Greg's not a chauvinist so he's happy for her to do what she likes, and Talina likes Torren.

2: I was a little surprised and disappointed. I have a soft spot for the weird and awkward among us and it's nice to see the loser occasionally get the girl.

3: I don't really know what I'll be doing with future characters. I have them and their purpose in my head but they tend to develop their own personalities in the writing. As for feedback influencing my stories? It hasn't yet. Well, comments and feedback I get are pretty much the only form of payment I receive for my work so they influence my stories in that they make me want to make more of them, but I haven't had anyone yet who made me rethink a plotline or character. I'm not saying that they won't or that I intentionally ignore feedback I get, it's just that it's my story and a camel is a horse made by committee. Feedback also helps in making me want to be a better writer. I'm happy to hear constructive criticism, though most of the criticism I've received I've actually been aware of as weaknesses in my writing, but it's nice to have folks who want to help! So there's no chest-puffing to be done and I'm not telling anyone to go screw themselves but the criticism of Torren and Talina's relationship is just a non-event with me. I haven't heard a compelling argument yet other than people think that she should be part of Greg's harem and that's not really convincing enough.

awesome keep it up

My first comment, how exciting

Lien_Geller if feedback is your payment then I hope you consider this a fat check.

I for one enjoy reading what you write and do hope that you keep up the good work. This story has taken an interesting turn as do all great stories. I do hope you don't shape this story to everyone's suggestions as it would lose a part of it's self that comes from your best judgment as to how your story should be told. Anyway I'm not here to post negative comments.

As for the controversy surrounding Talina & Torren. If Talina is some sort of Assassin, what's to stop her from removing certain citizens to allow Greg's life to be a bit more easy, it seems like he was the first master to treat her kindly and allow a relationship between Talina and Torren, I'm sure she'll be grateful for that. Besides it just means that Greg can focus his loving emotions on Algra and Janette.

Lastly I think you took a risk in writing the story the way you wanted to write the story and not the way that would have given you the most positive feedback and I'm sure that you have a large voiceless and voiced fan base out there who like me are just reading installment after installment and enjoying every word.

PS apologies about lack of criticism on literature crap because if it is there I couldn't care less

Hey Lien,

Definitely one of the best I've read on the whole site. It's not just the sex that draws me into your stories, but the worlds you create and the characters that fill them. I find myself waiting with bated breath for your next chapter and worrying that you might stop writing before I can see how it all plays out. Keep up the good work!

I'm still wondering when your work will hit the stacks in America. I'm going to be hopefully for years that your writing will hit print. I have spent the last 10 hours finishing the remainder of your stories. To date the top 3 are The Missing Dragon, Unleashed, and the Warlock. I adore your writing style and the depth of you characters. You seem mostly unlimited when varations of characters which as a new writer I find difficult in my own work. I very much hope you will continue to work on this particular story.

I believe that Torren got hella lucky and most likely so did Talina. I look forward to seeing how their relationship will develop. But speaking for many women out there, guys aren't the only loser. I'd like to see the large sweet chick get a man that can put her jaw on the floor. lol. Anyway I hope you will put the next installment out soon but I can understand why they take near on a year to get out. Thank you for writing and please continue.

you are now my favorite writer on this site and this is my favorite of your work. I agree that I would enjoy seeing your work in print.

You're a very talented writer. This was a great chapter both in plot and world development, and it was a joy to read. =)

It has reached the point that the sex in this story is merely a mild counterpoint to the main story arc, and might even become distracting! =)

I found myself trying to guess how you will develop the plot much as I would for the middle book in a series I would buy off the shelf in a bookstore.

I would gladly pay real money to continue reading this story, and wait for additional installments with the same eagerness I reserve for my favorite authors.

I hope you find the time and inspiration to bestow another episode on us soon. =)

Just wow

The sex is almost a secondary element, ALMOST, we do so love it so dont drop it. Your story line is engrossing and enjoyable, get us more of the same.

another great read. looking forward to more. wish the pace of releases was faster. also please please please don't forget about aphrodisia. that was a good one too and i want to see how that goes. all in all keep it up for as long as you can. i can imagine doing so many words can't be too easy.

that was totally amazing. you're a natural talent! please create more stories

Need an update, brother! When's Chapter 4 going to drop?

Keep up the good work. The Talina/Torren thing is a fine sub-plot addition. If the simple minded can't accept female sexuality then screw them. I can envision where you may take Torren to a pivotal point in the plot. A pawn in the grand scheme of things. Looking forward to the next chapter whenever you can get it finished in your time frame. I can wait.

Yes.

I was so excited to log in and find a new installment to this series! Love all the foreshadowing of larger concerns and larger forces out there. Can't wait to see where our hero goes from here!

I am addicted to this story and must have more.

I have been a long time lurker on this website, and now I am joining just so I can track this story line...

Brilliant, everything I've ever wanted- interesting, imaginative storyline. Erotic scenes to masturbate to, and the teases of a more to come.

Please, more, faster!

FINALLY!!!