All Comments on 'One Lucky Neighbor'

Flipping between tenses, no character development, just... Bleaghh...

I agree. The visual was pretty good, but the tense changes had me correcting and rereading. The situation was pretty good, tho. Maybe an editor would help; there appear to be many on this site who would help out. You can always learn from an editor.

it tells me your not very bright, and from the content it tells me your downright stupid. So do everybody a favor and fuck off.

crap

It's bad enough when a story starts in one tense and switches a few times, but you managed to do it in the same paragraphs -- repeatedly.

<P>

There were comments recommending using an editor, but an editor should be used for someone who knows the difference between tenses but slips up a few times. An editor should NOT be used to provide a crash course in basic English.

Good grief, it wasn't perfect but it wasn't bad. I have never seen a more pompous bunch of commenters as I do on this site. You don't need literary perfection to enjoy an erotic story. Seriously, the comments are often so negative I am considering finding another site. Perhaps just relax and enjoy our shared adventurous sexual spirits? Celebrate those that give us something to read because they are willing to step out and put into words a piece of their sexuality? At whatever level they are at?

The comments very often contain a level of arrogance that is sad, really. If you aren't an accomplished writer yourself, than work on the plank in your own eye. If you are an accomplished writer, than consider sharing your thoughts in a constructive but kind way. Are we not here to support each other?

Your story was nice, dwaino, I enjoyed it! Ignore them and continue writing! Please forgive my outburst in your comments but I felt it time to say something, finally, and I waited long enough that I am completely fed up.

you wanted to write a cuckie story with a wimp husband and a fucking dirty cunt for a wife and you suceeded.

Keep writing and enjoying your fantasies. 3*

OK, first off ignore all the idiots who read stories about topics they know they'll hate, what these people get from abusing others is beyond me.

An editor *would* help you, if you've not the time to self edit properly. Editing can be a chore and often the person who's made the mistake is blind to it on a check through. And Word programs really should spot tense alterations by now!

The tenses issue is a tad annoying, it pulls you away from the story, like a tooth catching on a foreskin, but I've read many, many stories that commit much more heinous crimes against the English language than this one has done.

A little more attention to the sexual details would have improved the story for me, but please don't take that as an instruction to over indulge in dreadful crassness or awful analogies like too many other people do here.

It's got promise and keep going with it.

Why isn't there any mention of the husband getting any sex from slut Stephanie anytime he wanted. It would've made the story erotic knowing that Dea and hubby were getting banged and getting off on each other sharing. As is stands the story is pointless because no one in real life living the open lifestyle would accept such a one sided arrangement. If they did they probably would need serious therapy.

what is with all the negative responses? why would you be looking is a category that you don't like to read things that you also don't like? are you really that board? no one cares about your comments. i think the story was well written and just what i like to read. perhaps you should go back to comic books if your can't handle things that happen in the real world! *5*

extra pussy? Why isn't he interested in fucking David's wife or sluts on the road?

I was helping my neighbor cleaning their house his wife was not home. Igot in to clean the shower and took my top off to not get wet. the husband came by and liked what he seen. He started to play with my tits and gave him a head job. I got nude and we played around and finish the job and him. I went home and took my things off and door bell rang and it was the other neighbor with a package fromthe mail I asked him in and gave him a blow job and let him play with my body. It may sound not rea but it was and I wait for the time.

This got me very hot and bothered; thanks!

I didn't catch why the guy can't get enough sex from his own wife and needs to go next door? I get this is a slut wife and cuck story but my not getting the "why" so much made this a less enjoyable read.

No more whorewife stories. Author must have started drinking dwaino again.