All Comments on 'Celestial Wars Ch. 01'

Damn awesome.

The first story was quite good, and the concept is very creative. This new chapter is excellent and it's demonically tantalizing to know there are at least two more sections. Thank you for all the work that went into this.

RedJohnny

Dude, stop, take a break. I didn't think it was possible for me to like you anymore. I've spent five dollars for writing so much crappier than this it wasn't even funny. My conscience wants to tell you to go pro, my inner demon wants chapter 2 soon.

I have loved all your submissions so far. I agree with the others that you could definitely go pro with this stuff on something like Amazon. Gave you 5.

More than awesome! Bloody fantastic!

Another wonderful part in a great tale. You have some very rare talent my friend. I look forward to watching you do great things with it. Until then I remain...

No one writes Dom/sub like you. 5 stars well earned. You especially write us girls well.

This story is awesome. Please continue writing it

Awesome as always :)

Love your work man.Celestial matters dragged me in, and this has done nothing but improve upon the foundation. Keep it up!

Much Love From Tuc Town

I loved it. I can't wait for the next one!

Fushi- Cheers for not saying First, and thanks.

RedJohnny-I am to get better and there are indeed more sections. It's not work if you enjoy it.

Anonymous Wow- That's very kind, and if it was more than a hobby I would be worried about getting paid. Until then it is free with my compliments.

darkdance69- Thanks for the 5. Going pro sounds scary and time consuming, much safer to just stay here.

Anonymous- Cheers glad you liked it.

Just@Fan- I like what you do with your name on your posts, and thanks for the compliments.

Anonymous Hot- I guess that means I'm weird. Hope being unique is good. I'm not a girl, so I guess I'm glad I can fake it well.

Anonymous Awesome- I intend to.

Jounar- Thanks for the five and the smiley face.

Anonymous Dwamn- Thanks guy. Love from Texas

Anonymous Loved it!- Neither can I. I just have to write it and 'kinda' edit it.

I'm going to try to respond to my comments from now on in the interest of being polite and what not, and to give some updates. The next chapter will probably drop in three weeks to a month. So sorry about the long wait, I will try to be as fast as possible without losing quality and detail. Thanks for all the support so far.

At moments it's hard not to say this very talented writer needs an equally talented proofreader, but I find the story so engaging that I don't care. Very cool that I'm reading this practically as it unfolds, and I'll follow your work wherever it leads.

I love this! I've been keeping an eye out for the second part, so I was so excited that there's going to be at least two more parts! *happy dance*

I would like to say that I very much appreciate how much effort you have put into this series and that I appreciate that all the new demons you've introduced so far have been the names of real demons. These stories simply have so much more character than Christian mythology it reminds me of the very first time I opened up a Greek Mythology book and felt absolutely entranced with the depth and berth of pure imagination. I really wish you would accept a few bucks from me to express my deep enjoyment of your stories but based on the comments it looks like you are taking the humble position. Honestly, at this point I care much more about the lore and story behind this universe over the fapping material, and that's saying something.

Thanks,

EmeraldEnd

A: Are you writing professionally? if not

B: You should, because i would pay for a book this good, even (or especially) without the explicit sexuality

C:If you ARE, where can i buy your work?

Amazingly well written.

I read this chapter in one sitting, I like stories such as this with a lot of plot and less sex, I have pretty much gone through what literotica has to offer me in these sections I think.

Well done with this, seriously. Can't wait for the next installment, I hope I can find something good to tide the time.

5 stars!

Your avid reader,

TC

(Side note, I doubt people go back and look to see if I responded to their comment, but I like to delude myself.)

Anonymous (Too much fun to criticize)- Don't worry, I go back and re-read my story and wince and criticize myself when I stumble over typos. Thanks for those nice words though.

Anonymous- Your happy dance is noted. Those two parts are going to take a spot of work though. My happy dance will commence when I finish.

EmeraldEnd- Thanks again. I've said somewhere in the bowels of this comment board that money is not being accepted. If this was more than a fun hobby I'd change my tune. Till then, it's free with my compliments.

Anonymous (Just wow)-

A. 'fraid not.

B. That sounds scary and involved, but thanks for the sentiment.

C. You can read my work for free right here. Thanks for boosting my ego.

Anonymous (Absolute gold) It almost makes my heart ache to hear what took many sittings could be demolished in one...but such is writing. I too enjoy the foreplay of a draw out story, rather than a bombardment of naughty bits.

How long did it take for you to write this Chapter? Also, do you think the other chapters will be longer/shorter? It seems like there is a lot more plot to be uncovered.

As always, well done. Jonathan Creed was superb too.

p.s Lucifer looking for Daniel?

Thanks for taking the time to respond to comments.

As far as typos/etc are concerned, you're simply subject to the Writing Law of Infinite Numbers of Errors. By definition, there are an infinite number of errors in every piece of writing, because no matter how many times the author/a proofreader looks at it, they will find more errors that they didn't notice in the last review. No document is ever technically perfect.

All a writer can hope for is that the ratio of story quality / distraction caused by errors is sufficiently large. In your case, that ratio is very high.

Thanks, again, for a great story!

- RedJohnny

Noble Truth, I don't know who you are but you have suddenly become all I care about. You and your talent have deprived me of much sleep lately haha.

When is your next chapter coming out?

I can't even begin to express how much I've enjoyed reading your work! It is definitely one of the best pieces of literature I've read in a long time. Thanks for being real and responding to us common folk :P.

Love to chat with you one on one someday about how your idea for Celestial Matters came about :).

Love from Vancouver, Canada xx

That was really good! I couldn't stop reading it & cant wait for the next part!!!!!!

Anonymous (Take a bow) This chapter took me about four weeks to write and edit. All the other chapters will be the exact same length more or less. Each will be sixty pages in a word processor. In your average book, that is about 95 pages.

RedJohnny- Preaching to the choir man. The dialog is fun, glad to do it.

Anonymous (Best Story I've Read in my life)- You are going to give me a complex if you come out with hard hitting compliments like that. Sorry 'bout the sleep. I personally don't sleep well either. Next chapter will actually be a sequel to Jonathan Creed in about two weeks. I wouldn't expect Celestial Wars Ch. 02 to drop until the very end of August...if even...sorry.

tsktsk19- But we've only just met...look forward to your emails.

Anonymous (OMG) Thanks. You should stop reading it. You'll burn out and you won't want to read my next one.

I just finished reading this story, and i must make a point about having to read everything you have posted under your name in under 2 days. I simply could not stop!

your imagination and creativity are a thing of art, my only 1 wish would be a little more attention for the occasional typo, but those can be ignored.

Something that I have to wonder about, with all the obvious dominating nature of the males you create (devnik and creed), I don't recall once where the back door has been breached ;)

Anyway, really love your style, in case you didn't figure that out from my ramblings yet...

Simply amazing. I really love what you've done with lore, with some research, and with the entire thing. I would also tender a marriage offer, but already married! :) If you'd like a beta reader and/or editor, I'll gladly volunteer. I only saw one tiny error, so you don't need one much, but if you decide you'd like one please let me know.

You are a GENIUS!!! I haven't seen such a fine piece of work in a very long time. I really enjoy your style and how the story rolls.

I especially like how you made the reluctance show. Not many writters can do that well. Any minor mistakes such as typos doen't make have a bad influence on my review! You bring a whole new defination to the word "interesting".

So, considering your strengths and talents, I personally ask if you could add a bitore reluctance showing in each character. Jealousy would be intensely grinned upon. Your style just proises some exciting drama in your literature. I would be truly gratteful if you did as I suggested, or better yet, add the reluctance and jealousy into a whole new series! But please don't change the way of your mind-control ways. I find them very... entertaining.

Please reply ASAP, and I wish you the best luck one could have for making my day a much less miserable one.

Your currently-fan,

Aaron.

I'm sure the reason that we are absolutely loving this story is because of all the time you take over it, and the attention to detail you've shown. So it's a good thing (almost) that the next two parts will take a while. It shows that the quality is there.

At least there will be more Creed to tide me over whilst I wait for more of the good stuff...

Anonymous happy dancer

The best story ever! I'm up all day and night reading this. Keep up the good work.

I can't even begin to describe how good this is. Keep up the good work.

I am really looking forward to part 2! This is great work. Is it possible to give another eta? Sorry for asking but I can't wait...

I've read both of these in a matter of hours. They are amazing. First piece of literature I've read for pleasure and enjoyed this much in years. Thank you and please hurry with the second and third chapters. And maybe even more after three?? :-D

Celestial Matters was taken down because it was reported by someone. I had originally written Maria (the Parisian girl living five centuries ago who is not human) as a sixteen year old. She is now eighteen. I gave the story a once over and tried to change all references to her age. If they put it up again it will return, if it is rejected again I will not bother to go fix it again.

In other news, Celestial Wars Ch. 02 is coming along well, and I will share it with you guys when I'm happy with it. Which I hope is soon.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me.

As you are now aware, literotica likes to take things down occasionally because it is a "respectable" site. While literotica is still the premiere site for erotic literature, there are still many other alternative sites that will happily welcome a copy of your story, such as darknest or hentaifoundry. You may want to consider submitting it elsewhere, as well as in literotica.

is asstr. Probably the best archive site, since many erotic lit websites like to go down, taking all their stories with them. asstr is only good as an archive, though: it's perhaps the least respectable website of them all. But people who already know what they are looking for, find great use in asstr.

Read both installments with little sleep over a month ago and find myself checking back for more. Your imagination is quite interesting and could seriously be published. Needless to say you kept me enthralled and very excited;)) Can't wait to find out you have given us more!!!!

I read both pieces and i am anxious to read more of this story and more of your writing. Thank you and keep up the good work.

You destroy

I'm left enthralled and wanting, please continue.

Just finished reading both installments, looking forward to more.

Just finished both installments, and I anxiously await the next chapter.

Love this, don't leave us hanging too long, its amazing.

Thanks for all the kind words guys. And in response to most of the comments, I'm trying not to leave you guys hanging for too long. One of the reasons it's taking so long is that I want to write something I'm proud of posting. The Noble_Truth name has a lot to live up to, and I don't want to post quickly and disappoint people. Another reason it's taking so long is because I'm editing my work more carefully. I'm doing this both on my own and with an outside editor.

Thanks for hanging with me guys.

NT

Reading your works are like the Angels letting Devnik drink their blood. Don't be too long now on the next please! ;D

Your writing style had me hooked when I stumbled upon Jonathan Creed, I checked your bio for more stories and I am extremely pleased with what I found.

Great storyline, can't wait to read more.

Is this the only place you post updates?

Firstly, FASCINATING story. I love the bits of truth and lore you mix in with the fantasy you've made.

Second, hot!! Little more description of Devnikolus and his manhood! Can never be too much sexy demon!

Defo one of the best stories on the site. Needs a little longer with the couplings but other than that I cant complain at all. Next chapter please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JC

http://storiesonline.net/s/72189

On this webpage, this chapter is listed as ch6. Ch7 and ch8 are already posted.

Thanks for sharing the link!

Another classic

Reading once again has left me craving more. Next chapter and the finale please.

I really like it. It's inticing. It's so sexy. So dramatic...but in a way I feel bad for Maria. She had him first.

Hmmmn... I dunno what is more tempting, your wonderful story or the beautiful mind behind it. If you could create something as sexy as Devnik... then his Creator is definitely sexier...

More please... I'm begging you.

i loved it, at the beginning, i was wondering why this was on a sex stories website. Then i understood slowly and with pleasure. I can't wait to read the Ch. 02. I loved your story, i hope you will publish many others.

Just two wee things are out of place here. "Northern Ireland" didn't come into existence until the 1920's and in the 1600's Irish (Gaelic) was the predominant language.

Other than that this is a brilliant story with gripping characters and a storyline that is now eating into my sleep time! Lol You have a great talent for this keep up the good work! :)

Love is not PASSIONATE for the light? Really? Your whole story is based on the judeochristian religious system. Hence Lucifer, Michael, etc. In that system...where do you get the idea that God doesn't love with passion? Hell, he calls himself a "jealous God" at one point, as one of his NAMES. And themes of a jealous, passionate lover are scattered all throughout the Torah, as well as the "old testament" as it is called. The new testament is a passion play in and of itself! Shit, man. Heavens got nothing to compare to being bled by a demon? Ha! Try again. Drugs/addiction are just fillers for the real thing. Namely, life, and love. But I was just quibbling with your descriptions of the factions per Cariel. (or whatever that angels name is) Thanks for the excellent story. Cariels plight makes me feel sad for her, but...I'm curious to read more. It was just that "passion" nonsense bugged me. Pardon if I've offended.

I am so disappointed he had sex with Cariel! What about Maria? I thought he was starting to love her.

Why the hell would he do that other than that HORRIBLE MISTAKE I really love your series!!!

LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVVVVVEED IT!!

I thought he loved Maria too but I presume he's polyamarous? I don't like Cariel she easily submits to him sexually and voluntarily without the magic and forms an emotional bond with Devnik yet she still claims righteousness and moral highground over her sister yet she's sleeping with the man her sister loves? Was pretty annoying to read as she's an annoying character i feel she's killing the romance too

Devnik having sex with Maria's sister was dissapointing and the romance was demolished. It's evident that demons have no morals and was a surprise that one can love another but it seems like the Angels in the story don't have strong morals either and are too easy to submission.

I hate that he had sex with Cariel..killed the romance.

NT,

I love all the CM/CW series and can't wait for more. I applaud the "betrayal" of Maria because it certainly matches a demon's nature, and he and Maria have only known each other a short while. As the series continues and his true love for Maria grows it will be amazing to see how you blend more CW lore into the romance, all in directions I am sure most of us do not anticipate. Moreover, the depth of story and characters allow for a long run, if you still remain committed. Brilliant NT, brilliant. Lots-o-love from Houston!

Trog LoByte

I really don't like Cariel. Devnik fucking her killed the story for me.

I didn't like the sister coming around but I trust the author to make it work.

Loved the sister addition. Adds a twist

I think it is so disgusting that he fucked her sister knowing how she feels about him. The same thing goes for Cariel she needs to be cut out and really fast at that!

Why the hell would you turn the story around like this?? Devnik was beginning to seem as if he had a heart and actually cared for Maria! But then you ruin it by making Devnik a bastard once again and her sister a whore! I get that a lot of people want sex scenes in the stories but this just ruins it! He's cheating on someone who adores him with her sister...the whole thing is just wrong!! I'm counting on you to make it right but so far I'm horrified with the whole Devnik-Maria-Cariel love triangle. It was amazing before all that bullshit so good job with everything else you're very talented.

Devnik is a DEMON! He is not supposed to be a nice guy!!! If you don't like it, don't read it...

Yes he is a demon but as Devnik himself explained, he enjoys creation so it would seem odd if he didn't try to stay in this relationship with only Maria. You know to experience all the features of a legitimate relationship.

I love this whole story from the beginning. What a fabulous writer you are. Make this into a novel and it would shoot to the best selling list at number one forever!

Thank you for this incredible story and excellent writing. I envy your talent!!

A) Good story!

B) I know Demon Venom is addicting and all, but why didn't Cariel just offer him her blood, and then wish for her freedom? That seemed like a safe curse of action, or well at least a way better chance than fighting something she knows is way more powerful than her.

I guess the thing is that she wanted to lose, but...idk it just feels weird that she did not try that.

...I still really enjoyed the story though, gonna start reading the next chapter tomorrow probably

Your words are engaging and wonderful sir.

I love this story.

Like the title of my comment it is addictive.

Oh lord this story is everything I could want. I delicious demon with a soft spot for a half angel, then captures her half sister?! *swoons* If this story doesn't have a scene with both women pleasuring Devnik at the same time I'm gonna be pissed lol

This was very wrong to me considering he was with Maria and completely in love with her. It's even worse at the fact that Cariel was her sister, but if I were Maria, I would be completely and utterly destroyed if I found out that my love was fucking someone else...let alone her own sister.

I absolutely loved this... until the point where he had sex with a Cariel. I really hope we find out that was a dream on her part in the next chapter. So disappointed.

Way too many people commenting are complaining about a demon having another sexual partner. If you had no problem with a demon fucking a half angel and making her his slave, then why can't you accept polyamory?

Didnt Daniel already meet Maria, cause he said that he was her intendend

I'm so impressed with the quality of these stories. I've paid good money for books that have paled in comparison. You really have talent, Noble. Keep up the fantastic work and I greatly look forward to reading more.

P.S. you should really consider publishing your works

Another wonderful addition to this story! Thank you!

The Moment I read your name, the singer of the song I'm listening to right now, said "truth". I just found it a nice coincidence ;-).

Thanks for your story, I really enjoyed reading it.

A happy reader

There are some good ideas here, fun mythology, and an interesting plot, but there are also some big issues. I did keep reading on after Celestial Matters, so it's enough to hold my attention and make me want to find out what will happen to the characters, but I'm also frequently finding myself taken out of the story not just by grammatical mistakes, errors in usage, and verb tense confusion, but also the characters having inconsistent motives and personalities.

Carial is powerful, alive for millenia, but she doesn't understand she's weaker than a prince of hell? And she wants to submit to him after what, 24 hours? She also seems to constantly be whimpering and crying for a supposedly immensely powerful being. Devnik is a prince of hell, around since the beginning, but he doesn't know anything about aethlings? Jon seems to know quite a bit about Devnik's history, but doesn't know about Daniel, or suspect that a monster hunter randomly stumbling upon them might have ulterior motives?

Some elements of the story are fun and unique, but it could be so much better with some revision.

Thank you for sharing. Loved Celestial Matters, but unfortunately I didn't enjoy Celestial Wars as much. Agreed with the previous comment below from Anonymous. Besides Devnik is supposed to be a former angel Devniel or something, so how can he not know about Aethlings. & Cariel appears very weak here. Hated the coupling between Cariel and Devnik. It didn't make sense. Whilst I understand Devnik being a demon and will bed as many creature as possible, especially an angel, ( it's a bragging right...), however the bond created by the awakening was supposed to be special between Devnik and Maria. In Celestial Matters, Devnik was always making sure Maria was happy. Surely he would know Maria wouldn't want him to f*ck Cariel, especially when Maria appeared in his dream. I would've enjoyed the story more without "the bondwoman".

Cariel's submission is one of the hottest things I've ever read. My only gripe is that it would've been slightly better without the blood compulsion (i e. more voluntary). Still that scene alone makes this chaptwr a 5/5

I'm left very confused by this chapter due to the contradiction in writing/character development. In previous chapter you wrote the Awakener is also lover/spouse to the Aethling (hence I'm willing to overlook the 'magic cock' syndrome in the story). You've clearly established they care for each other and long for the other when separated. Devnik is a changed demon as demonstrated in the manner and risks he took to both keep and protect Maria. I get that Devnik would play with Cariel and even crave her blood but you also wrote at start of this chapter that Devnik didn't need Cariel to submit and serve him like that so am confused why he would fuck her -it's not even like he was pretending it was Maria he was fucking or even consider her feelings - which he certainly seemed to care about previously. This contradicts your earlier words on connection between Devnik and Maria. I don't have a problem with Devnik's infidelity in general - just with the contradiction in writing. Why does he need Maria if he can get the exact same thing from Cariel? This totally undoes the premise of initial chapter for me.

I wish Devnik and Maria were exclusive

I agree with another commenter, I wish Devnik and Maria were exclusive. I get he's dark, but.

Well written and interesting story, but I didn't like Devnik betraying Maria, evil or not.