All Comments on 'Rough Brocade'

Here. I read a lot of your work since seeing your interview in the forum, your style is awesome. Inly thing I didn't like was the line

she grunts

there again just about everything else has been done ad-nauseum worthy of a five from me.

I agree with todski - not sure about the grunt. She sighs? She gasps? Maybe not the effect you were looking for. Also not sure if you need shoulders in the second line, it's implied. Still an excellent write and an interesting situation.

disheveled vulture

cool plaster

cool and unusual sonic combo

molten folds of flesh engorged.

here too

even if I'm not a fan of people grunting during sexual ecstasy - they may do it, but still.

+5 for the images though - I'll never look at a brocade couch the same way again.