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Dandelion Days

bydemure101©
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Comments (6)
by Anonymous

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by HarryHill03/05/13

I hate your enjambment

but Oh God, I love your words.

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by Ashesh903/05/13

What a splash of bright colours !!

Excellent ---5-ed .

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by twelveoone03/05/13

5ed of course

Actually, I like the EOL
smile – no, those are not
and then one rhyme propulsion to the end
Dandelion days, beginning, middle,end, pretty standard and effective, I wish more people would read yours, my usual complaint about dead language is not really apropos here, but it would be nice to see a little more "moist new wings"

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by greenmountaineer03/06/13

Unlike Harry I thought the enjambment worked well. I usually cringe when I see a line ending word that's a preposition, but "to" actually works well here, I think, because of the sound of the words that precede it in the line. The pause worked as one might speak the line, at least in my opinion.

I also liked the choice of an unusual, but understood, word in a poem such as "facets." By itself, it sounds almost mechanical, but with "diamond" modifying it as well as the verb "splash," it took me by surprise and suggested a very different image. Nicely done.

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by HarryHill03/08/13

Stole your word facets for one of my poems

if you want to see it again send two rhyming couplets in a plain brown wrapper to..

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by DawnJ03/29/13

A Ray Bradbury Moment

Why this poem reminds me of Bradbury's "Dandelion Wine" I'm not sure, but it does. That's a great coming-of-age novel...and this is a great coming-to-knowledge poem. Love it, sweetie!

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