All Comments on 'The Meeting of the Minds'

but where's the excitement?

for trying, without looking too much at the words, this is probably the hardest rhyme scheme in English, advise - read translations of Dante to see how others used other means, in most cases you'll get a good feel for natural language flow. You may have noticed the 'pull' of the scheme.

is not so difficult in Italian, check out Shelley’s “Ode to the West Wind” to see it done masterfully in English. However, I wonder what the point is in emulating this style other than a brain teaser. I would put content first, and here the content is stymied by the framework. It reminds me of intercourse with a condom compared to flesh to flesh, i.e. a lot of the sensation is lost.