All Comments on 'First Stop'

by LOAnnie2

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
well done

That's what I call a well integrated but unfortunately too short a short story.

What I mean by well-integrated: the interweaving of real-time action with the real-time thinking/dreaming of the .. um .. "heroine".

Looks like I'll have to take a look at all your other contributions.

You did make one factual error:

"I check that the cash is in the envelope and quickly dress"

Unless it's a trusted regular, check the money FIRST, not afterwards.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Just terrible

A "1". Enough said.

Anonymous
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