by Valentina93
If this is your first gor Storie it really good I really liked it .. Ive enjoyed gor since I was teenage and now in my 30 I still love a new gor storie ..thank you .
I am not familiar with the World of Gor, as I haven't read any of Norman's novels. So, I can't really comment on the style or the accuracy of the world building. However, I thought it was well written (very little grammar issues, good use of minimalist style) and the character development of the MC was interesting. I could tell by the manner in which she thought of her past that she had truly been broken, thinking back on herself as "arrogant" and "spoiled," instead of "free" and "independent." It'll be interesting to see if you decide to continue on with a series. If so, stop back and let us know.
As long as you aren't trying to peddle "The Gorean Way" as something more than it actually is, young teen boy fantasy a la Conan the Barbarian, then cool. Neat style. I have to groan at the Internet virtual attempts that try to make people believe it is actually viable or a fulfilling lifestyle that is somehow beyond self-delusion in their modern day life. Those self-described "Goreans" are wishy wannabes and nowhere near the alphas they wish to be...because they are on the Internet beating their sunken chests rather than out there being CEO of something.
But as a fantasy, again, cool. No complaints.
But one question....."females" of Gor...not women? Does that mean we might see some nonhuman female slaves as well? If not, it is misleading as a title.
Thank you everyone for the feedback. Suggestions and criticism are welcome. I used the word females as it is a word often used in the books to refer to women. I am sorry if I mislead anybody.
She may be a slave, but there is absolutely no element of reluctance or non-con in what she's doing now. BDSM at worst, more like Sci-Fi/Fantasy.
Actually, I think Non-Con is a good choice. In BDSM, they would tell the author that it is not BDSM because that relationship requires a level of trust in giving one's power over to another. This character had no choice, lost all power regardless, and certainy should not expect trust from any Master.
It also works because the reader, like HisPet21 mentioned, can sense that she once saw herself differently, but has now been broken into a fraction of her former self. Take a look at the Roman Empire or any number of militant empires built on slavery and imagine how brutally they must have treated some slaves to break them and make them forget their humanity.
This is the proper category for this story, Valentina, don't worry. Although it might also fit somewhat in Sci-Fi/Fantasy, too....it would be hard to tell what the response would have been there. That readership does want to be immersed in other worlds, but they generally also want some sense of hope from their protagonist (I.e. they usually aren't broken permanently, they can come back from a fall). It is a tough call.
I thought it was interesting reading this style, but given that my personal experience talking with those men who have read the Gor novels...I have a hard time respecting the setting because it is often admitted to be an embarrassing self-indulgence (kind of like Twilight will be for women) by men whose opinions I respect, and when they shrug and say, "well...I was young and inexperienced at the time."....it kind of tells me a lot about the purpose of the novels.
A very good start on your Gor story. You have a really good feel for the world and the way the books are told in the first person, and the manner they are told.
The uses of the word female is a good choice, as most girls are reminded they are female, not men, and females are the slave sex so they must submit to men. The word woman also being used for those who are free, "freewoman" really would not be a good title for a Gor story.
oh, kajira is very pleased with your writing and details. she prefers you use quotation marks for speakers, but realizes this is your story and you may use any punctuation you wish. i first knew i was a kajira when i read Slave Girl of Gor at the age of 13 or so. Now 11 years later, those thoughts never leave my mind. Please write more!
non-con is the category for this story. Nice beginning and welcome to the Lit neighborhood. Take care...we'll be watching for more...
This author has started another story, SF about another slave girl, rather slow moving covering an hour or so of her life as she wakes. Not a lot of detail in the new story.
I fear there is going to be a series of chapter 1s for a lot of different slave girls. Relatively easy to write the first chapter, harder to continue with a satisfying story.
I hope I am wrong.
it may be two years later, but I will add chapter 2 before long.
He was already crushing her with his chest. Why not with his ass.
He should have sat on her, and forced her to choke and gag on his cock, while she struggled to breathe with him sitting on her, so comfortable and enjoyable for him while he enjoyed her suffering for his pleasure.