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All Comments on 'You and Your kitten'

by PlayfulLittle1

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  • 5 Comments
SweetOblivionSweetOblivionabout 11 years ago
A nice bouncy poem but you need to work on this a bit from a technical perspective.

1. Syllable count and stress - your verses are uneven so they distract from rhythm.

2. Punctuation - you miss apostrophes as in cute kitten cloak - kitten's or cloak's?

3. Reverse phrasing - looks clumsy unless done really cleverly, rather than as a quick fix as you seem to do at line 4.

4. Read this aloud and check how it flows.

Sweet O.

tazz317tazz317about 11 years ago
WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT

if sword always wins over the pen TK U MLJ LV NV

lakesailer_milakesailer_miabout 11 years ago
Nice

I liked it! Thanks for writing.

demure101demure101about 11 years ago
Well done...

A good read, and erotic in the right sense.

RedrosewitchRedrosewitchover 10 years ago
Kitty has claws.

I love the contrast here between the pet's sweet submission and the fact that she also puts up plenty of fight. Sounds like that really turns them both on.

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userPlayfulLittle1@PlayfulLittle1
10 Works
56 Followers
40s/f/divorced/poly - Been kicking around literotica for a long time, chat and forum. I enjoy writing and recording audio erotica. I love D/s and am I suppose, if I need to classify myself, a bisexual switch. I'm also a SSBBW (super sized BBW = FAT), so if that's not your thi...