All Comments on 'My Stranger Fantasy'

You admit this is your first attempt at erotica; here's some unsolicited advice: imagine how a reader experiences your story, how does the plot, the action, the character or persona feel to us as we "live the fantasy" that you're spinning.

For me, first person is harder to get into, as it immediately claims the "I" in my mind's eye & thus limits what the real "I" (me!) can imagine, but if you prefer it, pay attention to how other seasoned writers use it, and it is just more limiting because descriptions, details, setting the scene, are more easily achieved in third person.

Look at how others combine them: 3rd person for normal setting of the scene, details, plot, & son on, then you can shift into 1st person for dialogue & direct expression of a character's feelings/thoughts/reactions, along with 3r person reportage of movements, like physical motions that can be awkward to have an "I" character POV report directly... "I writhed uncontrollably as I came over & over."

Naah, it's kinda clumsy, compared to:

"Deva writhed, her back arching in a spasm of pure pleasure & her toes curling uncontrollably, as her orgasm convulsed her body, starting deep in her ass as Tom's cock spread her wide open, triggering her G-spot from within as she spurted an arc of girl-cum all over Ann's face, Ann's mouth hungrily gulping the delicious juice & suckling Deva's swollen labia & tonguing her throbbing clit, sending her into one staggering cum after another ..."

Just a thought, see what you think as you write more. Carry on!