All Comments on 'The Tail of Two Wolves Ch. 01'

It feels a bit rushed, but don't let that stop you or discourage you. Work on characterizations and individual attributes, like Abby playing with her hair, or an annoying facial tick on her father or something. Remember to include the senses in your work too....Like sight, smell, sound and taste.

I am looking forward to reading more.

Really hope this story continues

Good start. You gave us a strong conflict with well identified 'bad guys.' Slow down for some character development. When you first introduced Abby, I had trouble liking her. She is young and has the vanity of youth, okay. I wonder if you are a guy, because very few women would dress sexy knowing the icky dude that dad is trying to set you up with is coming over. She has been betrayed, traded off and is now hunted, but be sure to make her personally some one we WANT to root for. :)

Look forward to more.

Take your time with the story, so that we have time to get to know the characters. We need to understand them first, then care about them and that can't happen if you're rushing through it.

I'm looking forward to reading more, though. Keep it up!

This is a good start. I like the story overall. If Abby had no interest what so ever in Ethan then why did she put on such revealing clothes? It just didn't make any sense. I thought she was going to put on pants and a turtleneck.

What other interactions has Abby had with Ethan?

But it was too short

I agree with some of the other comments. Why would Abby dress with so little clothes when the person she hates and is forcing to marry is coming over? She seems a bit arrogant herself is why I think she dressed that way.

I got a feeling she ran it rolled into her dad's enemy pack. I would like to know why her dad doesn't like this other pack.

So none of you have ever seen a woman do this? Especially young women, like showing off their bodies and in this case it is to show him this is what you will never have.

If you distill all the comments down, they pretty much say the same thing. I agree with them, you have a good start, slow down and develop the characters in your story.

Keep going!

good start, but make it longer next time please

Are you kidding me??? Only one installment?! I settled in for a good story and there is only one short page... bumber. I would read it if you continued... Its a really good start...