All Comments on 'Celestial Matters'

This is a very nice an well written story!

Please follow up with sequels!

As the title has said. Will look forward to its sequel!

I enjoyed the plot of this story and enjoyed reading it for its own sake in addition to everything else. I look forward to the sequel.

Really enjoyed it, keep on writing.

Hooked, great story among the very best here. With an ending like that a sequel must be in the offing.

woe unto you, my fine sir. woe unto you....

Very impressive! A great read, truly.

Please, please, please say you aren't ending it here. I LOVED this, but there absolutely must be more!

Great. Can't wait for Chapter2

If you don't write a sequel I will literally hunt you down...

Im impressed by two things. the first the the quality of the plot and character development. the second is how long this chapter is. its obviously taken you a lot of work.

however there are also two problems, both arising from how long this story is. as the story progresses, there is a noticable degradation in proofreading. grammar and spelling started to detract me away from your story. the second problem is that as the story goes on, you start to use "..." SO MUCH. a madeup example: "he started down the stairs...i watched him as he went...and i noticed that the sun was rising". take your time thinking of good sentence structure and transition.

i liked the quotes you had at the beginning of a different viewpoint. didnt mind the shifting view points. good plot, eagerly awaiting a better revised chapter 2. may you never suffer from writers block

Genius. I keep reading it over and over.

love it.. please continue!!

Amazing work

An amazing story.

I also love how the angels claim she's under demonic spell when its the ArchAngel's Spell who makes her subservent to her Awakener.

Can't wait to see where you'll take this story! I very much enjoyed reading it and would love to read more work by you. Please comment to let us know if you're working on the sequel (bonus points if you can give us an idea when the sequel willl be done).

Half demon, quarter angel, quarter human should be an interesting mix.

this is absolutely amazing! I can't wait to read the next part! Please, hurry!

Some ideas were good, but the execution was poor. For example, the reveal of Cariel as Maria's half-sister was a good idea, but so weakly executed that it didn't have any emotional impact. Numerous misspellings (e.g and instead of an) also reduced the immersiveness of the story. The idea of multiple perspectives was a good idea, but the execution was poor - Maria's thoughts went around in circles always revolving around the idea of how horny she is for her "master", which made it very boring, repetitive and tedious to read. I also disliked how she talked and acted like a modern teenage brat when teenagers back in medieval times were much more mature and adult-like (since they had to make a living and weren't sheltered from society like today's teenagers). I would also have liked to see more maturity from both Jon and Devnik: they've lived for hundreds of years so their ideas and planning should be much more thorough than the average guy. I expected to see much more long-term planning from Devnik, not just him reacting to attacks all the time - he should show some long-term initiative rather than just reacting to situations as they occur. Also, I felt that his "turn" from being an evil psychopath to suddenly becoming a loving husband to be too fast and unbelievable. Despite all of what he does, he knows basically nothing about Maria; he should at least be interested in what she wants. Again, teaching her to read was a good idea, but the execution was poor. All we were told is that Devnik "taught" Maria to read, without being told ANY details. If you had added details we could have seen things about Devnik and Maria's character, for example if Devnik is a patient or impatient teacher, if he is an encouraging or harsh teacher, if Maria is an eager or lazy student, if she is sensitive to criticism or not. ALL of these things flesh out the characters' personalities and endear them to us - making them repeatedly have sex and spankings doesn't.

There are also problems with the plot. Why didn't Cariel just take away Maria when she first found her? She could have done it there and then. Her words didn't match up with the facts later revealed in the story. It didn't make sense. If Michael and the other Angels are so busy elsewhere, why is Cariel allowed to come to attack Devnik by herself? If Cariel wasn't allowed to show initiative earlier on, why was she allowed it later? Isn't a 2nd sphere Angel supposed to be like one of the highest-ranking Angels? So why couldn't she have just taken Maria away when she first met her? It doesn't make sense. The explanation offered later also seemed forced and contrived.

Also, there were problems with how fights were written. Why do mortal enemies talk to each other when they fight? It made no sense that Angels would tell stuff to their enemies. It also didn't make sense that Devnik would tell HIS enemies so much information. Aren't enemies supposed to be trying to kill each other? Why would they tell each other the truth? Why would they even talk? It strikes me as stupid.

Also I didn't like we're constantly kept in the dark. As one of the 9 Princes of Hell I expect Devnik to know a lot about his situation, and exert a lot of control over it. Instead we get the sense that he knows nothing about Aethlings, nothing about Heaven or what Heaven is doing. As a Prince of Hell he should be at least up to date on the latest battles, etc. Instead he basically never talks about it. Isn't Heaven and Hell at war? Maybe that might be something a Prince of Hell should be concerned about.

In addition, the magic system doesn't make sense. Didn't Devnik just say that the band was activated and that everything was in place? How comes it just melted when the sun came up? I don't see this being mentioned anywhere else in the story, so it just seems made-up on the spot. Maybe you should give a more in-depth explanation of how all demon magic gets melted away when the sun comes up and how angel magic still works at night.

In conclusion: Good ideas, poor execution.

I am absolutely aching to find out more... Even with the erotic portions being a bare minimum of the tale, you have weaved an a story that has heart, incredible character development, and enough naughty delight to leave the reader entranced and wanting. Please, more!!

Loved it. I want more. That's all I can say.

Noble you are a genius

I reeeeaaaaallyyy like this story no i love it

I would really like it if you finish Chapter 2 soon

Sincerly a excited reader

I.Fucking.Love.You Best story ever written on this site. Enough said.

Great read!

Eagerly awaiting the next installment.

Definitely worth trying to turn into a novel. ^_^ Loved it :)

Whooooo!

The pacing of the characters' development is excellent, the pacing of the plot is excellent, and it's just a very aesthetically pleasing story. I very much look forward to the next chapter. ^_^

But it's going to become a terrible one of you don't write a squeal!

Loved every minute of it and cannot wait for more. Definately worthy of being turned into a real novel . Keep up the good work 👍

Read it just because I was so impressed by Jonathan Creed, but loved it for its own merits. Lot of similar themes in both, a reluctant/transformed female submissive and a flawed, but redeemable domme protagonist. One in a fantasy setting the other set in a near future sci-fi background. Both have another female joining their clan at the end of the story. Both have the female lead character later embracing their relationships. Similar themes, but overall both are done well. However, I thought he did a better job with Jonathon Creed. I will be returning to this one if he writes a sequel though. I gave it a 5 for the story craft more than the eroticism (which wasn't shabby either BTW).

Now I can not wait for a sequel. And I totally agree, this should be turned into an actual novel. Very interesting and by far the best I have read on this site. Bravo.

Can you get more princes or princesses in the sequel? 😛

Now this is that THING that separates good writings, and pure Talent. Of course the truth, Noble as it may, is that You, Sir, clearly have enough of it, to own some serious literary prize.

If you decide to complete the story and post it as a complete novel, I wouldn't care a dime what other people say when I would be buying it as soon as I remembered to :)

I would love to see a sequel as a story, and full book as a finale. I wish you inspiration, dear Author. :)

Please tell me there will be a sequel!!!

Really enjoyed the story. I can't wait for the sequel.

I've read both of your stories and enjoyed each of them very much. The interplay between characters strike me as professional quality along with an engaging plot. The only thing I did notice were some grammatcal errors. So maybe a second pair of eyes could help spot those...anyway thats minor and I gave you a 5 out of 5 for both of your stories.

This was yet another of the stories here that has kept me up all night, quite literally, with anticipation. However, I also noticed a few little mistakes here and there.

Especially for a story of this length and depth, you should get multiple editors. One person can't find every error in such a mass of text, there needs to be multiple people working together to edit it.

This is some of the best writing I've seen in years. I simply must demand more. I could take the words from this story, crush it into a powder, and use that powder as a seasoning for everything that I wanted to become more awesome.

wow, blown away by a piece like this being on literotica, i mean, it wouldnt suprise me if there are more i have yet to read but soooo glad i came across this one. Who doesnt love a bit of heaven and hell?

This story continues in Celestial Wars Ch.01

I would like to thank everyone who put something on this comment board. I'm paid in kind words and criticism, so thanks.

I've found some pretty shit stories on this site. And I've found some good ones... But this is probably the single best story I've found yet. So thank you noble truth for gracing us with your work on this site.

So... obviously I'm not someone who can write a story like this (or I would have done so long ago) but I can at least say that I loved it, ridiculously well done and please keep going. I look forward to reading the next one

You've entrapped me. Oh please give me more ♥♥ I've read this and celestial wars pt 1. This girl really needs to come back into your world soon!

Came for a quick typical literotica read, but your story was too good to put down, even independent of the erotica portions.

as many others i clicked, because i like mind control stories.

what i got was more epic than nearly all the movies I've seen the last two years.

I was expecting a quick (hopefully good) mind control story, what I got was so much more!!!!

There is definitely a novel in this idea if you wanted to expand it. Read this story yesterday and still thinking about it this morning. Well done.

This story was wonderfully entertaining and I cannot wait to read more. I love how the interactions among the demon, angels, aethling and others show many sides to the light and dark and how interactions with others can and do affect those beings. Splendid tale and I cannot wait to read more. Definitely good enough to publish more main stream in my opinion, of course there is the issue of the sexual side of the story! Beat wishes Noble_Truth!

I think that in General, Noble Truth is a respectable writer. I love that they aren't terribly concerned with the sexy business to be out and about within the first paragraph or so. I enjoy his/her writing, because aside from the obvious reasons why I read things on this site, the story itself is gripping. Truely makes you want to continue on reading and find out what the next page has in store. I love the usage of metaphors. Very colorful. I am truely impressed. :) If you like this story, you should check out the other short story by this author.

When I first started reading, I was unsure of your style of writing and almost regretted clicking on the link. It seemed unskilled, blunt and very self-centered with your usage of the first person context.

I humbly apologize for having ever doubted you and your story.

The level of details to words written is amazing, showing that one does not always need think paragraphs in order to get a thought, image, or scene across. I'll be honest, the number of pages in your story kind of frightened me, both fearing it be all sex or all story. The balance was perfect. The constant arousal of Maria and Devnik's unforgiving politeness and sarcasm left me laughing at times, especially during a time of clumsiness or embarrassment on the girl's part.

I was undeniably hooked; sleeping only three hours last night so that I could continue first thing in the morning.

When the story ended, I wanted to kill you in your sleep. No. Really.

My sleep deprived mind demanded bloodshed at the unceremoniously concluded ending and was just sharpening my pitchforks, when something beckoned to click your name and see if there was a sequel.

I could have kissed you upon seeing that there was, and not only that, but you're not one of those old authors who have already written their share and left the site. For that, I would have happily kissed you a second time for not simply leaving the story as a cliff-hanger.

So, please, write more. Write a lot more! And I promise I'll gobble up every word with more desire than what Maria felt for her Dark God.

^_~

Read again and still as amazing as the first time. Really love this story, cant wait for chapter 2 to finally be releaced

JC

beautifully written, intriguing story and charm. kudos and ty.

im so glad there's more :)

plis e end is pending

Even the bad guys aren't 100% bad nor the goodies totally good. 5 stars by any reckoning

Fight me 1v1 fgt

i cant even tell you how many times i have re-read this. there is something about it that makes me want to read it again... probably becuase it is so good

Keep coming back for more. This story is my favourite on literotica by a long margin. The details are jaw dropping and the little twists keep me coming back for more. Chapter 3 I cant wait.

All I can say is that I wish this was turned into an anime movie. It would be beautiful and awesome. I would totally buy it!

Thanks for sharing on a free site ;)

HOLY FUCK

HOLY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK

YOU SIR

ARE A MOTHERFUCKING GENIUS

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A STORY BEFORE, YET HERE I AM, BOUNCING IN MY OFFICE WHILE MY COLEGUES ARE LOOKING AT ME

BUT HOLY SHIT

YOU SIR

ARE A FUCKING LEGEND.

Great story indeed. Best one I have ever seen... Truly a work of art...

You have great talent and should consider a literary career. You are able to create character with thought and dialogue while moving the plot forward steadily. A good read.

Wonderful! Could make an interesting movie. Full CG would work. Just a few typos and logic errors. Best story I've read here

I loved this story

It was great, and I always wanted to find out what would happen next

If you could find a publisher I'm sure it would be a big seller :D

Great writing, I'm going to start on the rest of your work

I had avoided this story for quite a while because of its length, but once I got into it (which happened quickly) I was hooked. It's always a pleasure to read a story with an idea and a plot well out of the ordinary, especially when the storyteller has the talent to make it so interesting. And there were very few grammatical errors (perhaps one or two where there is incorrect wording for the subjunctive mood) which in larger numbers seriously detract from any story.

You have created a new setting within our existing world from which many stories can be drawn. I encourage you to continue writing stories in this supernatural setting.

Five stars. Well done!

I was so into this story that i blocked out all distractions.

I'm rereading this delightful story once again. Even though I knew exactly what was to happen (as wrll as in the sequel) I was kept on the edge of my seat and I was hooked to every delicately placed word that makes up this masterpiece. Few stories. ever have enough talent to make me feel this way. I'm in love with the characters, the creativity, how well everything fits together, and (also) the erotica. I decided to read this in the late of night, and after reading, it's already morning. I don't regret a second of this. Keep up the good work, I wish you the finest, and I hope to read more wonderful works by you. :)

glad i got back to reread this story. better the second time since i understood the details more.

more please

I'm not at all surprised I found this story on the 'Tops' page. While reading, at times a thought would pass through my mind that a noted author started writing this (complete with some intentionally added minor grammatical errors) on a whim and enjoyed it so much - that they just kept writing. Honestly, this is the best story and writing I've ever found on Literotica. Looking forward to the next in the series.

This is a wonderful story. Well conceived and executed. But please, please, please, get yourself a copy editor. Your writing would be immensely improved with just a single proofreading pass.

This series is better written than some commercial fantasy novels in mainstream stores. Very impressive, thank you for sharing it, hope more continue to arrive!

The grammar is irritating. Proofread!!

I have never awarded 5 stars to a story with errors in language before but the faults are so small that they pale to insignificance against the almost literally spellbinding tale.

Fucking christ.

PLEASE PLEASE PROOF READ.

FIND an editor and re-release this. I'm begging you, it's a good story but a giant fucking eyesore.

Hell, if you won't I'LL proofread this shit. It's that bad.

I've re-read this story about five hundred times, unable to get enough of it. It is absolutely stunning.

This story which is on literotica lacked one thing erotica

Give me more. I've read a lot of stories but none have captured me like this

indeed. No less than fine art. A contact with the soul , written, no enscribed with a high insight into those realms of mind, heart, passion and a literate clarity of vision so rarely found. No. This is not perfect. That would be a sin. But it is spellbinding. Sinfully so. Sir, you are an artiste. Write on, Sir! Write on!

Although the writing is decent, it was depressing to read. In this (and the subsequent stories), evil always won, and I didn't feel good at the end. Sad...

I'm not sure how long this would be on paper, but you should publish! While reading this I caught myself wondering why it's on this website (no offense to the 'literature' here) but it's definitely something worthy of binding and a cover! And I also didn't read it in one sitting, I was enthralled. I had to finish it and was sad once I did.

I found this story to be rich in characters and very interesting. If the sex scenes were somewhat softened this author could publish through a major house. Good work and Gooding forward to more!

You should really concider putting this story on multiple sites... its amazing

I really do hope that you get it published.. nicely written and very different from what I am used to reading,..though I would have liked the females to have bit more spunk and not to give in to his charms so easily..anyways its a good story..five stars from my side :)

that I haven't read about what transpired between Devnik and Cariel in the Celestial Wars.

I really liked Devnik and Maria's development into falling for each other in this one. The dynamics, circumstances, and exchanging of witty retorts. I liked it to the point that I wish you could've warned us that Devnik wasn't the monogamous type and that Cariel actually ended up being more annoying than I thought she would be.

I'm used to seeing people's fanasies written down for other, but these fanatasies only focys on one thing. Your work was something that accounted for everything. So, I would like to say good job I hope to see another like this.

You are everything that makes literotica great. If this were a book I would buy it in a heartbeat. Thank you for sharing your creativity. I am completely sucked into Celesial Matters and anxiously waiting for more. There is more...right?

really solid. good work.

This was very addicting I read it lastnight and finished it this morning, great job. 😻

If this were a book, a real book, then I would buy it. What a great story. Captivating.

You are an excellent writer. This story deserves to be published, I was captivated. Please continue this story.

Totally loved it. I can see it as a movie! But the ending was an anticlimax for me.....

You're a pretty bad writer. I was bored from the first page. Read 4 more to give you a whopping five chances.. But no. Boring. Here's one star and really you shouldn't quit your day job.

please write a book... I'm captivated

You are a fantastic author, creative and unoque. I've thoroughly enjoyd this story all week. Thank you and plz keep up the good work!! 👍😁

Please please keep up the amazing work! This is absolutely breathtaking, you should consider getting this published! I hope there's more to the story, I loved it!

This is truly a great read. I'm book marking this so I can comeback; I hope there will be more.

- SilentM (I don't feel like making an acount for a single comment, tbh)

Here is a demon prince of destruction who as a matter of course snuffs his mistresses and indeed he spanks his little angel...

But the author is a good story teller and i enjoyed this read. May Devnik be found in other stories, too!

I've read this in a couple of hours, truly great. Just when you think the sexy times will get daunting or dull they're more interesting than before. Sometimes the overpowering nature of Davnik would make me feel bad inside, but then again he could be a lot worse. I'd love to see this continued, but also that the relationship amongst them would turn more light than dark. That's just personal taste though. I really enjoyed this, thank you!

Man,I really enjoyed the story. Keep up the good work. Honestly,I've read very few stories as great as this.

However we Chinese have a saying-'Wu ji bi fan'-too much of anything is a bad thing. If you just eliminated the excess sex from the story it'd be a great story worthy of publishing real time. Hell, It might even become a bestseller with teenagers.

As a sub in a bdsm relationship, I have to say this story can make me cry (in a good way). This story and the following chapters are so good I've read them over and over. You so perfectly capture what it is to be in a dom/sub relationship and the emotions that come with it. I feel a connection with Maria and Devnik like nothing else I've read. Thank you for writing this.

I love this story ... every part of it held my interest ..I could not stop reading it ......You have an exceptional talent not only for the erotic, but also for humor and irony which give so much to this story ...... I only wish I could write like you ...... your story is real gift ......

I've read a good amount of stories on here, never minding to much of the erotica. This story, was no different, but simply MILES better!! The intricacies and world building you created are just amazing!!! Foreshadowing, tying together plot points, (my especially favorite was the wish, as well as Johns reveal at the end) it was simply amazing! I hope you develop more of these, this was amazing.