All Comments on 'Forbidden Lover'

by mamaval2930

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  • 6 Comments
HarryHillHarryHillalmost 11 years ago
Repitition is sometimes a good thing when writing

sometimes it's too much of a good thing

twelveoonetwelveoonealmost 11 years ago
it would have been nice

to break from the "Forbidden lover", pleasant surprise, no rhyming coups

I try to blow your mind - overused

this is very good effort on organization, try to rid it of things that you heard before

5 but new writer five

UnderYourSpellUnderYourSpellalmost 11 years ago
~

What does ' you are all hers to tow' mean, has it only been used because it rhymes?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
not just a rhyme. .

"All hers to tow" is referring to the fact the forbidden lover is a married man and because of this must follow the whims of a wife...The speaker is recognizing the wife's rights over her husband.

.

mamaval2930mamaval2930almost 11 years agoAuthor
thank you

Thanks for the critiques. ...they will help in future writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Bohemian Beauty

I must admit I like a poem that has a solid, and stable rhythm and rhyme, so there were some stiff parts to this poem where this didn't happen. But I liked the start of each verse being the same. It felt like a 70's Bohemian (I think I'm recalling this right) poetry piece. The repetition is the rhythm. Knowing that I've been involved in forbidden love this poem cuts me to the core, and leaves my open and exposed halves bleeding in the light of day. I know I didn't ever want to leave my lover. But everytime I did I just wanted her more.

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Conservative and professional by day, vixen by secret. I write both romantic stories, as well as erotica. My goal is to bring pleasure to people with my writing.

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