All Comments on 'A Almost Perfect Awakening Ch. 13'

obviously if i'm up to chapter 13 you are holding my interest. when compared to much i have read you get straight 5s. However, you are good enough to (I assume)Want constructive critisism. i heard a writer on NPR yesterday say that the revision process for her is identifying the kernel of good writing in a story and working to turn the whole story into the best part of it. i am paraphrasing here & it doesn't seem as clear to me now as it did when she said it. so much for being able to pay you back for your effort here.

I didn't think you would ever get back to this scene! But it was worth the wait.

Was this a missed opportunity or is it even better? The boys could have heard them going at it and walked in...