All Comments on 'Happy Hour'

There are two huge claring flaws. First is the over and improper use of "word - word" which isn't a pause as the proper method is to use a coma. Second is using "come" when "cum" should be for an orgasm/semen/etc. even grade school kids know the difference.

... with his "Two huge flaws" really ought to check what he's written before Posting it.

Or perhaps he was in a 'coma' when he wanted to write 'comma'!!

Ever heard the saying "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"?

People who make errors shouldn't criticise others!

Very well written. Steamy without being overdrawn. All the unnecessaries stripped away but the bare essentials there and well crafted. Well done, Mr Jack