by damppanties
Not a new plot, but still fun! A good job of dealing with that age-old problem: How do you do it the first time together?
That's what I'd say if I'd had the same experience with Gabi. I think that would be appropriate when best friends become lovers.
Great story. Good luck in the contest.
Cute, loving, romantic. I loved it! Even if the sex was shot, the buildup was great and a wonderful way to rebound from the conflict earlier. Great Job!
Very well written and very hot. You did a great job of pulling out her aprehension and then later her passion. 5 only because I can't give you 6.
Despite the fact that we are meeting Gabby and Chris just before the party, the bits of background you give us make them feel like the kids down the road, the ones we've known forever. By the time they finally get together, we're sitting back and smiling, asking, "What took you two so long?"
Your descriptions allow us to feel the pain, embarrassment and elation with your characters. The story is vivid, passionate and incredibly real. Thank you for sharing.
Great story of letting go of her inhibitions.thanks for writing.
Every now and then I come across a phrase that really resonates with me. One that makes me go, "Ooh, fuck.. yes..."
You just made the list.
Brava, damps. A really sweet, hot story that, despite its... unusual setting, managed to be completely believable. I thought Gabby's reluctance was played just right. And Chris's insecurity showing through his veneer of cool bravado was note perfect, too.
I also liked that not everyone at the party was an Adonis or Aphrodite, too. Us fuller-figured gents like a look-in at these shindigs as well. ;)
Seriously, very, very well done. :)
Thank you for submitting a well written story that didn't have the usual 9" cocks and featured the point of view of less than buxom female (I can relate with my own willowy bod). Good luck on the contest! Alexxxis
A very nice 'Short' story, by that I mean I would have like to have read more. At the same time though you did a wonderful amount of story, in a small amount of words. Which is a gift a lot of authors can't pull off.
When I leave comments I always give a critique of where I think the 'story' could have been better.
With this one the only place I saw something that might could have been better if different was when they started to have sex. When you know someone for as long as they have, there is a bit of awkwardness to the first time. The desire, fueled by years, is often so high that we become clumsy. There is also often a bit of embarrassment, made far worse by that.
You had that going very well when they were in the closet.
I don't know maybe the odd comment "My god, I've always wanted to see you like this." could have been added at that point to also give that sense of time between them.
Anyway my opinion, good for what it's worth.
Wonderful story, and thank you.
M.S.Tarot
5 out of 5.
This is a very engaging story, celebrating the Nude Day theme perfectly. The characters are very well drawn and are totally believable in their actions, dialog, and motivations. I am a romantic at heart; the story left me teary, happy, and horny.
Not too long, perhaps just a tad too short, and very well crafted. You should feel proud of your work.
The only suggestion I have is this. Converting a long time friendship - particularly with someone you've known all your life - is difficult and risky. It's hard to go back to just being friends again. In recognition of this, I think that at the very least, I'd want to structure the story so that Gabriella (I've always loved that name, by the way) was told of the nature of the party the day before. That would also get rid of the lingering feeling that she was being railroaded into going to the party. It wouldn't take much - maybe an extra half page.
In any event, please view this as a suggestion, not a criticism.
I know that a goal of writers (and performers in all areas of entertainment) is to leave the audience wanting more. You have achieved that goal, but many of us REALLY do want to read more. A sequel can continue the evening... did they go back to the party or go home? Or the next day... is it wonderful or awkward?
Great story!!
I didn't want it to end. Very well done, and I don't normally leave comments either ;)
oooh, dampy that was perfect! What a sweetly hot story, and I mean seriously hot. I think the length was perfect and the characters were entirely believable. I was racing along, out of breath, feeling everything with Gabby. Well crafted and well done!
Amazing story. Drew us right in, built up the tension and then gave us a wonderfully hot ending. Bravo.
Bravo Damp - I hate it when I find stories better than my own! Fantastic little gem - well done. Looking forward to reading more of your works.
Delicious ,well written and nice buildup to good sex. Loved it!
I seldom find the time to read other authors. This rare visit was rewarded by your entertaining story. It captured the desire that builds in us when we want a particular man until nothing else matters.
If a friend of mine was bringing me to a party I wasnt comfortable with and I said stop the car and turn around and they refused? I would immediately not be friends with them anymore as they just proved to be untrustworthy. Nobody has the right to make you do anything even if they have your best interests at heart. People fuck up. Make mistakes. You can't garuntee someone will be safe. Ever. It's a lie. He lied to her to her into her pants.
Really well told. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Interestingly enough it’s almost my true story except the party wasn’t naked.
As always you have that way of writing that suckers people in, drags them along on a wonderous naughty tale, and leaves them satisfied with the ending.
I'm always interested in descriptions of intercourse from a woman's perspective. Your story is very insightful, and your minute details allow a reader to more fully put themselves in your place. BRAVO and THANK YOU!
I love this story. It is by far the best I have read on this site. YOu have great insight and like one of comments below,The love making scene from the woman's point of view is wonderful. I have friend that I hop will become more than just a friend but I've got to be very patient I am also interested in the idea of a naked party such as you describe, normal socializing only everyone is naked. Is that even really possible?