All Comments on 'A Pack of Tales Ch. 05'

by NaokoSmith

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  • 9 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago

col is being such an asshole i hope he changes his mind and it would be nice to learn about red and the history of the weres....cool chapter by the way

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago

Well done! I was wondering how Col would take the news. I hope he comes to his senses, he and Bryony are a good couple. Maybe he just needs time to get over the shock.

Poor Red, I can't wait to find out her story.

countrygirlflacountrygirlflaalmost 11 years ago
VERY GOOD!!!

A good chapter,albiet a bit on the short side,,,longer chapters would be nice,,i know thats hard to write,,,but maybe 3 pages,,,so we can really get into it,,,keep up the good work.Look forward to much more from you!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
ummmm

Where's the story? All you do is give us scenes that are interspersed in long periods of nothing. Don't get me wrong, the scenes are pretty good but its like showing someone a single flower out of a bouquet of wildflowers.

NaokoSmithNaokoSmithalmost 11 years agoAuthor
Thanks for feedback

Guys, many thanks for this feedback. I've been in the habit of writing long flowery meandering romantic stories and I wanted to tighten my style up, but perhaps it's too clipped? Maybe I should run some of the scenes together to make longer chapters. That seems to be the consensus so far, let me know, especially if you like the current bite-size reading rather than longer chapters.

There was a long break when my last editor had a bit too much real life delivered on her doorstep and I wanted to wait in hopes she would come back to me. I've got my new editor now (who is luckily also brilliant) so I'll be uploading pretty regularly now.

I hope you can be patient about Red's story, she will tell it eventually, the poor thing just needs time to develop trust in the pack.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
a disappointment

I had been waiting for a while for the next 'chapter' - only to find that it wasn't much of anything. I suppose most of your followers would have guessed the pregnancy theme - but it was such a let down somehow. Col suddenly disappeared up his own selfishness and we are left with possible interaction between red offering sympathy to bryony and max offering something else to col.

A bit predictable, and I do hope I am wrong!!!!!

NaokoSmithNaokoSmithalmost 11 years agoAuthor
Next chapter coming up

The next chapter has been uploaded and is coming up soon. I'm afraid poor old Col won't get his head together for a little while; hope when he does you are not disappointed ...!

Thank you for all the feedback and comments, they are really helpful.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
love in the cards for red?

Does red ever get a break in the lives department? She needs it. Also, i would have thought that col and red would have been a good match but hard to cheer for him when he's acting the villain. Know what i mean?

sheabluesheabluealmost 10 years ago
Excellent

I love the dialogue in this piece! So realistic. And I appreciate the flaws in even the most appealing characters. No stereotypes here. And you so deftly tease with the bit about Rikki and his brother. It's all so expertly woven together. I can't wait to read more!

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