All Comments on 'If The Price Is Right'

I have to say that this was one of the most beautifully written stories that I have ever read. Personally I like TG fiction and would so love you to include a story with this theme. But that would be splitting hairs as your talents are clearly best used on a topic that is close to YOUR heart. Many thanks

Thanks WM... I love how the story ends... beautifully written..

Such a great story, artfully told... except it ends when it logically shouldn't. Just as the boy in the story must practice coitus interuptus... so does the story itself: a hurried, unnatural ending. Perhaps that was your artisic point, I dunno. But in any case the ending was unsatisfying. Actually that's a lie (obviously: I rated the story at 100%)... the truth is the ending is exceedingly frustrating.

His sister earning her $150 is an important part of the story. Especially since it represents the passing of a huge threshhold and the breaking of her final taboo. Also we don't learn if she got pregnant, if they took precautions, if they goy lucky (not that kind of "got lucky"... the other kind); and we also don't really know what motivated her to allow him to hit the grand-slam, so-to-speak. We can make assumptions, but those details are not explicit in the text. The sort of detailled character work you do, and that makes your work appealing, makes it neccessary for you to have explored these details in your story.

However. I really loved the story. It has appealling characters, lyrical flow and a hummin' plot. I just wish it didn't leave me hangin'

well written and keeps your attention, looking forward to the next step and not disappointing you when you get there.

so real and makes one think of their younger selves. Thank you very much.

Literotica has undoubtably the very best short story writers that can be found. I have read hundreds of stories and then I will come across one that is really special such as yours.

I have my favorites and continually look for new material and you are right up there at the top. Again, thank you.

The story was great, but the $150 night would have been a great addition, as would hearing whether or not Liz ever conceived and how the two of them might have dealt with the anxiety of not knowing whether or not she had. Overall, a simply great story, well-told and short enough to be read in less than a day (unlike most of the mini-series that are filling this topic). I also would love to hear about the further exploits at the camp in a future edition.

Thanks for a well written, exotic story. As an English Woman I think the style and easy way the story developed was excellent. Not to heavy on the sex, just nice and balanced.

Wonder why I read the Incest stories.. I had a relationship with my brother, it started in a similar way to your story. Thanks for the beautiful memories.

Veronica Blake

As usual you have turned out another excellent story.

The beginning is the end and you build the story to it

Wonderful! Great job.

I have probably read over half of the stories on this web site and never rated any story. So if my comment is brief its the only one I've ever made. Excellent story.

My cock is so hard right now I could paint the walls. Great story, wish I had a sister!

One of the best I have ever read on the subject - well presented. Keep up the great writing as in my humble opinion, you are one of the best

Perfect ending for a great story. I add my vote to those that think the author is one of the best writers at Literotica. Thanks for a great read.

I've never rated nor commented on any stories here, and have been reading them for several months now. Your story not only had the erotic detail to make any reader happy, it had a great plot that was masterfully woven. An amazing story!

Great! Great! Well written, great sex, great characters, really beautiful plot!

I have spent the last two years of my life reading everything I can from all sections of this wonderful site. Nothing that I have ever read has come close to this peice of work. This is even more astounding since very rarely do I not read a non-top list story. Your only competition is BatsandGlamour.

Totaly awesome, beyond cool, "the best story ever" should be its new title. English is failing to describe how good that story was.

Thank you so much for writing a story about making love, not just having sex. The part about the sister giving her virginity to her brother made me absolutely melt. You truly are akin to W.S. Thanks again!

I've read many stories on this site that have made me want to rip off my dick wanking, but this is the first one that actually made me want to sob like a baby. If it's not true it should be. A very nice job.

I swear that was the best story i have read from Literotic.com, I really enjoyed how you ended it with the tie in to the $150 acummulated over the, *counts on fingers* almost 2 years, correct? Great ending to a great story. I voted you a five on the poll, although I believe it was a 10. Peace out keep writing you got talent.

Tsuki

Regarding the last sentence of your excellent story, note that Benjamin Franklin was never US President. Franlkin died on 1790-04-17, just under a year into Washington's first term.

This story was very well written, plotted, and executed. Nice little surprise at the end. A pleasure to read.

A gentle, touching, sublime story. Wonderfully crafted. Thank you.

What can I say that hasn't already been said?

Stylishly written with a wonderfully engaging scenario. The cute little twist at the end was the icing on the cake.

Well done.

A young mans first experience with sex told with great humor. This is a story you can come back and read again and again, each time enjoying it as much as on the first read. One of the best.

The only comment is use your spell check, a lot of mistakes detracts from the story line.

Really enjoyed your writing.

Makes me remember my dreams of long ago.

Keep up the good work.

Incredible! I've never read a another story like it. Makes me feel like I need to put much more thought into my own stories. Thanks!

tons of things made this amazing... thats all i can say.

Really Good I like your style of writing no silly huge boobs or whatever [you're huge!!!]dick sizes

The Story is highly believable very realistic compare to tons of crap I've read[with high rating and wack storylines ]

Honestly

I've read most of your stories, they're page turners, ever think of doing screen plays..your good

All I can say is .... That was amazing. thank you

Unbelievable! One would almost believe you lived your stories. They are beautiful, tender and loving. Definately not what most think of as porn. They are love stories. Keep going!!!

This was a wonderful story that ended perfectly! I cannot wait to read more of your submissions. Thank you for one of the best, if not the best story that I have read.

You truely captured the pains, thrills and responsibilities of sex and sexual discovery. After the first couple of chapters, I wasn't sure I would want to go all the way to the end. But by then, I couldn't put it down.

It's so nice to read a story that isn't just "slam, bam and (maybe even a) Thank you mam."

If you proof your work solo, think about having someone with a critical eye check for spelling and typos.

Thanks for an enjoyable read.

The best story on this website.

How could anyone vote less than a perfect "five " on any of your stories. Unbelievably good, Can't imagine anyone with such talent not making a living at it. It's we who benefit but every story I read of yours, leaves me astounded at the sensitivity, love, romance, tenderness, even though i know how it is sure to end I am blown away.

Wonderful ending!

Super plot and fantastic ending. You have quite an imagination.

This is a great story,the writing is excellent,build up is fantastic and the conclusion just makes you want to hear more.Great job

I don't know if I've ever read a better story.Not just suck-lick-fuck,but a real story.After years of reading the stories all sound the same,but this one LIVED.Thank you.

Excellent story. Who cares about spelling, punctuation, etc. Nit-pickers are nose pickers! Jealous people. I loved it. Will be looking for more on this story line. WOW! How cool was that?

Yobo36

I had an inkling about the return of the money and was delighted for it to happen. A precious little story.

Not often you get to see good stories on this site, but yours was the exception. Well done!

u had a submission abt how to write stories... and here i read this story of you with lot of mistake. wasnt good at all.

I've been coming to this site for a while now, and I've never once voted or left a comment until now. 5 Stars, incredibly well deserved.

very good story... nice build up.... GREAT ENDING.....

When a writer, writes well, he knows it. I think you knew that you had done a good job.

The realization of the bank notes in the wallet, which were earlier paid to Liz, creates an unexpected twist in the tale, for which good story writers are famous for.

Thanks for the nice story.

Excellent story.

I loved your story. you made your sister so real.

pls don't let any negative reviews get you down. they have some problem or agenda I don't get.

Captain

Your story was well told, erotic, and so very well developed. The technical aspects of the story were all good (spelling, grammar, etc.) I have contributed several stories to this site, so I understand what it takes to put together a story like this. This was worth the time it took to read it! Thank you.

Just one word describes this story - EPIC. the read was as good the second time as it was the first time.

Sick and vile. As is the writer. "1*" !!

I loved every bit of it. Grammar nazi was quiet as you developed the story and jus plain wow. I would pay for this story. If you ever get it ptinted, ebook or otherwise, lemme know. And if ebook, make it available on nook.... Just sayain.

look up lie and lay so that you can get them right.

Your stuff is so good, I can't believe it. Plot, writing, pacing are all first class.

What a wonderful story and always done with caring and loving affection.

Thanks,

Dan

I was a teenager during the 40's and 50's just as these youngsters probably were. I, sadly, did not have a sister. Actually I knew lots of girls and dated a lot of girls but I was too shy to actually initiate anything. That was a different time and sexual rules were very different. Girls didn't initiate things even if they wanted to start something. If I wanted to see pictures of boobs I went to National Geographic or Modern Photography (Playboy didn't even start publication until after I graduated from HS). What I'm saying is that your story was what I would have fantasized about if I knew more. You are an excellent writer and I really wish to read more of your material. Someone to proofread your material would be useful, but not essential to the readability of the story. Keep up the good work. I'll be looking for more of your material.

I don't know if you come around much anymore, but your story-telling is great. It's always so nicely paced. Thank you

I enjoy your stories! You have a gift and it is sad to see this story is very old. I hope you haven't given up writing!

Really enjoyed this one thanks again. Hope your health is good or at least better than mine. Take care friend

The ending makes it one of the best stories I ever read. It's like a very good movie or a very good book where the ending makes it a very best. Thanks. (I think I will read just the ending lines many times over....)

the boring beginning had nothing to do with the story. I almost fell asleep reading about him buying the camp and shit then the rest of the story had nothing to do with it. sounds like two different people wrote this story.

Very nice. A great sister...i did believe she would return the money

in the end...but fun.

The fives and the twenty had presidents with glassess. Ben Franklin was never president.

Such a wonderful time in a young persons life. I almost wish he had asked her why she gave him her virginity. But . . . I absolutely loved this story. I loved how he was so infatuated with his older sister. Thanks for a great story!

This is a well told story.

I do hope there are more stories about this couple.

Thank you,

Guy

No doubt about it, that was exquisitely Cute... I was feeling more amused the longer I was into it... A few people in the coffee shop looked my way at my loud Chortle at the $ 150 price.. The end was Sweet! Thank You!

that might make this a fun story???

This is the most adorable sex story ever!!!

Need I say more, it was an excellent well written story with just the right amount of love in it. Got any more?

You killed it! The build-up, the flow, the writing, everything was perfect! The 'Charge' was reasonable and could be seen that she was willing and never went out of her way with that. Maybe she decided the amount depending on how much time she wanted to change her mind. 3 months is a long time to think it through. So all I would say is Bravooooo! And I think his sister might have gotten pregnant and she still visited means she might be a single mother or something. They are continuing their relationship away from everyone else. That could be it. Atleast I hope so.

I really liked the story but with all the spelling and grammatical mistakes added to the abrupt ending I gave it a 3. As others said not describing the ending encounter was annoying. I had really enjoyed it up to that despite the errors.

What a nice sister. Teach him well.

Thanks for sharing!

Great story and the ending was a nice twist, very creative 😉

I scored this story a 5 because of the wonderful and loving story that was told, not because of the spelling. Get a better editor or spell checker.

she was a whore

It was a wonderful series of stories about love.

That is one of the nicest, sweetest stories I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. No. B.S.ing back and forth. None the typical “gee, I don’t want to do that, at least not with you. “

And to her credit, his Sister had the PERFECT guy to take her cherry. No worries about him losing it and hurting her. And in the small town like they live in, there was not a syllable uttered regarding who is not a virgin anymore.

Now that I am in the winter of life, I sometimes look back and think what I would do differently. One thing is to be closer to my sister. Without going into detail, it would have benefited us both.

I could have kept her from making one serious mistake, and some others not quite as bad.

At this point, all I can do is hope life repeats and we get a chance totry to do better. Plus, it sure would explain deja’ vu.

Anyway, thank you so much for an enjoyable and thought provoking story.

Al

I think this is one of your better efforts on this site. Five stars for this one.:)

I was hoping she would give back ALL the money back in the end and tell him she wasn't a whore. But she was a whore.

I absolutely loved this story ! Thank you for writing this