All Comments on 'Waiting for the Moon'

Superb ---too much , Boss ! 5 * s

this is what poetry is....

This is really beautiful but it needs the Senna Jawa treatment - remove all non-essentials, So for instance.......

"The sun's path, inexpressible ecstasy,

lattice work of clouds

lies in sun kissed departure;

one, resembling a giant bird,

flies to the east

leaving the others behind.

Trees become crisp stencils,

dark shades of thalo,

painted against the remains of light,

delineating heaven and earth,

hiding the horizon."

You should be proud of this, one of your best.

Tess

Very romantic, lyrical and expressive, but I agree with Anon, strip it of the non-essentials, too wordy.

Poetry at its best!

lovely title, lovely writing, yes you could afford to pare it back some but it leaves behind that sense of quiet and stillness. always a pleasure,

a fan ;)