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Offspring Ch. 042

byTalemaster©
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Comments (6)
by Anonymous

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by katgoddess107/14/13

Great new chapters!

Your world has become increasingly complicated. It's so hard to wait to see what you will come up with next. I really like the character Frank. His sense of humor and his unusual approach to things makes the story fun to read.

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by Anonymous07/14/13

It's an interesting read purely from a background standpoint. Nice universe.
Sadly I find the story sorely lacking in immersion factor., much too linear and unemotional.
Everything is or happens as the hero wants and predicts, on his terms.
The infallible guy is getting boring fast. Can't even root for him because he's winning without trying. Should be the step by step guide to world domination?

Besides, the guy can go visit Cleopatra, but he can't take a hike some few years back and get perfect intel on all things Torgon from Sir Emerson or someone there directly?
Thats like he has those godlike superpowers but can't think out of the box enough to use them.

But, this may be the first chapter without anyone drinking beer. Have to wonder how they manage to do anything the way they're all inebriated all the time. Hah.

Sorry for being unregistered, posting anon and sounding grumpy. Hope there's some constructive critique here. Still a better story than most on lit, thanks.

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by Anonymous07/15/13

keep the chapters coming

I'm addicted to sci fi especially with some erotica thrown in. Story could use some more sex and I wish Mara was around more.

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by Anonymous08/08/13

I hope you post the next chapter soon.

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by Anonymous09/14/13

Desperation!

This tale looks as though it could wrap up before too long - but when!
There are a few threads to bring together and it would be nice to have a denouement!

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by NW_bi_boy11/15/13

Please please please... yes I'm begging

Please finish this story. I'm going to seriously cry if our friends, your characters are left here.

I've very much enjoyed this yarn... just looking for the end.

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