All Comments on 'She Wolf'

Please comment, and give feedback. I really want to grow as a writer. Thanks.

I like it! Looking forward to your next post.

so far so good , im definitly curious as to how this story will go :)

I hope we find out soon exactly what happened to cause Nina to run with the kids from her original pack.

Good beginning.. I will be watching for more. :)

I am intrerested so far as to why she had to leave her pack but also feel you could slow down the pace a bit. It seemed a little rushed and I felt personally rushed reading it. PB

This is good. New chapter soon I hope!

I'm interested in reading the whole story.

How can joe have taken her virtue? Virtue refers to being a virgin, unless the kids aren't hers...? Just a little confused. Good so far, please continue

In this context virtue meant an upright upstanding person

a good start you have here,darling. I hope the story is about Nina, and her mate. Celia would be cool, but you have caught me up with Nina.

I have bookmarked your page so I can check for more chapters. I am eagerly waiting to see what happened at their old pack and what happens next.

I like the tidbits of information so far. I definitely want to see more of the story.

Great start..the mom is a strong woman

First attempt in non-human, never can tell. This has the earmarkings of a fab story. The break for the cliff hanger. ...loving it. I am fortunate enough to have discovered this jewel when the new update was being posted. Happy dance over here.

I do tend to agree about WHY she left and it needed more, but then that's why we all should have imagination like the author. Looking forward to reading more and the cliffhanger was a nice touch. I'm hooked, so begin reeling me in.

Wonderful start and for a new genre. What a strong female lead. What won't a mother do for her children. If she didn't need to worry about them, she would probably have gelded that beta. Looking forward to the next chapter very much.

To know that I want more. This doesn't read like a first non-human story. I'm going to chapter 2 right now to find out what happens next.....

First and foremost, this particular chapter has a disjointed feel to it. At first Nina is worried about her daughter who lives away from home, and then the story goes backwards X years to a point where the oldest child was in her early tweens (10, 11, 12) to mid-teens. That in and of itself is fine but there wasn't any internal monologue, or dialog between Nina and her daughter to spark Nina's remembrance or worry. All we got as readers were a couple of lines of narration stating that Celia is shy and doesn't trust anyone.

Nina told Celia to "help her with the babies" which means that Nina has been a mother for longer than 20 years. You're looking at roughly 25-30 years~.

Nina has/had three pups so there was no virginity or "virtue" to protect. If you meant it as her moral rightness, then again the word isn't used properly. Being a rape victim doesn't in and of itself steal your virtue or sense of right and wrong. That said, you made it sound like Nina had lost her mate in a violent fashion. Again, no "virtue" or innocence to protect.

You took a character we have zero emotional investment in and then subjected her to a series of violent, noncon/reluctance scenarios. I know it sounds cold and callous but in this particular chapter, I don't care about Nina being raped, her daughter almost getting raped (after you said it would never happen) and then Nina' s prostitution of herself.

Finally, you have Joe raping Nina, not caring about her, thinking to himself that he doesn't want to mate, swearing to himself that he'd mate with her, not following through after that first rape (months passed) and then he took responsibility and protected her daughter from his accomplice. Joe needs more character development for the dots to connect.

How you can improve this chapter: Rather than telling us what they're thinking or feeling via narration, show us with their dialog and their actions. More dialog would help us get a feel for who these characters are and increase our emotional investment in them. Attaching "tags" to the dialog would add sincerity and depth to the conversations. Body language, tone of voice, actions, etc. all add a third dimension to your character's interaction. Narration should only be used to set the scene up but never for character interaction.

Ex: Nina walked through the compound with her head hung low in an effort to avoid attention. Silent tears burning with shame streamed down her cheeks as she guided Celia towards their dwelling. The serene mask that adorned Celia's face hurt her more than any other part of the whole ordeal. She knew that Celia's fragile calm wouldn't last and that the full brunt of what almost happened would hit her later. At that point though, she was thankful that Celia was holding it together.

As soon as they had reached their small shack on the outskirts of pack lands, Nina threw the door open and guided her daughter inside.

"Listen to me Celia," Nina implored with an urgency that got her shaken daughter's attention. "We can't stay here any longer. You're like a budding flower on the cusp of blossoming and the males of the pack have taken notice. It won't be much longer until you're 18 and that's when our nightmare will truly begin. I won't let them -" fresh tears streamed down Nina's cheeks before she took a deep breath and gathered herself. "I won't let them do to you what they've done to me," Nina stated with a conviction and vehemence Celia had never seen from her mother before.

"Momma," Celia's voice cracked as she pulled her mother into a warm embrace.

"Hush, everything will be okay," Nina reassured as she stroked her daughter's hair lovingly. Releasing her daughter, Nina whispered, "I need you to get our suitcase while I rouse your brothers, we leave this night."

I hope this helps.

I honestly tried to get thru at least one of your stories but I couldn’t. I’m so tired of reading about the abuse of women. Black women especially. A woman does not have to go thru abuse in order to be strong. A woman does not have to go thru abuse in order to be valid. Abuse doesn’t always have to be the story. I understand that you’re probably projecting your abuse which could be a good coping mechanism but the majority of the stories I tried to read from you, has had the woman going thru abuse.

One doesn’t know strength until one is tested, especially when it’s at weak points. You shouldn’t read stories if you can’t handle the fire of other’s realities. Go read something else and comment there.

I for one, enjoy your stories although they can definitely be rough. Thank you for having the courage to write with such subject matter.

good read but it was hard to read the abuse I understand the meaning though