All Comments on 'Girls Night Out'

Just another cheating whore and a piece of shit that just might end up without a cock.

Is this erotic.

Whatever the erotic value of the story might be, the writing has one killer error. If you are writing this for yourself, fine. But if you are writing this with the intention of having other people read it, then think about the following: who is the "you" in the story? Someone is being referred to. The author is addressing someone.

Whoever it is, the "you" is certainly not me. When I read something like " I fill you with my thick cock" I'm thinking to myself, fuck this. Why, because I'm a guy and the author is addressing a female. A super turn-off. This type of story has about zero value for me. Talk about doing something to "her", or use "she" etc.

Never, NEVER write in the second person. It kills everything. How can you possibly know what "you" is feeling?

An eighth grader knows better than to make this mistake.

Not a bad story. It has all the elements and isn't poorly written. Sure, it would benefit from a good edit, but most could - including some published works by well known, contemporary authors.

What amazes me are the ugly,vitriolic, self-righteous comments left by anonymous, and sometimes not anonymous, trolls. If they offered just a modicum of constructive criticism scattered throughout their rants they might not appear so pitiable.

Hardly surprising once you look at the URL and notice this is the 46th story with the same, unoriginal title.

a back alley, tough-talkin', gets-all-he-wants, lounge lizard Casanova.

Heard this story so many times before; no artistic talent.

I have dreamed of this very thing before happening to my wife with me catching her and getting caught jerking off to them fucking then being forced into eating the cum from her well used pussy and cleaning his cock. Would love to see it take a direction like that but no matter what direction you go with it you need to keep it going

Stupid worthless slut.

Very erotic, very nasty and very hot! This is actually a fantasy that many women have, i.e. being roughly bred in an alley after being picked up in a bar by a stranger. Both my wife and I loved this....she wants to buy a little black dress!

I met her at the skating rink. She had caught a ride with her sister and had brought her 4 children with her. We got to talking while the kids skated. I vaguely remember offering to drive her and her children home. After she put her kids to bed, she and I stepped outside. She briefly told me she was upset with her husband. And she wanted me to make her pregnant. We had sex 3 times before I left. I left for Basic Training the next afternoon and never saw her again. I still wonder to this day if I helped her achieve her wish of getting pregnant.

Since one out of five mothers give birth to babies that are fathered by men not listed on the birth certificate, there should be far more stories like this one. And a lot of women give birth to children from men they do not know more than their first name, and even that name may be false. I have a friend who has two daughters by men that she doesn't know. The first one she never got his name. And the second one was old enough to be her father.

He could leave his card in her cum-filled married panties..."John Smith, attorney....divorces my specialty!" Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'ambulance chaser.'

Wasn't that some silly.shit. This guy is an author?

As I walk to my car in the parking lot everything goes black as the baseball bat crushes my skull. I never felt the size 10 boot repeatedly crushing my balls...

I never laughed so hard

2nd person is never a good thing.

Not bad. Needs a second chapter where she comes back to breed.

@ stevetish: FOMCL. Your comment was better than this story. The author's writing's just awful. 1 star, because 0 stars won't change the rating.