Poetic! Quite a textual picture you draw.
Very poetic and I really like the futuristic scene too it.
A delightful mood piece. Will keep me thinking for some time.
...and scary at the same time. I loved the concept, shea! On one hand it's scary to imagine being so alone in a world full of self-involved humanity, but the prose and some of the word choices are so beautiful. Some lovely writing in there. I really wish the Flower a happy ending.
This was definitely worth the cheering along to make you get it in in time and I'm so glad you did. :)
I really can't give your story a higher rating, because it seemed derivative of so many other Sci-Fi scenarios. Also, your main character reminded me of a description of a Barbie doll instead of an intriguing character. You seem to have talent so keep trying. Better luck next time.
Amazing description, but open to so many interpretations that I don't know where it is going or what you intended. It s almost like a surreal painting which is available to whoever looks at it for whatever meaning it may generate. You have a wonderful descriptive ability, but I'm not sure if you are "telling" anything. Worth the read
For starters, what a gorgeous, haunting little story. Your wordplay and the purposeful ness of your sentences, the significance of your word choices--magnificent. This piece was like some delicious pastry that invited me to peel apart it's layers and lick at the sweet filling.
Also, heartbreaking. A lone bit of verdant lushness straining against a canopy of glass. It reminded me of the flower from "Beauty and the Beast", a dying rose kept shut away in a shimmering case. It's true, in our modern quest for stimulation, we often forget what really feeds our souls, what waters us. As a result, we fail to grow.
As much as I loved the story, and I did love it, absolutely, it pained me that her shadow--cast out from a lighted past to a dark, dreary future, grown large and intimidating, yet, still an imitation, like the city itself--could only offer Flower, and herself, that brief bit of refreshment (re-fresh, to be new again). I wanted so much for her to stay in the park, for the two women to become a garden.
Still, life lingers on, hope is not fully withered. Maybe that is enough.
Flower was quite an exhibition and she allowed me to be a voyeur into my own life. Great use of the category.
Thank you for sharing.
A very good story, told through minimalism. I liked the grim undercurrent flowing through the words, reeking of despair.
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