All Comments on 'A Different Thing Entirely Ch. 02'

...what I would have thought you would have come up with but thanks for the add on. It was a fun ride. Btw - it's not "fucking" ... It's "damn" :-)

What a bunch of losers. Stupid, selfish, fools. One and all. It makes it hard for the reader to care about the outcome.

Some time ago I stopped reading this guy's posting because all foolish and sick. This one proved it. Sorry I ignored by better judgement.

I read it, but it was because I'm so desperate.

The first part had some really interesting elements, and you played it out quite well. There wasn't anything new here except your desire to give the first version a better ending. I don't think it worked.

What, you threw in a few extra mitigating circumstances, added an additional sexual event near the end, some extra 'in and out', and pumped her full of some gelatin that apparently was supposed to have misled our hero.

When Dean drove away saying 'it was another thing altogether' it really was. You tried but failed to fix their marriage.

If you wanted to get them to reconcile you needed to go in a new direction, and here's what you could have done. First, their friendship with the other couple was irreparably broken; her sexual interest and his emotional situation finished that off. Our hero and heroine needed to face that. Second, our hero needed some time away; some time to be lonely, time to be filled with regret and remorse. Third, his wife needed a priority reset; she needed to awaken to just how her husband might have felt, and what she'd done, especially about the 'bikini try on' and subsequent second round of sex. Fourth, she had to find her husband and get to work on the old reclamation project. All of this would have taken a lot of work for you; you would have had to really dig into their emotional states and then find ways to get them to reconnect.

To be sure, I would have been hard pressed to build all the groundwork for a reconciliation, it would have been tiring and tedious to read about his and her deepest thoughts about their marriage, their courtship, the goals they'd once had, and all the trauma they'd have to go through to rebuild. Most Literotica readers would have poured a bucket of piss on you for anything that serious.

Nice try though; I gave you a five for the effort. I hope you're feeling better. By the way have you noticed none of the 'real' LW writers have done anything in months? It's too bad, but they've all gotten bored and drifted away.

BUT THERE ARE PILLS FOR STOPPING YOU FROM GETTING OLD. tk u mlj lv nv

This is really good writing with genuine and believable characters. The rape of Kay was jarring, though, and spoilt it a bit.

I agree with @carvoni...Why in hell would Jack tell him about something that didn't happen? He would have told his friend the truth...That what makes this part 2 a little difficult to believe...But at least you tried to clean her name and reputation...

And anything Jack, Laura or Kay throw at him had better be accepted as his due. There is nothing he can say, nothing he can do, no amount of penance he can perform to undo, to fix his heinous act because if my best friend did that to my wife, I would castrate him.

And I don't mean his face. Sounds like they used the 5 days he was gone to get their story together.

Secondly you are correct about FTDS. LOL. The LW reader's " Sword of Damocles". Thanks for the follow up

I both agree and disagree with Carvohi.

I think that chapter 2 serves as a more favorable rewrite, with an intended better ending. Better, if only because it is more complete(?)......less left dangling.

I disagree that the author needed to delve deep(er) into the emotional states of the players, in order to make the reconcilliation believable. I actually think that Magma's characters stayed stylistically astute and true to themselves and the situation. There WAS the periods of reflection. There WAS the expression of remorse. There WAS a desire to fix it. The misunderstandings, once defined, as to them NOT being believable? That is just a pessimistic audience response. However, after chapter one, I believed that she HAD gone back to fuck Jack again, that she WAS masterbating to thoughts of Jack instead of Dean, and that her slick pussy WAS evidence of the ongoing adultery. However, after chapter 2, I found that I CAN better believe her version of events. The misunderstanding, and lack of communication (you know-talking it out), adding to Dean's need for revenge, that was born out of his own insecurity. But moreover, it is really just Magma's characters. They usually have a built-in honesty and simplicity that makes portraying Laura as some sinister scheming manipulator ridiculous. If anything, Kay gets the banner of main instagator, however, even in this, Kay is more after fun and experimentation rather then trying to break up any marriages or friendships here. So then is it, or isn't it right that she gets the full measure of Dean's revenge? Hmm.....

Yes, we all must agree, that it really was rape. Sad, but......even for Dean, instantly regrettable.

Perhaps it was to the strength of Magma's characterization of her(Kay), that she was empathetic and understanding enough to forgive Dean, while also protecting Jack with her silence? In this quandry, we arrive at the head scratching moment, and Magma succeeds in giving his readers somthing to think about.

So as to "the different thing entirely" in the title, what are we really comparing?

Swinging with full participation VS. flirting and more behind the spouses back as cheating? (This SEEMED clear after only reading chpt. 1)

----OR-----

Rape VS. Revenge?

----OR-----

BFFs VS. Rivals?

Either way, as always, nothing will ever be resolved without talking AND listening (communication 101) and the conventional wisdom delivered by the motel/restaurant owner.

And after talking it out finally, I think Dean realizes that for ANY of the cunundrums encountered here, the right and wrong of it all wouldn't be so easily compartmentalized. So instead of being "a different thing entirely", these are really more alike than they are different. And when it comes to problems of commuication, everyone is to blame, and it is never just the fault of only one person.

Thanks Magmaman! I think you achieved your goals, AND improved this story. I am sorry to hear about your medical issues, and really appreciate your efforts to continue to contribute here. Thank you Very MUCH!

Wishing you the best of luck, with 5 stars!

I agree with the comments both pro and con. What bothers me is Jack's comment in the bar. How could his saying that he fucked Laura again make things better? I think they did do it and used the 5 day absence to get their story straight. They were all so upset about Dean running off that they went bowling?? What a diss on him and lends credence to the 2nd fucking episode

This time I won't explain anything, except to say that like always, some do not really READ the story, thus assume. That's OK, I don't mind at all if someone doesn't like my poor efforts (he lied.)

lol

IS there another chapter in the works?

Yeah. Has to be, huh? Jack doesn't yet know what Dean did, odds are he won't be happy.

As far as me and being down for awhile, just getting some new pipes installed in the old ticker, amazing how easy that is to do in today's world, and amazing the difference it makes! If it's good enough for that Ginsberg gal on the Supreme Court, it's good enough for me.

MGM

Dean had obvious trouble, and in full knowledge of his problems and needs, Laura had gone out alone for a whole Saturday, came home drunk, left serious answers open, was suspiciously wet and horny, and despite all that she had no idea why he left without a word? She felt no need to search for her supposedly beloved husband?

He was lost for nearly a week and she quietly went out bowling with the other couple?

If really not unfaithful physically on that Saturday outing (why should anybody believe it), she was at least mentally unfaithful (longing for Jack's big dick). Totally innocent? No need for him to be upset? No need for at least an open confession?

Jack as much as hinted a tryst with both women on that Saturday, and nevertheless he thinks he is entitled to get revenge for the well deserved punch?

And the most troubling thing with this continuation: it just needs a few words by an old waitress for Dean to get repentent, believe all the bullshit (another commenter: they had five days to get their stories straightened) and take all the blame including a broken nose of his own?

If Laura really missed Dean and loved him so much, why did she siden with the other couple and not accept the least bit of guilt on herself? Just a silly hubby who takes it to serious when his wife has fun with friends? A threesome really is "a different thing entirely than a swapping"!

Not your best idea for a continuation...

(The famous FTDS would have left torched earth...)

magmaman not wanting to explain but let a reader try. Laura's account of what happened is not a story she put together to tell Dean. Magma narrated what happened from her point of view. So in reading the story we are inside her head seeing what she saw, and feeling what she felt, not listening to her tell a story about what happened. If you want to believe that Laura "really" had sex with Jack, then you have to suppose that she's had false memories implanted by aliens or something like that.

Some of the brethren just want so bad for every LW story to be about a treacherous no-good woman who gets sold to white slavers or gets AIDs or at least has a miserable life ever afterwards that they can't handle a wife who is neither a paragon or a slut, just a ordinary mediocre person. Magmaman's characters are as close to real people as you'll find on Lit, and not everybody appreciates that.

I can understand Dean's POV. If it had been me, I'd have probably kept on driving. I would be too infuriated to go back even though part was my fault. Sloppy (mistaken) seconds wouldn't cut it. Makes me a schmuck? So be it. Cheers!

Sorry. I forgot to mention. Good reading and writing. Danka! Cheers!

First, well written: bravo. But, a continuation is going to get very difficult. Jack will end up fucking Laura, and thereby fucking up what remains of Laura and Dean's marriage. Jack and Kay don't seem that tight anyway, so their marriage could go either way, and who cares? Any attempt to end with a swapping or polyamory scenario will simply leave out the future results, which are loss of respect, love, trust, and of course the marriages. Too hokey for the couples to just exchange spouses and carry on with their lives. Please don't do that to us. Quite a pile of wood you've stacked up here. Can't wait to see if you can cut it.

Dean as an initiator had no idea of what he was letting himself in for and the whole "wife swapping" mindset is, in reality, purely emotion based. True parity of experience does not and can not exist. The crux of the matter is making the decision that both partners are no longer committed to monogamy and their traditional views of marriage.

I for once believe that monogamy offers many many benefits to a relationship and once it is discarded trust, security, and joint purpose go out the window regardless of how the "players" want to rationalize it. Essentially my total partner becomes my part time partner and the notion of "it's just sex" is an intellectual conceit at best.

Laura and Dean do not share a common view or understanding of the profound changes that came with the first swap experience. Further it is apparent that Laura trivializes Dean's feelings as evidence in her callously going out "shopping" while getting drunk and, in reality, fooling around behind Dean's back. Betrayal does not require penetration, oral, or even hand manipulation. Betrayal is a matter of intent and I have no doubt that Laura intended to go as far as she did. She betrayed Dean and she so minimized his hurt that she didn't try to find common ground with him after the drunken shopping fooling around adventure. She just didn't care.

Jack made the problem worse because he apparently has no conception of loyalty to the marriage or principal relationships. He just wants to get his ashes hauled and its perfectly willing to trade his wife in order to do so. Jack is a jerk and was no help in the bar when Dean was moved to hit him.

Dean, one of the initiators, let it go too far and his subsequent behavior with Jack's wife was reprehensible. There is no excuse for rape in any context.

I don't see Dean and Laura getting on the same page on the monogamy issue. Laura will acquiesce but not really "grok" what the problem is. It's all a lark to her and, if she thought Dean was for it would eagerly do it again.

Jack and Kay are a lost cause and ultimately their marriage will suffer, no matter the protestations of the free love wife swapping crowd. The total connection between them is already broken.

It will be interesting to see how magmaman works this out. It's a well written, well crafted tale from an upper tier writer that pushed my buttons and made me think as well. Thanks for the fine work.

This second chapter was mostly a retelling of the first(which you warned us about). Then it got into the real problem towards the end. Dean was willing to jump Kay and enjoy the experience to its fullest. Its only when he saw his wife and Jack doing the same that he (dean) got all bent out of shape. All were responsible for the "incident", and should have been good with it or at least talked about things. But Dean was the snake in the grass. He wanted to play with Kay and every one else was to think it would be ok. Laura and Jack were not suppose to do anything. How selfish and childish can one man be? Sadly there is a lot of that these days. And that kind of thinking ruins a lot of what could and should be good times and good marriages.

Almost forgot... this is a good story and it is well written. When you get to feeling better, there is a lot more you could write on this one. But its good as is too. Lets one put their own ending to it..lol

And I suspect, could go to jail for aggravated assault (the bottle is a weapon and can maim or kill). He could even be charged with sexual assault, but probably won't since Kay won't tell the police. As others have mentioned, the first half of the story rambled and repeated nearly all of part one -- a good editor might help in the future. I don't believe the couple could ever really be friends after Dean went crazy.

I don't believe for one single minute that Jack didn't come home and take one look at Kay and know something had happened. The real ending would have been Jack never going over to Dean's house but going straight to the Police. Assault and battery for Dean's breaking his nose in the bar (plenty of witnesses). Assault, battery and rape for his attack on Kay. Even if it didn't come right out, eventually Kay is going to tell Jack the truth. This friendship is over and Dean is going to jail for a long time. Right where he belongs. There's no way all four of them put this incident behind them. It will always be there, right under the surface, festering. Even for fiction your ending was disgusting.

couldn't read last page, wish hadn't read 1st page

2 stars

Was surprised that though the original writer is the same, it didn't feel that way. Instead of a continuation it felt more like reimagining of the story. The two parts are similar but don't entirely match as in the scene leading to the assault on Jack.

This cleared things up but frankly I preferred the ambiguity of original installment. My fault though , not MGM's , for following up on the sequel. Things went too trailer.park for my taste. Get well soon please.

Guess I'm just a sucker for a happy ending.

.....come out and Jack will have cause to blow them all to hell. That Laura so easily got over Dean's infidelity is disturbing in its own right, but Kay and Dean have a lot to answer for.

I wanna see Jack find out and have him impregnate Laura.

... Maybe this one would be better off just left to die of natural causes. I really don't think that there's much you can do to fix it at this stage. As my dearly departed mother once said "You really can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear".

I was one of those who wanted you to finish this story, but, I'm sorry you did as now I feel let down by both parts. I personally thought the original was 1 of the top 5 LW stories on this site. This chapter however disappointed me greatly, it was disjointed, uneven & definitely no where close to the first chapter's standard. I think it was because you spent 50 -60 % rehashing the 1st part from different people's pov which wasn't really necessary or in fact helpful in advancing the story. Also after Dean's almost rigid take on liars & cheaters I found it hard to believe that a couple of hours spent talking to Maggie would convince him to return so easily to Laura. Sorry but I just couldn't really get into this one at all. 2 **

In part one Laura stated that she lied to Dean about what she was doing at Kay and Deans house. Which meant she was fucking either him or both of them. Here in chapter 2 it was stated that all they did was show the new bikini and have drinks. Because of this I cannot rate or even give my review of this tale. Funny no one else mentioned it.

no rating

As much as Dean hated infidelty he was the only cheater here and also technically a rapist. even though she ended up liking it she still told him no.

but this chapter not as strong as the first. Not because of how it ended, but because it sort of fizzled. I guess that is natural, given his choice to return and the quasi rape of Kay. Perhaps, him deciding not to return, because of the rape, but the wife finding out and tracking him down. I think that would have been more powerful. Seeing her wrestle with that revelation undermined the power of him coming back and reconciling.

Interesting how he disappears for five days and yet Jack shows up at his house just as he returns.

Yes, the ending does beg for a continuation. She didn't cheat. She was in the bathroom masterbating to the thought of her husband? That seems hard to believe given her internal musings about how Jack gave her the best orgasms ever. We have to accept that she was getting off to the thought of hubby, because it was her own internal musings. It just seems unlikely given the circumstances. It would be natural to be reminiscing about the earlier fuck with Jack, and yet still never want to do it again and be committed to her husband. It was just an interesting fact, and I could easily see another twist in this story.

“Watching as Jack had sex with Laura had bothered Dean, that much was clear. He didn't say anything, but it did cast a pall over the aftermath.”

If THEY noticed that Dean was bothered, why didn’t Laura?

“Yet Dean had actually started it, so his reaction was hard to understand.”

Dean started it? He was putting lotion on Kay’s BACK, gave Jack lotion, presumably to put on Laura’s back, then JACK started things by reaching around to Laura’s breasts!

Okay, she DIDN’T have a threesome, but Jack obviously wanted to, and his remarks to Dean sure made it SEEM that way, so he has no beef with Dean for clocking him!

Frankly, after they get done with their bowling I think the two couples need to take a break from each other, they are obviously a little too close for comfort!

Jack is an ass!

As a man, he HAS to know what his comments signified to Dean; to get mad at his normal reaction to it is crazy!

Jack should never had said he tagged the 2 of them together, I would have knocked him out too.

probably more than once. She was almost constantly masturbating after fucking him. And give me a break, it wasn't her husband she was thinking of. You don't lock the door to the bathroom to masturbate thinking of your husband. Yeah, Jack seemed to know a whole lot about what was going on with Dean and Laura. And Laura was so very comfortable being naked in front of everyone that first time. And she also called Jack and warned him that Dean was looking for him. Disloyal to her husband. And no reaction from her when he confessed to rough fucking Kay. Didn't seem to bother her a bit. I don't like Laura in this story. She's a cheating bitch who even lies to herself. And she also got the goop from Kay that would make Dean last longer while fucking because he always came too quickly for her. Or at least he did after Jack made her cum more times than ever.

Deans a dumbass, Jacks an asshole, Both women are sluts. All in all a pretty good story

the two marriage will not stand the test of time... the swapping will slide to meetings at some undisclosed bedroom.. but only ONE set will not know of the swapping.. It was a beer bottle the first time and the last time it will be a bullet(s) putting the end to relationship or the lack thereof.

and pay the price.

Jack and Kay have the morals of a dog and bitch in heat; and he is still going to socialize with them? You can't fix stupid.

Laura becomes a regular 3some with Kay and Jack. They get caught. He forces Jack to give him all his money. The puts a bullet in him and toss him into the ocean over a cliff. Then takes all his money from a escrow account from his house, takes all his money then splits to Europe. Leaving them both pregnant from Jack and penney less from him. They both turn into whores in a short time living on the street after their children taken from them.

Retelling the same story over and over again is just boring unless done by a master. At first I thought this chapter opened with a long, slow overview of the last chapter... and then I realized that except for the last few paragraphs the whole thing was a long slow retelling of the first chapter over and over again.

@Pappy7, maybe I missed it but I don’t believe she locked the bathroom door when she masturbated.

As others have said, Jack’s remarks made it seem that he had a threesome with Kay and Laura, true or not he HAD to know that that was how Dean would take it, and he has no right to blame him for his reaction.

And yes, the couples SHOULD take a break from each other.

Did I just reread chapter 1?

Not just the obvious one about how much she drank with Kay. She says in Ch. 2:

"No way could she ever admit to Dean that her climax with Jack exceeded anything she had ever known before.

"That would crush him, of that she was well aware.

"So she kept silent about it, hoping that he would not ask. Laura had never lied to Dean, it was something she never wanted to have to do."

But he did ask, and she did lie, in Ch. 1:

"So? What did Jack feel like? I saw he is pretty big." Dean felt silly asking that but he did anyway.

"Yea, it was. It hurt a little bit. He was OK I guess." Her tone shifted to defensive.

"It sure didn't look like it hurt any." Dean blurted out.

"Well. I mean..." Laura's voice trailed off.

KarenE is right, as usual. These couples need to separate, before Jack nails Laura again, with or without Kay.

Their reconciliation was rushed to the point of embarrassment. You spent paragraphs on rehashing what had happened and then him running off and within a few words they were reunited. No angst, no emotion, no doubt, no recrimination etc etc. Pretty lazy fare.

I liked this story and here's why. The points of view of the characters. I really liked each character seeing things differently and feeling like real people. I can clearly see Dean and Laura's POV and Jack and Kay's too. The story itself could have been tighter in its narrative, but the author did warn us about his writing so okay. Now, are there things that don't make sense to me? Yes. But it's not my story. I'm sure everyone sees things differently and so finds something they don't like in the story. One of my questions is the reaction of both Kay (to the angry sex with Dean) and Laura's (to being told about it). Another is, during the 5 days Dean was gone, did Kay tell Laura what happened? Because it seems to me she did based on this;

"She hasn't told him, honey. Maybe it's best she never does." In which case what else did they talk about and what conclusion or agreement was made? I have more, but those are the ones that stand out. I would like to see more chapters written, but I don't think that is likely. Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

I gave it a 2 not the same story! Can't just change the facts like this. In the first one Jack started eating her before anyone did anything but touch breasts her husband could have stopped it but he didn't his bad. I see the main issue as her going back over there without her husband and doing a threesome yes she did or jack wouldn't have said it was his turn to be with both the girls next this is where the author messed up for me, too much of a major factor to act like it didn't happen in a second chapter. Shame on the author!

ASSUMING she's telling the truth, and since we're in her head I guess we have to, you played unfair with us in the first part making what he thought seem perfectly accurate.

But Laura saying that Dean started it does NOT agree with Ch 01! Yes, Dean was the first to put lotion on the SIDES of Kay's breasts,but then Jack moved from the sides and cupped her entire breasts. And after Dean responded with putting lotion on the front of Kay's breasts, Jack then KISSED Laura, and while Dean responded with Kay, Jack had Laura down on the bed petting her. While Dean led Kay to the couch Jack was tugging Laura's pants down, and it was KAY pulling down Dean's pants. So, no, Dean did NOT start it!

Yes, thanks, I had forgotten that part!

There is no other way to interpret that other than they had a threesome!

U got it..jftfs.

Feels more like a retcon than an ending, and it simply rehashed too much. Different POVs should add something new not just go through almost the same stuff several times.

Quick points:

Laura...at least 2 nights masturbating>>>who was her object? I think remembering Jack.

Spending the day with Kay & Jack...very suspect.

Laura actually allowed the sexual encounter to get under way...not Dean...excuses!

Laura hugging bare chested on the beach with a stud - she wasn't squeamish at all.

Granted Dean was aroused, Laura did that to him easily. Laura allowing Jack to fondle her tits and then kiss her...well...confusion for only a brief moment followed by fervent sexual encounter with no hesitation.

Dean doing what he did with Jack - Fine. Dean going after Kay with sex, not good but I think THAT was his final goodbye and should have stayed that way.

From what you write in the first chapter...Laura was just sexy and permissive enough to let things get out of hand and proceed to having sex...she was aroused and wanted sex.

Finally, she really enjoyed Jack so do you really want us to believe that she didn't masturbate with his memory and do you really think that she wouldn't do it again...sober - maybe, a few drinks and she and Kay would be in the bedroom with Jack.

Nice guy, nice try in the end...it just doesn't wash.

Not one of your better stories

Try the info about serial cheating wife on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com for inspiration

Female college instructor in Helena Montana loses job when that info got out

Yep!

This was a pleasant wrapup of a very tense finish to Ch.01.

Did yo plan it this way from the start of did you have to add some elements; like Kay's vaginal cream.

And I still believe Jack had a threesome in Ch. 01. So there! :o)

Yeah, not much else to say. 2nd Ch doesn't match up to the 1st. Poor second chapter....poor second chapter

Why did you bother?

2nd chapt was total wimp out!

Because you didn't finish it and Laura never told Dean the truth about sex with Jack while he was completely honest with her.

Also, Kay is deceiving her husband as well.

This is too stupid a situation to continue without truth and they have honestly severely damaged their friendship!

Bowling my ass! I would divorce Laura for dumping me in the hospital and still hanging out with Jack after everything that has transpired.

Too fucking stupid!

In your first chapter, you painted Dean as a reluctant participant, simply following along. Kay offered her boobs to Dean, Laura was lightly masturbating until Jack started spreading lotion on her boobs - you wrote it was obvious to Dean that Jack was grasping her whole breast - then Dean did the same to Kay. Jack started kissing Laura first then Dean followed with Kay. Jack pulled off Laura's panties, then Dean did the same with Kay, out on the couch. Nothing in the first chapter showed Dean as the instigator. Yet in the second chapter, both Jack and Laura, at different times, were curious as to why Dean was upset because he's the one who started it all!

In the second chapter, you go to great lengths to paint Jack, Laura, and Kay as poor little innocent lambs, wide-eyed and confused as to why mean ole Dean was upset with them - they only had his best interests at heart! No one did anything wrong, heaven forbid! No, they were all concerned about crazy Dean, their best friend in the world, someone they'd all do anything for. But Dean beat up Jack, practically raped poor Kay, and unjustly accused the faithful wife who loves him so much! Thank goodness they're so much more mature, faithful, and loving toward Dean than he is towards them. They forgave him his stupidity, forgetting all his transgressions, and offered to move forward as if nothing had ever happened! What wonderful people!

I can't stand authors who rely on their magic wands to suddenly turn everything upside down, inside out. Perhaps you find it clever, I don't. Deus ex machina, indeed! It's a cheap form of intellectual dishonesty which seldom delights your readers.

You should of had Dean on the road to another parts of the country starting his life over..would of been more interesting telling his new life experiences.

your wife gave you all the cream she could until the day she died. To bad the cream was other men's cum! hehehehehe Now you have to live with that the rest of your retard life. She is still laughing from her grave you fucking asshole

Vote 1* for 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐌𝐁 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄™ (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka NEEDYOU200 aka 5+ANNONY!

I felt that a good part of this chapter was an attempt to show Laura's perception of events. It helps to make the ending a little more appealing, except for Dean's sexual assault of Kay. Now that looks much worse.

I think that if you are going to do something like this, it would be better to do it on an out of town vacation or with a couple that you meet in a bar. And don't exchange contact info. Then it would truly be a one time thing and there would be no fear of one partner or the other secretly hooking up. You could have the fun of the event with far fewer potential repercussions.

Too much going over everything with no one talking to each other. Sounds British, with silence between spouses. Finally getting to the, "You've got to talk to each other," stage was artificial and too late. Gathering it up was wimpy.

This by far is a sorry ass story, the only part that was coherent was the end of the story. And it left more questions than answers. like why did jack make that comment about trying them both together? if nothing happened? then Laura wanted to know what happened to Kay, when he told her she went to the bedroom, how did Jack know Deans was home and that he would answer the door. Kay never told Jack what Dean had done to her. How did Laura know that, since she had apparently just heard about it herself. Was there something Laura wasn't telling Dean also? I don't believe she had stopped doing it with Jack especially the way she had enjoyed him the first time she did it. But knowing the way Dean reacted the first time he saw her with Jack, I don't think she was going to tell him anything between her and Jack.

I think to many of you watch Dr. Phil way to much, some of the shit your sprouting is from his hand book. I'm your moral compass, I'm the least judgemental person you'll ever meet, mean while God sends all who have problems to him, so it seams like many of you are his disciples. The simple point is that he and Kay were finished, and Jack was still pounding into Laura with his bigger cock and giving her more orgasms then he ever did, no man wants to be his wife second or worst last good fuck. It was obvious that Laura got a better fuck from Jack then she did from Dean. If they really love their spouse they should never embark on such a foolish path, there will never be the quality of love in both marriages. how could they remain friends, dean will never trust Laura not to sneak off and fuck Jack Laura wouldn't trust Dean not to sneak over and fuck Kay while Jacks not around, how about Jack and Kay, Kay saw how Jack wanted to fuck Laura at the bikini fitting. If the opportunity presented it self he would fuck Laura in a heartbeat , and I think Laura would capitulate. I don't think Dean and Kay would hookup but the way Laura and Jack were in this story I think they would, the way Laura recalled her collage days, and Jack what he said about having both women, and that Dean should do the same. To me Jack was a bit of a player, and a bit of a sleaze . I'm not saying, just saying

This was a really interesting story about how people can easily get pulled to the "edge of the cliff" and go right over, without realizing what they're doing. I've done similar things myself. And once over the edge, all you can do is try to think of how to fix it, knowing you never really can. It didn't seem to me that the story wasn't ended - I think you ended it real well. In real life, you would probably just go ahead and try to make your way through things, there wouldn't be a black or white "this is the way it will be." I really like your style of writing.

KAY! Sexually adventurous, Kay started the ball rolling on the beach and at the house. She was wanting to go nude on the beach. Later, when it was time for lotion, Kay gave the lotion, not to her husband, but to Dean. Dean and Laura had ample opportunity to stop the swap but didn’t while Jack and Kay seemed to want to play. Jack shot his dumb mouth off, intimating something that didn’t happen. Laura, Kay and Jack all knew there was something wrong but did nothing to get the issue out in the open. So, both Laura and Jack lied to Dean, Laura even setting up her husband once she used the vaginal cream. Jack was ready for seconds after seeing Laura in Kay’s bikini while Kay was encouraging it. Dean on the other hand, operated on the facts as he understood them but not necessarily as they truly were. Then Dean made the stupid decision to act on it causing further damage to his marriage. Of course, some writers love to create these stories where a man and his wife fail to have the meaningful dialogue that clears the air. Of course, Laure sould have to admit to having become a size queen. Dean had thoughts but didn’t give voice to them. Laura did likewise. Miss anything?

Gave both parts ( 1 & 2 ) 5 stars but only commenting here. Very well written story dealing with the real emotional backlash of swapping wives for one man. The hurt and pain are presented in a level fashion. I can read about it but it would bother me like it did this guy. Slowly eat away and consume the feelings of love and trust in the relationship like cancer.

Good primer on why you shouldn't swap, cheat, or lie. You should talk, and put your opponent down hard enough that he doesn't get up.

As a re-write to get to a certain conclusion. Tweaking the previous facts to alter the outcome.

In the original, Jack told him that he should try both women at once, how great it was. Then told him he should watch both women together with each other. Now you say none of that happened. Then why would Jack say it? For what reason would he make it up? Why was Laura stretched out when they attempted sex?

Like I said, less a sequel, more a re-write.

This is the fourth story I have read where the story is not finished. This is becoming old. Please read any of the short stories by Stephen King (i.e. The Mist). Great endings!

It doesn’t need any more.

the 2nd chapter detracted from the first tho - and not because of the end.

Can't see them being friends again in the real world.

Wife sharing did not work out for Dean. His wife even admitted the other man gave her the best sex ever.

Dean wasn't made from that kind of material where he could let his wife give him sloppy seconds.

That could be the 3rd chapter. Their marriage slowly dying, rotting from within from Dean sharing his wife with Jack.

I think Dean and Laura's marriage is finished.

The huge problem is that Dean watched Laura get pounded by Jack for 15 minutes and saw her cumming multiple times. Understandably, she avoided telling her husband that she'd just had the best sex of her life, because it would make Dean feel totally inadequate. But Laura doesn't have to tell Dean how much she loved being fucked by Jack, because her husband already knows. He saw them together!

This chapter didn't address this problem.

I read lots of comments here condemning Dean for raping Kay. If you reread chapter 1, he was trying to punish her, but she was an enthusiastic participant:

"Kay had looked surprised when he knocked on the door earlier that afternoon, then she had grinned."

Kay started grinning because she knew Dean was there to fuck her and she was totally up for it.

"He didn't even go soft after the first time, so he simply pounded her again."

All completely consensual at this point. Yes, it was rough sex, but Kay was wild and sexually adventurous... and Dean was giving her what Mr. Floppycock couldn't.

"At first when she realized what he was going to do, she struggled, but Dean was far too strong."

Kay didn't resist Dean at the start. She only started struggling when Dean decided to fuck her in the ass. Kay doesn't tell him "No" or "Stop", she says: "Nobody ever...." She was trying to warn him that she was an anal virgin. She got into it as soon as he was inside her, then they carried on until he finished (and presumably so did she).

"Damn, you are something else! I never felt anything like that before!"

Dean gave Kay the best sex of her life. He went over there to give her a hate-fuck, but she loved it... even him roughly taking her anal virginity.

When writing a sequel there is no need to go over the initial incident form a second POV if is adds nothing

Also what is the point in writing a sequel if you are going to contradict the original

In the original Jack admitted to "having" them both at once and saying Dean will enjoy it when its his turn

In the original Kay enjoyed the sex with Dean

Now you have them not having sex, so what exactly is Dean supposed to enjoy?

Now you have both Dean practically raping Kay, but no one cares?

Jack cares more about the bowling league than the fact his wife either cheated on him or was raped?

This squeal is an entirely different thing

Crash and burned their marriage. Jack could never be a real friend again. Dean already sees that no matter what was said in the end.

Dean needs to start figuring out an exit strategy to get away from that insanity. Dean is not into Laura that way now. Doesn't trust her, doesn't want to touch her, and doesn't enjoy her company.

That could be chapter 3. Dean gets out of town and starts over someplace else with someone new.

As i said great story great writer. Hope you get better soon. I cant believe some of these people with there comments.No matter what, you will never satisfy everyone,there are always going to be thick readers.

All it did was rehash the first chapter from a different point if view, then contradict it and wimp out the ending, very poor

So the sex talk between the two ladies had thrown me for a loop.

One says Jack just stuffs his dick win her and that is about it. She uses lube. But she says sex with Dean was awesome and he is a steal rod and she could actually feel him cum like she was being shot.

The other says Jack was the best sex she ever had and orgasmed three times which was more than she has ever had period. Only orgasmed twice in her life up to that point.

So is this some strange case where their physical build comes into play?

Whole story is just too sordid for me.

After making a suspense in the part one, ended it with a moronic rape, one could expect you could repair that with some plot in part 2. Yet, you made some infantile repeat, brought nothing new and ended it with a banality.

I did not read any of your other stories but if this one is representative then they were not worth reading anyway.

I don't think I've ever seen a story that donuthole liked. He's much.worse than I am. I've enjoyed a few, including this one.

I would have left that witch Laura again for good for letting jack know he was back…

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Is that the moral here? Or is it just a celebration of cultural rot? BTW, the woketard handwringing over "rape" is asinine. There was NO rape, just a SNAG demonstrating that his cognitive faculties are as defective as the rest of his character.

An absorbing tale of insecurity and self-righteous hypocrisy. The second part of the story lacked the intensity of the first and the ending left a lot of unanswered questions - especially how the two couples' relationship could survive Dean's emotional instability.

LA

Totally on the fence with this one.

Stupid story and poor writing.

I am confused. You told a story and then instead of finishing it you spent 2 + charters retelling it? Then when you could have used the 2+ to finish it you crap out in the end. WTF. you realize your writing isn't bad...right? This played like a soldier I new who was diagnosed with ADDHD. Quick response under [pressure i ever saw but he could not finish a thought when it wasn't reactionary. Finish this or at least write a epilogue.

Wow, Kay is a real slut and his wife is OK with what happened?

I,v read this before, a few years ago I think, it somehow really gets into my head and I get a really bad feeling in me, just a silly story but I can relate to it somewhere deep inside me. It’s never happened to me so it jumps has to be how it’s written, very well .

If Laura's version of what happened when she was over at Jack & Kay's is true then what Jack says in the bar about both women together and that Dean should have the next chance doesn't make any sense.

Either Jack is lying or Laura is lying.

No finish to a story is as bad as it gets. Also Dean is being set up by the other three, What is it with you that your L/W stories just hang there like rotten fruit. I am out.