All Comments on 'red tint'

What could be more alone than alone at nightfall? Effectively portrayed.

What I like about this: references to mineral, metal, fabric, stars, earth, desert, plains. I'm a sucker for global expansiveness. I like the repetition of alone in the third stanza. Thought about a comma after 'pearl' but I think it works as is. Suggestions:

copper base and satin azurite

leads up to the dark -- seems to me it should be lead; consider "reaches into dark"

far from home and cold

a darker damask

comes soon -- consider 'falls soon' (in line with fabric, nighfall etc).

On the azurite line - I am not sure it works, but not because of the azurite. maybe copper flames in satin azurite? Maybe that's too much.

anyway, I liked this.

BTW excellent poem touched my heart'n soul ---5-ed .

I liked this very much, 1201. It felt like a lament and has a sad musical quality to it that stayed with me and made me want to read it again. I liked "azurite" because of "deserting" and "scimitar"'s proximity to it. I also liked the way you used words with the soft "a" vowel sound with internal rhyme and near rhyme. Maybe I'm making more of this than you intended, but I think the poem plays upon the subconscious because of the subtle sounds of the words you use and tempers the tendency to view a sad poem as overly melodramatic, which wasn't the case for me at all.

Neither did the poem feel extravagant; ie, the words were not excessive.

"far from home" came dangerously close to a cliché IMO. Nor am I a big fan of "author's notes," although my dirty little poet secret is I am still tempting to write them too.

a world of emotions in those few lines. We should talk. It's good to see one of yours here on NP's.

You effectively moved me through a series of color/images to envision sunset deepening to night. Even "clear" takes on a texture in this context, though I think there's likely a better choice than "so" to precede it. Satin azurite bugged me only to the extent that I had to look it up and I am not sure about having stone represent sky, but that is prolly a nitpick. I'm also iffy on damask: I think you mean it in the wider sense of a pattern that covers, but maybe something more clearly colorful (or colorless) would have been more meaningful to me. But it's way past a 5, as you know. :-)

Thanks for showing how it is done. It took everyone else's comments, and me reading it a dozen times to get the full scope of what you covered in so few words. On first read I only got the sense of loneliness when you spelt it out, but on subsequent reads it got better and better!

5ed

been the lesser of two evils, unless you stuck another -ite nearby.

First two lines are quality, overall I enjoy the poem but you would have niggled anyone else trying "in air/so clear" and "i am alone/far from home".

shite?

and probably

leaves of grass, at least you rip off the masters

and azurite is a mineral not a colour!

scimitar and pearl is ripped from Longfellow

far from home and cold is a rephrase of Gollum's poem from Lord of the Rings

much ado about nothing, from shake, eh?

I know azurite is a mineral. if it was laves of grass why would it be so short? I've read longfellow. the scimitar of pearl? from what? The gollum? that may have come LOR, which I read, what are we talking about alone, far from home and cold. Rather more common usage than anything else.

It feels like that's what your writing is about...

beautiful, well-thought work, as always with your poetry. I bow humbly.

Some things are easy to describe. Others, not so much. A specific cloud formation, a specific sunset, the feelings one has while watching those... What makes those interesting, I think, is how a person's own mind "paints" the scene, or in the case of a poem, chooses words.

I find your choice of words curious. A "copper base" and "satin azurite"; an orange metal and a blue mineral, which contains copper. "Blades" of grass, "scimitar" of pearl. "Deserting" sun. It's like this scene is being depicted by a specific character, and I can almost see him. Almost.

Hm. Not quite how I would describe nightfall, but then, that's what makes it interesting.

this poem had about 20 votes yesterday, it now has 90, unlikely that 70 people had some kind of divine revelation. to my knowledge the poem does not have an outside link nor do I have a fan base. due to the limited real audience for poetry any poem with more than 20 votes is suspect. i despise voting without comment, and offer an apology (even though I had nothing to do with this) to any one that this poem jumped ahead of. well most anyone as there are probably others that have been gamed.

thank you 1201

There is some justice (poetic even) that someone or something has selected you to be right up there in the highest firmament, just after ‘Our Special Message’ and just ahead of ‘My Whole Life..’ I actually like ‘Lament of a Yellow Girl’ (now in fourth position) and even think it could be there without divine intervention. It must be a source of considerable pride to you to receive such recognition.

It is interesting to think that this sudden elevation of your masterpiece (interesting origins for the term) to the Halls of Valhalla (dreadful mix of metaphors) means that there is someone active on the poetry hub with both the sense of humour (I humbly would claim that) and the capability of screwing the system electronically (unfortunately I lack that).

It is good to see that some at least of the unspeakable rubbish has been removed from the Hall of Fame. Well done the site police. And well done whoever is responsible for your elevation – he or she has my very real admiration.

Incidentally, I do quite like this poem of yours – but I dearly wish I could find that other one of yours on the threads I liked so very much.

I get a sense of both anticipation and dread.

Five