by thebuffalo
within your tale... Need to take time to develop all facets... More about all the characters... Build all three... The only area described was the car and theater... Think of a rewrite Thanks
Pretty good for a first timer looking forward to future stories from you.
At first this read more like an ad for a women's apparel shop than anything. There was no development of the characters and the story line was at best boring. There was nothing believable about this story. Poorly written
Love the idea of the stranger in the back seat with my wife. My idea is for her to pick up a guy at the mall and bring him out to our van. In the interest of safe sex there will be no fucking, she just gives the guy a nice handjob. She is intrigued, just have to get her courage up.
Good story, nice telling of your witnessing from the front seat. The believable point is that John came on, not in, her pussy. That makes me think this was something you saw, not something you decided to make up. And the spanking was fun, right?
Thanks.
It takes a total piece of shit to take his whore out to duck a stranger. A lot of them write for LW.