All Comments on 'Brother to Brother Ch. 03'

by thealphamale

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  • 7 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
need more!

Good! Keep going!

chesthairslavechesthairslaveover 10 years ago
"I COULD FEEL A PASSION WITHIN HIM AS HE KISSED ME."

The individual perspectives work well in this situation. There is now a platform for the thoughts of Carter and Aiden to have complete clarity. First of all, I love the entire chapter. I thought 'The Lie' paragraph was particularly poignant.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Great -- keep it going

The story is very touching, and now that Aiden has settled down and returned his brother's kiss, it seems we are ready for the next level -- whenever mom and dad vacate the premises. I still imagine Carter with some dark chest hair; after all, he is the older and more mature brother.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

I cant wait for the next chapter!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Constructive criticism

Awesome story so far! I love the honesty between the brothers ( finally ) and the love, respect and tenderness Carter feels for Aiden. Just one little critique if I may... The dialogue between them is too formal and a little stilted. The way that they use each other's names at the beginning of every statement, and the dialogue is a little on the dramatic side. It feels like I'm reading a script for a drama. Just a little choreographed. Just let it flow a little better. Picture an actual conversation you would have with someone, and the flow and cadence of it, and go with that. Otherwise, Totally Awesome!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Critique

Yeah I thought the same great story just make it a normal conversation not perfect, you're doing a great job!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
My new favorite story

Please update as soon as you can. You're the best!

Anonymous
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