All Comments on 'Chelsea's Downfall Ch. 01'

Hunter and hunted indeed. I am hooked. With no fuss, you gave us a clear setting and cast of characters. Dialogue is appropriate in amount and good in quality.

You have done well to avoid body measurements, hackneyed descriptions and cliches. I implore you to continue in this way and avoid any of the following;

'What you want deep inside/down'

'What you were born for/to be'

Magical cock-source of all life changing epiphanies

Purely physiological responses being touted as desire

I know these are fiction staples and make the writer's work easier, but they weaken the story. From chapter one, I would say you arre a strong writer. I double dog dare you to take the more challlenging route through your story. :)

Now that I've lectured, I will beg....please write more!

great story ... I too am hooked ..... please write more and let us know what happens

I'm hoping that there will be more of this story to come... so good

was a village near London, and has been a suburb of that city for well over a century. It has NEVER been a UK girls name till the US ran out of normal names for women, and latched onto Chelsea.

If you're trying to write convincing period stories, you need to do lots of research to make them accurate. One point for failing to do that.

so creative!!!! : )

Yum. To the point start. Thanks.

The best ingredients of this story: a shy waif, an experienced manly Lord, and a slowwww build-up that is chaste but sizzling...lol! This is the best sort of "erotica" one that doesn't give anything away too fast and where the bad meets the innocent ;) Oh and the writing is impeccable, too. Thanks for writing!

For all the wonderful comments. I'm sorry the first part was so short and I haven't followed it with anything, but I've been very busy. I promise I'll have another part out within the next week or so.