All Comments on 'bacon eggs and beer'

by cavu182

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  • 4 Comments
erectus123erectus123over 10 years ago
well done

nicely erotic

twelveoonetwelveooneover 10 years ago
hey

not rhyming coups, 5 for that

shorten by two stanzas

you got a wrap.

HarryHillHarryHillover 10 years ago
good to see you cavu

liked the story but not that repeating end line. I think you got caught up in the rhythm and missed an opportunity to do something extraordinary in those lines.

DesejoDesejoover 10 years ago

Agreed with Harry - I don't think you need the final lines in each stanza. Liked this otherwise.

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writer of words and phrases for no reason or purpose

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