All Comments on 'Braining Ch. 01'

Loved it! Minimal sex, but well thought out. I seldom re-read a story but I did with this one. Looking forward to your next chapter.

your ideas are interesting and everything but brian is just too good. no kid with that kind of power is going to use it so well no matter how well adjusted his moral compass is. he is just too nice and noble and all that stuff so his whole personality is seems completely unreal. also i cant believe he wouldnt be mad about blair +pushing him for over 4 yrs. anybody would be furious about that and he just shrugs it off

I do agree that Brian is too good, but I really like the positive tone and the fantasy world you've started. I don't rate 5's very often, but you earned this one. Well done.

I like the positive tone you've got going here too. Obviously you intend for Brian (brain?) and Blair to get busy - eg the preface about STDs. Don't worry about making Brian too nice. You've got a compelling story set up, I thought the obsession with breasts was cute, fun and realistic. Looking forward to where you go with this - I'm hooked!

Waiting for the next episode. I would like a further explanation of +pushing/+mentalling. Did Blair have an electrocution like accident as well what has she done with her +remoting/+pushing. How did Brian miss these events? A lot to explore in the future.

I agree with the others that you did a great job setting this up. The characters are much more than shells and that helps get past any little thing that might get in the way of being pulled in.

I do sort of agree with the comment about Brian's reaction to being pushed. I am glad you didn't have him over react about it right then. He was a horny teen and had just admitted to pushing her also. But I can imagine it coming back to haunt them. Even if he isn't angry about it, I imagine it might cause him to doubt the relationship later. We don't know that much about Blair yet but I think these two are the good guys. I want them to be together.

Of course, now that there are two of them, it stands to reason there are more and not all have to be so nice.

Love it so far... this is the kinda mind control I like, mental powers n' manipulation, not mind rape or domination/humiliation (basically, bullying). Please keep it up! Can't wait for next chapter.

So far this story has been everything that mind control stories usually aren't. The characters are acting like real people might, they're likeable and you haven't created any hugely improbable events. Not only that, but your writing is clear, with appropriate grammar, correct spelling and good sentence structure. It's a pleasure to read and I'm truly looking forward to the next chapter.

Nicely done, Tex! A slow beginning, but we were forewarned; I'm looking for more B&B adventures, keep it up!

I want more... And the sex as well.. ;)

So far this is really really good, keep it up.

Very good imagination and concept