All Comments on 'Face Fuck Book #130—Belinda'

I miss the coast. liked this one

it is fun to write knowing that you enjoy these as much as I do; all the best to you!

You really have range in these poems and putting a human face on the type of person who is just invisible to most people, well, that is moving to me. Your poems really are similar to dramatic monologues, revealing as much about the narrator as about the subject of his story.

I think with your writing ability, such a strong fluid way you have, if you were to write something like this in free verse, it would be even more powerful. But that's just my opinion. I very much enjoyed the read. And if it has not been recommended already on the forum, I will do so shortly.

your kindness keeps me going!

I think kindness is both underrated and underused these days. But you are just a good writer, a really strong writer. I'm just being truthful about that. I don't always agree with your choice of subject or even the way you say it (reader's license, right?), but your talent is undeniable. And I still hope you write on the forum at some point. If not I'll keep reading you here.

but I think I said that early on, but what I gotta do? There are at least 10 lines, Her daughters...to...vex, that add nothing to the core story, you already have enough diversion (x amount is good, whatever x is) tactically, bad move to change syntax for rhyme, almost never works. That may be reason for excess phrases i.e "of which we speak" , "right in your face" while excess,comes off nicely though. I think I told todski this, get in, do what you have to do and get the fuck out, or more politely leave before the audience wants you to.

Side benefit to that, gives the reader.critic more time to focus on finer points

Liked your 45 comment, I was just sloppy, but I remembered the 12 inch 45's for dub, older folks would associate 45 with the 7 inch things with the big hole, which would muddy it, i.e. wtf is FDG doing with my Perry Como records. blah,blah,blah, I go on...5ed

the reason for detail is to humanize the characters and add to their credibility, i know you prefer pithy poems, as you say "in and out"--that reminds me of a girlfriend who after we orgasmed would always say, "please don't take it out"--i.e. different strokes.

Now look at "The Wasteland" do we have any excess as compared to"Lovesong of ...Poofrock"? I agree with your premise but sometimes hard and fast rules are made to be broken. ...and in the above, who would have brought notice of the death? and the pregnancies denote the life style of the poor who can't see a bright future over a bump and grind...." In any event go easy on me, I am a simple silly sensative man.....

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sorry